Have never felt so lonely and isolated.

[Darla23]

So where to begin. My best friend and I have been drifting away for about over a year now, ever since she went into a drug induced psychosis. Nearly two years on from the incident we still had the same friendship group but we kept getting annoyed by each other and the old spark which made is best friends for over 8 years was gone, she was the same with everyone except always acted different around me. Straight after she got out of hospital she even stated she didn't want to see me bexause she had bad vibes (lets get this clear she didn't go into the drug induced psychosis because of me and she was always taking stuff with a guy). Recently we had a massive fight (friendship ending fight) and I thought okay it sucks we aren't speaking but this is a long time coming. However everyone in our group has shunned me because of our fight. She ended up hanging out with every single one of our friends straight after the argument and told them all about it and no one spoke to me for two weeks or even asked if I was okay, I even reached out to another really close mate and she just said she was busy. It was a mutual fight and no one else was mentioned or got involved so it shocked me that this happened. So two weeks on I finally meet up with one friend who was meant to be another really close mate said "you both need to sort it out or we will take sides". Just really shocking, I thought my friends would hang out with both of us not just stop talking to one completely. The real kick is the best mate was my maid of honour, the girl who said "we will take sides" was a bridesmaid and another girl in this group was another bridesmaid of mine. So now I don't want to even plan my wedding as my "closest" friends have bailed on me. I have crashed my car today (a month aftrr the fight) and I literally just broke down because I no longer have anyone I can talk to about it (apart from my partner of course). I have no one anymore. The group of friends are friends I've hung out with since I was 14. I am used to having events on every weekend and chatting to my friends every day and I have nothing. The only thing I am doing is working, blogging and obviously hanging out with my partner. I feel like I only have one person to talk to. I have never felt so lonley. I just feel really down and frustrated. I have always held loyalty to my friends and I feel no one had any loyalty to begin with. I'm 23 and I have never experienced anything like this before.

[white knight]

Hi

Its tough losing friends. Let your ex best friend talk about you. Just don't do that about her. Then your friends will eventually realise who is the destructive one.

Jealousy us often an unspoken factor

Don't allow others yo comment. Tell them they have a right to listen to her but you also have a right not to hear the gossip.

Tony WK

[Zeal]

Hi Darla,

Welcome to the forum! I'm also 23 by the way 🙂

I'm really sorry to hear about this upsetting situation with your previous best friend and friendship group. It does sound quite unfair, and it's a shame that she went straight to the group and got them on her side after your fight.

Like Tony, I think the wise thing to do here (but certainly not the easiest) is to go about your life without your friends for the moment, and hopefully once the animosity has dulled down, someone from your group will reach out to you. Hopefully your friends will still be part of your wedding party, as to do otherwise once the plans have been in place is an uncomfortable situation to find yourself in. If you do run into one of your friends, be kind and calm. If they don't treat you with respect, tell them calmly and non-accusingly that you are hurt by their actions. It would be pretty hard for them to criticise you for feeling the way you do, especially if you say it calmly.

Spend as much time as you can with your partner when you're not working. As well as just enjoying each other's company at home, you could go on walks, go to dinner, go to the movies etc. Doing things like this with your partner regularly will hopefully help with the loneliness. I realise that your partner cannot take the place of your extended friendship group or best friend though. By the way, do you sometimes spend time with your partner and his friends? Perhaps accompany him to an event where his friends will be, and try to connect more with them. This is just an idea. It's nice to have your own friends, but I'm sure your partner will be happy to see you getting on well with his friends.

I really hope everything goes alright for you 🙂

You are welcome to reply!

Best wishes,

SM

[Darla23]

Thanks for the advice guys. The only other problems are my friendship group is tied in with with basically every other person I know and will be at all the same events.

Still feeling pretty sh**** to be honest. I'm exhausted from feeling upset