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It's getting too hard

Caidsf
Community Member

Hey, My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 2 years and we are both in year 12, she (although she denies it) has depression and possibly bi-polar, she recently went through a break up with her best friend and her friendship group has shunned her, she doesn't want to make friends or try and fix the relationship with her friends, I try and help her every night with her problems whether it be her depression or helping make up with her friends. Recently she's been pushing me away more, this normally doesn't bother me as I've had this the whole time, but she isn't listening to me and she's getting mad at me more often for helping her, she doesn't see herself as I see her which makes me mad, making her mad and I can't talk to her because I can't think straight. We are now allowed to date and when we are together it's perfect, she's fine, she sleeps on me and we both feel safe but then I or she leaves and that night it all starts again... I love her but it sometimes it gets all too hard

P.S. sorry if this didn't make much sense

2 Replies 2

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Caidsf, is it possible that the reason why she has broken up with her friend is because of her suffering from depression and doesn't feel as though the connection is worthwhile, or maybe it's the other way around.
Can I give you a tip and that's not to keep asking her questions because this will mean that she will close up on you or perhaps get angry with you.
This is something which we ask people not to do, and wait until she wants to start talking to you and slowly open up about what is troubling her.
I realise that you want us to give you an answer so that this situation come be overcome, and that's what we want to try and do, but if she does have bipolar, which I can't diagnose, then her moods are going to change from being happy to being sad, but her doctor will be able to give her medication which could control her moods and that's what she needs to do, see her doctor, and ask her if you can go as well.
There is no shame to see a doctor, but for some reason I'm not sure that she will want to go, so you can let us know about this, I just have that feeling, but I hope I am wrong.
People with any type of depression can't overcome it by themselves, sure they will be able to stop some surface problems but those deep down problems which she may know about but then she may not, are the ones that she needs help with.
A lot of people who have depression deny what ever someone says to them, so this is where the problem begins.
Stay in touch with us, because we would like to help the both of you. Geoff.

romantic_thi3f
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hey Caidsf,

Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment with year 12 and dating too. How are you handling it all?

It sounds like from reading your post that your girlfriend relies on you a lot for support; it's really great for you to be there for her but it sounds like it might be pretty draining sometimes. Does your girlfriend have much support with her depression and bipolar? Like Geoff said, it's possible that she may be struggling a bit with what she's feeling and that's why she's either not listening or pushing you away. Remember that she's got to make those choices about how she feels - if she's not getting help (like proper help from a GP), then that's her decision. It's not up to you and it's definitely not your responsibility to carry the weight of her problems with her friends. At the end of the day, she has to decide to get help and either fix or step away from the problem with her friends.