Everytime i see my reflection or look in the mirror i feel ugly...

[Nightingale_]

Hello, I am new to Bluebird and not sure how to start this.

I just feel so ugly and can't help but critise myself, i'm not even sure why it matters to me as much as it does because, unlike many others, I know what I want to be and want to do. When the issue of self- depriciation first started for me, I was sated by the arguement of ' people on social media have spent hours trying to perfect their pictures' or 'that's not how they actually look', but now i'm just comparing myself to everyday people and as much as I've tried to stop, I just can't help it... Everytime I try to better my looks (skincare for example) and it works, I would feel happy and content for a miniscule amount of time before the back of my head reminds me, yet again, that I am unattractive. I have mentioned this to my parents, but you can probably guess their response. I'm too scared to talk to this with my friends as I believe that they'd judge me or brush the statement off by saying' you're not ugly' when it's quite clearly a lie. I don't think I've ever gotten a genuine compliment that wasn't from my parents and thinking about that just makes it all the worse. I don't even want to be undeniably beautiful, I just want to be average.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Nightingale_,
Welcome to our forums, and I'm glad that you were able to reach out and talk about what's been happening, especially if you don't feel comfortable talking about this with other people in your life.

It sounds like that these feelings of feeling like you are ugly, or that you look worse than other people, are something that has been weighing on you a lot and having a really negative impact on your mental health as well. Sometimes we can get caught up in a cycle of self-criticsm and negative thinking, that can be really hard to break out of once we get stuck in it. That's why in addition to having a chat on our forums for support, I think that it might also be helpful to consider speaking to a counsellor, or another mental health professional, about what's been going.

If you feel up to it, you can also call our 24/7 Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support.  If you're under 25, you can also talk to a professional counsellor 24/7 at Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or visit their website at https://kidshelpline.com.au/.

I'm going to open this up for the rest of our lovely community to chime in, but please know that you don't have to be alone in dealing with this, Nightingale_, and that we are all here to support you.

[Ggrand]

Hello Nightingale,

A warm welcome to our forums..

I think it’s really good that you have decided what you want to do in your life and know what you want to be and do...

I have never been one who worries about my looks..maybe because I know just how individual and unique we are all Were all different shapes, different sizes, different hair colour, different skin colour..

Comparing yourself to other people you see walking around or everyday life, is something I would imagine a lot of people do...But why I don’t know..Have you ever thought that those people you are comparing yourself to are doing the exact same thing you are doing...I mean we are our worse critic...

To me true beauty is inside of us...our kindness, care, love that’s inside us always shines through to our eyes our smile..our personality, these are the things that make ourselves beautiful...

Please dear Nightingale...If you feel up to giving one of those contact phone numbers a ring..the people on the other end are highly trained councillors..very caring and understanding,,,

Talk here whenever you feel up to it and let us know how your feeling...

we here for you dear Nightingale...(love your forum name)..

sending you my kindest thoughts with care.

Grandy..