How do you know that you're doing enough?

[aidjm]

I'm always struggling with this question. I never quite feel like I've done enough during the day, or to help myself in general.

I'm living at home with my parents again, so I'm not doing as much as previously (I got through a single semester of university a few months ago). I've been doing things like looking for jobs, regular exercise, driving in order to get my license, etc., but these things never quite feel like enough.

I discovered with my therapist yesterday that I'm a bit of a black and white thinker. I feel heavily guilty and ashamed if I make a mistake, or get sidetracked from my to-do list, and I start berating myself. On top of that, I feel like I'm not doing enough to heal my depression/anxiety: I keep thinking that I "should be getting somewhere by now," or I "should know that," or "be working on that," etc. There's always steps that I feel I need to be taking, and I become afraid that I'm slacking off.

Sometimes I wonder how much of my worries are just me being a black-and-white perfectionist and how much are telling me that I actually do need to do more. How would I know for sure when I genuinely need to move forward or when I'm just being hard on myself?

Does anyone else feel similar? Do you guys have any ways of knowing that you're doing enough?

[Neil_1]

Hi there aidjm (now it could be aid, but I'm still going to run with DJ)

Another excellent post you've provided DJ - and with regard to it - really it's an individual thing.  No other person can really advise on what is too little or what is just right, etc.

One thing to say though is that if you are doing "little" things on a daily basis, then that is bloody awesome.  🙂    And you know it's as simple as getting up, out of bed, having a shower, getting dressed, having something to eat and heading outside.

Now I've mentioned a number of things there - and it can depend totally on the person as to what stage they're at as to whether ANY of those are achievable.

The thing I might say here is DON'T be too hard on yourself - EVER.  I know this is much easier said than done and perhaps I should practice what I preach there.  🙂

If you make a mistake, don't sweat it - you're only human.

If you get side-tracked or forget to do something - again, the thing will be there tomorrow - have another go then.

The sun will come up tomorrow and hopefully it'll be a better day.

I hope this post has helped a little and either way, it'd be great to hear back from you.

Neil

[Jacko777]

Great question aidjm and a great reply from Neil. I guess the answers are different for everybody, so many grey areas! I have days where I am lazy and don't get any closer to my goals, if I am dissatisfied with my results then I know I need to improve in that part of my life. However, if I am lazy, I commit to the fact that I CHOOSE to be lazy. 

Sometimes I have to just have faith that I am getting closer to my goals even when it doesn't seem like it, if I am doing the right actions then I let go of the expectation of a result, leave it to the universe! Success is just a series of failures, if i am not being challenged I am not growing.

In terms of knowing if I am doing enough...I have long term goals that I work back to short term goals, things I would like to achieve tomorrow, intertwined with my responsibilities as a family member / friend / employee. Life is a balancing act, I don't always get the balance right but I always attempt to enjoy the journey. 

And if you are feeling dissatisfied perhaps you could take some time out, smell the roses! Do something you love each day, something that makes you happy and takes your mind off everything else.