Just need to get this off my chest. Trouble with uni and unsupportive parents.

[Loodiepie]

Hi guys

I have never written on a forum before, I'm not even sure if this is the right place do say this, I just need to talk to someone, and I don't have anyone to talk with. I am currently in uni studying, I am the first in my family to get to uni, but I have always been terrible with my assignments and studying throughout my schooling. But I'll get to this later. My parents don't believe in depression, all through college I knew I wasn't going to live to see my 20th birthday. It wasn't a promise I made myself, just something that I held in the back of my mind. I had terrible self esteem, didn't look after my appearance, and I had the worst image of my self worth, always telling myself that a human like myself shouldn't even try to exist on this earth. But if I ever mentioned that wretched "D" word, it was just me making excuses to not try at school or work, that I was just giving a name to my period of sadness and to walk it, off, stop trying to get attention. Fast forward 4 years, and I was feeling bloody brilliant! much better than I did before, I had a boyfriend and an awesome job. I take so much pride in my appearance and everyone tells me how happy I always am at work. Now onto what has brought me back down. I got into my course last year. I struggled with sitting down to do assignments and even study, always have. some days I feel hopeless about my self because my grades are poor and I am struggling to reach my deadlines. I am sometimes forgetting appointments and am always late to work/meetings/sport/etc. I went to a doctor who referred me onto a counselor, who told me I may have ADHD. She gave me great advice, telling me I was smart, that my grades were just a reflection of my time management and inability to focus on one task, all of this wasn't my fault, I wasn't alone. I felt awesome again, I could actually be great at my future profession by using coping skills she taught me. Then I made the mistake of telling my parents. "don't you ever dare say you have ADHD, that's just an excuse for your procrastination. You just don't try at school."

Now I'm sitting in my car crying, thinking it's all my fault and I shouldn't even be trying to do a uni course because I'm just a worthless person.

Sorry for my long post. It doesn't matter if I don't get a response, in a way this was very therapeutic for me, and the weight in my chest is gone.

[pipsy]

Hi Loodiepie. Oh wow, you poor thing. It's rough, but at least you have an answer ADHD, is difficult to manage at the best of times. Having non-supportive parents means it's twice the struggle for you. Are you taking any meds for the ADHD, you need the support of people who understand it. You are not worthless, I totally admire you for attaining uni with the problems you have. I never made it that far. I would like to suggest you visit a Dr (possibly your own), tell him/her about the ADHD diagnosis and ask about support groups for this. Your Dr will not inform your parents of your decision, they are bound by ethics of patient/Dr confidentiality. Once you get the emotional support you need, you will start to feel better. You are not alone with this illness. ADHD is an illness like any other. Have you any information about the condition. Find out what you can, so you know how best to live with it. My understanding is you have difficulty concentrating for long periods: apart from that, my knowledge is limited. Are you able to confide in your bf, you need his support too, if possible. If he is still in your life, I would give him as much info as you can, so he can give you the emotional support you need. There are many professional people with this illness, who manage it successfully with help and encouragement. And a footnote here: you are not worthless, you are very brave to reach out on the forums.

Lynda.

[kaimare]

Hey Loodiepie,

You definitely are not alone with the parent situation. I would tell me parents I feel depressed and they would reply with "you are just bored" or "you need more sleep, take a vitamin B". Study is hard at the best of times, even when you are super confident and you time management is on point. Stick to it. You are not worthless. You are trying to make a difference to your life and that enough should make you proud of who you are and the study you do. Keep up the awesome work hun.

[taraanita]

You're definitely not a worthless person, you're working on improving yourself and getting an education which is awesome! I'm around your age and have ADHD and I think lots of people (many from our parents generation) think it is an excuse because so many very young children were told or were said to have ADHD - when I was in grade 1 I think about 90% of parents in my class threw the word ADHD around if their child was being naughty or disruptive which basically watered down the illness to nothing in many people's minds.

However were no longer in year 1 and drunk on red cordial. Because of the stigma behind ADHD so many people have just assume it to be "you're hyperactive" "you're not focusing" when there is often much more to it than that. I had a brain scan to confirm that I had ADHD because I honestly didn't believe my psychiatrist when he told me (I just thought I hated the subject I was studying) but no he was very right and I'm now medicated for it. If I get over stimulated and for want of a better word - hyperactive I try to channel it into my studies for however long it lasts and it works quite well 🙂

Dont be ashamed, embarrassed or feel worthless for having these problems, at least you're doing something about it that's something to be proud of! Plus heaps of famous people and inventors have ADHD so it ain't all bad. Keep it up 🙂