I recently found out I have an STI

[Lonelyness]

About a week ago I found out my boyfriend gave me herpes. It was an accident of course we are still together going strong but... I'm scared.

I've had issues with my self-esteem for years now and only in the last year have I gained any confidence in how I look and who I am, but after this all that work has gone out the window.

I feel disgusting in myself and hate myself even more than before. I don't feel like I deserve to have any sort of sex life anymore and the idea of my boyfriend trying to touch me makes me want to cry. I feel like I don't deserve to be treated like a pretty human anymore, just some sort of ugly creature pretending to be human but in reality is still just a creature nobody should think is pretty or hot in any way. I've spent a lot of time crying about all this but I can't think of myself in any other way.

[geoff]

Hello Lonelyness, I'm so sorry your boyfriend has transmitted this disease and I'm really sure you are a beautiful person, not only looking but also your character and from what you told us this must be heartbreaking for you.

If this was me, I'd be having a few words with him, but if you can find out what STI you do have then it can be treated by your doctor and if they need to send you to a specialist then please visit them.

I can completely understand how you are feeling, so please get the assistance you definitely need, I feel so much for you.

Have you made a decision about whether or not you are keeping your boyfriend and can I suggest only if he is getting help as well.

I'm with you all the way here and really hope we can hear back from you.

My best.

Geoff. x

[HappyHelper88]

Hello thanks for sharing I’m sorry to hear

this actually happenend to my best friend and was very hard for her at first but it definitely does happen more then we think

please understand it’s not your fault and this can be managed really well in My friends experience she also stayed with him and managed it together

treatment varies depending on the type you have as there is a difference. There is a medication that helps manage symptoms and stress can also cause a flare up! I know it seems hard now but it’s been 6 years since it happenend to my friend and it rarely affects her as she’s been able to control it and manage it really well

once again I’m sorry this happenend and please see your doctor for some advice and treatment and please reach out to us if you need!

[Petal22]

Hi Lonelyness,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry this has happened to you, it’s not your fault.

I’m sorry you are feeling scared I understand this would feel distressing for you.

Have you been able to discuss this with your gp?

If you haven’t I encourage you to make an appointment and let your gp know how you are feeling and ask your gp for treatment options.. ask your gp to explain anything to you that you are feeling unsure about.

Please reach out to us anytime.

[Shay123]

Hello Lonelyness,

I'm so sorry you have been put in this position and that you feel that way about yourself. STI's, although it may feel embarrassing to admit when you have contracted one, are very normal and happen to so many people. The good thing is is that they're often an easy fix! Whether or not you catch an STI or is more or less out of one's control. Of course you can be safe and use prevention methods but ultimately there's no guarantee that a person won't catch an STI. Catching an STI is never a reflection of you as person. No one would change their perspective of you (and if they do I would recommend that they're not the best people to surround yourself with) if you have an STI and it should never have the power to change how you view yourself. These things happen and quite often to so be kind to yourself during this time!

[Lonelyness]

I am still with my boyfriend and have been treated and everything physically is better now. Me and my boyfriend are fine. It's really just my confidence that is terrible, I feel so bad about myself.

[geoff]

Hello Lonelyness, you should feel more disappointed with your bf for not telling you, but so pleased you are alright.

Has your doctor suggested you have monthly/yearly checks and taking all the precautions needed because you can still have a prosperous life, and please take care.

Geoff.