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I've been living a lie and I don't know how to be honest
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Everything I have ever done is on the surface. All my hobbies and interests in music and career path were all to impress others.
but now I don't know where to start to find out what I truly enjoy
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Hi EzmanCe. I find it difficult to believe that everything you've done has been to impress others. If you enjoyed what you were doing, then you've also made yourself relax. If you didn't enjoy it, it becomes boring. Did you ever get any enjoyment out of what you did? I feel if you were to sit down and make a list of the things you enjoyed at school (for instance). Do you enjoy art, movies, museums (they can be fascinating). Do you enjoy singing (I do, but can't), never mind, I still enjoy it. What about dancing, hiking. Do you enjoy just 'hanging out' with your friends?
Do you feel quite depressed because you feel you're the 'odd' one out, this would tend to stop you enjoying yourself. If this is indeed the case, perhaps you need to talk to a Dr about relaxation techniques. Trying to live up to other's standards is extremely difficult because you can't please everyone. Being 'you' means doing the things you enjoy. Some of what I listed might be a starting point.
Lynda.
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Hi EzmanCe, welcome to the forum. There's some good suggestions there from Pipsy. I think you're making a pretty harsh judgement of yourself and I'm interested to know more about why you're feeling this way and what's causing you grief at the moment. Can you tell us a bit more about you?
Y'know, everyone does some things to impress others, especially in careers and in our social lives. There's a very good chance that the people you think you're doing things to impress are doing it too! We are all actors in a way. I remember a person I really looked up to, a senior colleague who had a got a very big promotion, confiding in me that he always felt like a fraud. He said he talked the talk, walked the walk etc, but underneath he never felt capable of doing what he was doing. That's self-doubt, and it besets us all some times, especially, in my opinion, creative people.
It sounds to me that maybe you've lost interest in things that normally interest you. Is that the case do you think?
Come back to us mate.
Kaz
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