Hello
First off, thank you for reading this, I hope you can learn something from it.
Basically everyone around me says that I am a very social person, and it doesn't feel like they're saying it just to be polite. Truth is, I almost always can see how someone is feeling and can almost always adjust my behaviour to other persons. I believe I am liked by many, but lately I have been feeling more and more lonely. I love being alone and not talk to people and that makes me sad with myself because it is important to help others and I should feel lucky that people like me.
I feel like this about many things. I consider myself lucky with my looks and mind but sometimes i just feel like sleeping a lot and not doing anything at all, which makes me sad because it feels like im wasting the luck that someone else could have had.
I' m doing about the hardest education anyone of my age can do, and i used to love to learn but now I feel like my school is trying to make me learn too much and i dont feel like learning that much anymore, which, again, makes me feel like i'm wasting myself, but lately learning too much does too.
I love gaming, which often angers my parents.
I often feel like I shouldnt complain about anything really because at least im alive and get to wash myself and eat daily. I realize many things and it often makes me feel guilty or less worthy, and i realize this as well. Just knowing and realizing so much makes me lose track of what im doing and feeling and sometimes i feel like im not feeling anything at all.
i want to take a break from school. It is too much to handle, my thoughts and desires and needs and other peoples needs and homework and i just want to do what i wantbut i dont even have enough money for anything because i dont have a job because i can't even cope as it is now and i feel trapped while feeling lucky that ive been born with all my body parts and good brains and friends but my mind is just going too fast right now. Ive been diagnosed with ADD btw
like this post, my mind usually is not very organized. Sorry
hope you learned, reply to whichever part you want
love,
Sosonakias
