feeling overwhelmed and need tips for self-compassion

[Mangopie8]

Hi there,

I have just graduated and is applying to graduate school lately. But each day, when I searching for potential supervisors and trying to read their work, I get more and more stressed out. I get overwhelmed by the amount of work I need to do before the application deadline. I started to feel like the joy and love I have for research starting to fade away. More and more self-doubts start to creep in and everyday I'm just trying to keep my head above water. I try to recognise that not everything is in my control, but 'thinking about the bright side' seems fake and pointless at times. I don't know if anyone felt like this before. I'm really curious about how do people take care of themselves during difficult times, and what are their tips for self-compassion.

Kind regards,

Mangopie8

[Mangopie8]

Hi all,

I wonder if anyone has experienced the same thing as I do when they practice self-compassion, where the little things you do no longer bring the same joy as they initially did. Myself as an example, I started to take a walk after lunch while listening to podcasts two weeks ago. I felt energised afterwards and it became my favourite thing--I looked forward to it when I wake up in the morning. But recently, mid-day walk with podcasts no longer brings me the same joy like before, partially because I run out of good episodes and also the excitement of new habit naturally dissipate over time. I started to have mixed feelings about going on a walk. On the one hand, I want to stick to my habit and try not to underestimate the impact of exercise. But on the other, I felt unmotivated and insecure about going outside. I wonder if anyone ever felt the same and how do you overcome this. Any suggestions will be much appreciated.

Kind regards,

M

[chadicha]

Hey, I truly resonate with what you've just said- It happens to me all the time. For me, it took me to realise that sometimes even the small habits I use to help uplift me or empower me momentarily won't always be the cure to my current state, and thats okay. Sometimes these small rituals act as band-aid solutions that even though at first they provide relief, over time they begin to degrade and aren't as effective and the root feelings start to fester up again. I wonder if you have tried stepping back, even as large as delving into your life purpose, what brings you passion and making time to do what you truly love (whatever this is eg. instruments, design, art, connecting to childhood roots.)These things can be so much more restorative and regenerative than simple self-care practices that sometimes work and sometimes don't. This is all a journey, but you will get there eventually! Don't give up, your amazing.

[Learn to Fly]

Hi Mangopie8,

Yep, I’m with you on this one. Some things they just sort off wear off after awhile. This might show how curious your brain is and how it craves new stimulations.
Can you think of anything else that you could listen to while walking? Songs?
Changing walking paths to explore to areas?
etc

[Mangopie8]

Hi chadicha, thanks for your reply! I'm glad that I'm not alone in feeling this way. It is very true that those self-care activities are pleasant momentarily but they don't necessarily address the underlying problem that may worry us. I tried to use structured problem-solving sometimes to address the issue directly, and I usually felt better immediately afterwards (even just listing a few solutions before evaluating them). And I will also try your suggestions on finding my passions and hobbies -- I love watching movies and have been thinking about writing some reviews for fun, I guess I could start from here:)

[Mangopie8]

Hi Lear to Fly, thanks for your reply! It is pretty amazing that our brains need both familiarity from routine and also excitement from new things. As my hour-long walk magic started to wear off, I reduced my walking to 30-40min so that it doesn't feel like a chore and I could still keep the habit. And yes, I switched podcasts and found some new ones. Although they did not bring back the initial excitement, they did bring some changes and give me more choices and flexibility. And I will definitely try a different path in the next couple of days -- it is a great idea! Will let you know how I go!