i dont know what to do anymore.

[rocker12341234]

ive always struggled with my social development partially cause of constant bullying throughout middle and high school and partially cause my parents have always belittled, degraded and otherwise called me a "worthless pos thatll never amount to anything" whenever they arent blaming me for everything wrong with thier lives. not to mention daily miscellaneous verbal abuse and occasional physical abuse from my parents over trivial stuff. so i have next to no confidence or trust in people.

every time i try to break free and do something to get my life together it seems they find a way to screw it up. i even tried running away years ago before the end of highschool and lived with relatives that werent so toxic for a while but when it came to trying to find employment my parents found out and pretty much made the employment agency i was with find me work near them so id be forced to move back in. 

fast forward to now, everything hit the fan a couple days ago, cops were involved but since it was father on son and my mother brushing it off as "they just get hot headed" nothing got done. im at my breaking point, and my father despising that he finally messed with the wrong people and almost got dragged away by cops has given me a week.

i have no money, no id outside of a bankcard and very outdated student id, no local friends (all live interstate or overseas) and dont know what i can do. part of me is heavily debating running and just taking the homeless plunge cause its gotta be better than here suffering this constant bs but i understand how risky that can be. i just need to get out of the situation and start new but everywhere i look it just looks like a constant state of "you need money to make money"

[Sophie_M]

Hi rocker12341234,

Thank you so much for posting on the Beyond Blue forums and welcome to this warm and kind community. It must have taken a lot of courage to write your story and we want to thank you for being so brave. You never know who will read your post and feel less alone in their own experience.

It is never ok for someone to treat or act that way towards you. We want to encourage you to call 1800 RESPECT (180 737 732) to discuss how you are feeling. They are experts in supporting people who are experiencing abuse and will listen in a kind, understanding and non-judgmental way.   

If you are ever in danger, please do not hesitate to phone 000. 

You can also call us on 1300 22 4636 anytime, or reach us on webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support. Our counsellors can also help point you in the direction of local support services such as emergency accommodation if needed.   

Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. Thank you as well for being an important member of our community.   

Kind regards,   

Sophie M