Falling apart, meeting a psychiatrist in mid ish October for ADHD and very scared

[Guest1020]

Hello,

I have a first appointment with the second psychiatrist in mid October and I am very scared and anxious.

The first time I visited the psychiatrist (not the ones I have booked with in October), it was nothing but an absolute train wreck, she didn't believe I had depression or ADHD. To the point, where she said I should stop being tired and form habits.

I am scared and very anxious that the psychiatrist will not believe I have any difficulties in life. I am scared that he will think I am a drug seeker, despite me not ever taking drugs, scared that he will say it's all in my head, scared that he will send me off and not help.

I am barely functioning right now, I am constantly tired, cannot think properly, constant brain fog, pacing extensively for several hours, forgetting appointment, forgetting bills, spending money impulsively, relying on my mum to take care of cause i can't, hygiene maintenance, fired from two jobs and withdrawn from uni 7 times.

i am not functioning, I was prescribed anti depressants, and they made me feel dumb and shaky.

I feel like all the doors in life are closing, all my opportunities closed, I can barely even believe that this me and I am very scared that I will be homeless because of these issues.

I want to be functional, I want to be productive, I want to work and study, I want to lead an independent life, but at this moment with this brain, I can't. And I don't think I can handle another psychiatrist appointment where either they say I'm depressed or stop being tired.

I have goals I want to achieve, I know what I need to do to achieve them, so why isn't there any psychiatrist who can help me. I can't access psychologists because the ones who specialise in ADHD are booked out or there is no ADHD psychologists.

I am fed up and exhausted. The school reports I plan to bring don't indicate any mental health issues, and I can't bring my family over since they don't believe in mental health at all. I'm genuinely afraid that I will be seen as someone who is just another ice addict who wants ADHD meds.

Trying to access an adult ADHD assessment as a 21 yr old makes me feel like I'm being treated as a criminal or drug addict by the whole mental health system. I am willing to undergo randomised drug testing if it means the psychiatrist can properly evaluate me when it comes to assessment.

I don't want to live like this, I don't want to be a burden, pacing extensively for hours because you can't sit still is not depression

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Your first psychiatrist likely wasnt good for you. He/she might have been good for many other people, but not for you. So, just like we have good truck drivers and bad ones, good doctors and not so good and so on. Life is like that, sometimes we come up against a challenging person more often when younger than older because some older people think they are superior or they dislike or misinterpret younger people.

I was initially diagnosed incorrectly with ADHD at 45yo. I'm 65 now. You shouldnt be treated poorly for having this illness. It is noting to be ashamed about. In fact often having ADHD means you have some abilities others dont have like art, entertainment and writing. Do you have any high abilities in those fields?

So, repost anytime, so glad you came to this forum.

TonyWK

[Spl spl]

Hello,

Sorry to hear you are going through this, it's just an incredibly difficult thing to deal with especially when people don't believe your pain. And it's also totally understandable to feel that way, after all you had a bad experience before.

Keep going and you will find a psychiatrist that is educated in ADHD. There are ones out there and it is possible to get treatment for it, it is possible for another psychiatrist to believe you. Seriously, please don't give up on finding someone. Finding someone for it is probably one of the best things I've done for my life. There is definitely somebody who understands, even if wasn't the first person, you will definitely find them in the future. If you're really anxious, depending on where you live there might be some lists of well-known psychiatrists who are educated in ADHD. That's how I found a person who actually wanted to help me.

[therising]

Hi Guest1020

I believe any professional who leads a client to feel abandoned, without any sense of direction or any answers is highly questionable. You can't help but wonder how many other people they've disappointed. I hope this new psychiatrist holds a lot of helpful answers for you and also a solid path in the way of direction.

I can understand your frustration, as I've seen it in my 16yo son. For my son, the only reason he wanted a diagnosis of ADHD is so he could gain the skills and tools he needed in walking such a challenging path. While he's an energetic person, the focus he's lacking impacts his academic performance, which frustrates him incredibly. After extensive testing, the psychologist concluded she believes while there's nothing to indicate ADHD, she suspects he's on the autism spectrum (high functioning). Further testing's needed. Although autism hasn't been officially confirmed yet, he's so happy for the direction. Finally, things are starting to make more sense. All the pieces of the puzzle are coming together.

Professionals can definitely lead you to doubt yourself at times. It's hard to not take what they say personally. I can think of 3 occasions in my life where GPs misdiagnosed my symptoms, leading me to walk away feeling foolish and depressed. When you're at your wits end, when life has become so dysfunctional in so many ways, it's amazing how dismissive professionals can be. Two of those occasions related to extreme fatigue. On both occasions I was told something along the lines of 'This is just a part of life, we all get tired and overwhelmed by a number of pressures'. One involved me returning to the GP, telling them I just can't drive anymore, I can barely get off the couch and I have trouble remembering family members' names. Turned out to be a severe B12 deficiency which was finally treated. The other occasion led me, in frustration, to organise my own at home sleep study test. What was originally diagnosed as being '...just a part of life...' turned out to be sleep apnea. It's incredibly frustrating when professionals just don't want to listen to you. In my opinion, they're meant to be detectives. With some of them, all they're detecting are their own thoughts, not clues as to why life's so dysfunctional for us at times.

As you seek the path back to greater function, watch out for depressing people like that 1st psychiatrist. Anyone who doesn't feel like a guide isn't a guide. You'll feel who's guiding you and who's not 🙂