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i dont feel like i fit in

Community Member

im in year 10 and i started a new school at the start of this year. i know its only been 8 or so weeks but i still dont feel like i fit in anywhere. everyone already have their designated friend groups. at lunch and recess i float around and dont really have a "group" to always be around. i know its still early but i feel so unwanted. 

another thing, on the bus a peer took a photo of me and made fun of me in a groupchat with their friends. it wasnt a big deal but in the moment i got pretty upset. i told one of my new friends my side of what happened then they asked the person what happened and they made me look like im making a big deal out of nothing. i have issues with cameras and i always get so anxious when theres one infront of me but thats a story for another day. i feel like if i was in my old school then everyone would be abit more understanding. 

what can i do 

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Mango-ice, (I love mango) 


The issue with cameras is a problem many people have. They feel violated when one is used on them. Sometimes its important to evaluate the reasons why one feels like that then you can see things differently. 


So, what are the ramifications of a picture being taken? A friend of mine gets angry when a security camera is in a store, as if someone is watching them. So I asked- would you do anything wrong like steal something?- " now way". Having been a security guard I said "so if I told you that security staff have one focus only- if anyone is stealing something or damaging an item... then my friend realised no one is actually looking at them for any other reason she relaxed.


So in the case of the person taking your photo without permission, even though it is rude and typical teenage behaviour designed to stir you up, what could be the worst harm done with that photo? Maybe he/she could send it around to their friends but, its just a photo of you on a bus.... This is called "getting things into perspective". Plus the more you react the more they will do things like that. Better to expect things like that to happen until you leave school and enter the adult world whereby it is a rare event and you can relax more.


"An unwanted photo of you is more likely to be taken by a bully that knows you wont like it... preying on the weakest link. Laugh it off and it's likely not to be taken again"


In terms of your feelings of "unwanted" I suggest you pick out the activities you like to do and seek "like minded people". Eg I felt like that at school (it was over 50 years ago lol) and eventually went into a library at lunch time and began to draw as I liked designing model planes. Then one day another student noticed my drawings and he knew how to draw 3 dimensional fighter planes of world war 2. We got on really well plus he had a few other friends that did also and we all met up together at lunch time. So things can snowball. The important thing is to remember- it isnt you, it's the fact that you didnt spend time with these new students beforehand. At year 10 and beyond it shouldnt be about friends but about your studies. So every time you felt alone if you put your focus on studying after a few minutes you'd forget about lack of school friends. This is very important because your success in the adult world will depend more on your effort of your school work than your loneliness ...


"Employers will look at your school grades not ask you how many school friends you had in year 10"


Good luck TonyWK

Hi TonyWK (so glad we both love mango lol)

Thank you so much for your reply and advice, I really needed that. Although I did have a go at the person and they haven't bothered me since ;). I will find some new activities to try out (since I don't have a lot of hobbies). I asked a person I didn't really talk to if I could hang with them, so I'll update and hopefully everything gets better sooner or later:). Thank you for your help again, I really appreciate it