Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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"Addicted" to a friendship, please help

replies: 3

For 4 years since starting uni I haven't had normal mental health for various reasons ranging from social loneliness to death anxiety. But currently I'm stuck in a very weird problem and my mentality is honestly malfunctioning. So essentially, for 3 years at uni I totally struggled to make any friendships, I got terrible depression and my grades went to ruin. Last year things turned around, I started doing good in studies again and met my current best friend. For a socially-incapable ASD person like me, surprisingly her and I had a lot in common and we really connected. She and I became quite close and life was good for some time. I did end up falling in love, and was turned down, and that hurt a lot, but currently it's a somewhat separate issue. Mostly I asked her out because I genuinely liked her, but a part of it was a desperate gambit to keep her around a bit longer. It's the first real friendship I experienced in ages and I am terrified to lose it. This year we have many of the same courses, and next year, not so much, and it's actually influencing my choice of electives because I desperately want more chances to be with her. But I am certain my concerns with our friendship has become obsessive and unhealthy. I would frequently check Facebook to see if she said anything to me. I would get frustrated when I get messages from other people because I thought the notification was her. When she doesn't come to uni I feel like shit, and as even as I write this I'm literally looking out the window to see if she'll come to class today. I know this is weird and wrong. If she knew she'd probably be somewhat freaked out. But I don't know, my brain seems broken right now. Help.

Society Sucks In 2019..

replies: 3

I don’t know about anyone else, but one of the main reasons I am depressed/anxious, is because of the way our society is/acts today. I have a history of sexual abuse from when I was very young, and have been cheated on by several previous partners, which doesn’t help with the paranoid thoughts that come into my head on a daily basis. My biggest concern is the women of our generation. It seems as though everyone’s trying to look like a Kardashian these days, and it’s just pathetic and sad. It makes it hard for me to have a healthy relationship.. It also makes me sick , the amount of sexualised content there is on the internet, and how easily accessible it is. How can anyone feel safe in a relationship these days? The excuse is always, “If I wanted to be with someone like that, I would.” But how is looking another female up , not wanting that?... I just feel so hopeless all of the time, because I don’t feel safe in my relationship, in the sense that my partner is going to leave me for another girl, since it’s so tempting for guys to cheat these days, due to the content online and the way girls act and look nowadays. Can anyway relate??

Anxiety after opening up about domestic violence

replies: 1

About four months ago, I opened up to an adult about my past for the first time (domestic violence as a child, and toxic home environment (senior in high school). I've had a history of anxiety and depression since three years ago (officially) and usually I'm extremely careful about who I talk to about what and as I result I have not told anyone in any great detail apart from this person, who I initially did not intend on telling. I think I was just in a really bad place (its a lot, lot better now, much better at coping and I no longer suddenly 're-experience' those past traumas) and I just broke down in front of them. Though they were extremely supportive, I felt immensely guilty and ashamed of telling them (I didn't know them very well at the time). When I'm not occupied my mind is constantly occupied with the person I told and it really makes me upset that I can't stop worrying about what they think about me. I really am not sure what to do, any advice would be appreciated!

Young mother who is alone.

replies: 2

I am 23 years old, one son who is almost one and a half who is also a handful and I am alone. My partner joined the army and is away doing his training and I have no family to help and I feel completely overwhelmed and angry because nothing is going right and everything is falling apart since my partner left. I was diagnosed with PND when my son was born and it left me feeling detached from him, like there was no love there. I was put on medication and it helped and it went away but now that I am pregnant again I feel the same way about both babies, just complete detachment and I don't want to feel that way. I have made an appointment to see my doctor and there is nothing else I can do but wait and I guess I was just looking for someone who understood what it is like to be completely alone with a difficult baby feeling disconnected from everyone and everything.

Nothing is helping

replies: 1

Hi, I'm 14 and I think I might have depression, but my psychologist, who is good in all other ways, refuses to use the 'd-word' and instead refers to it as a 'mood thing', which isn't helping at all. I don't want to kill myself or wish myself dead, but I quite often wish that I just didn't exist. I've lost interest in most things that I used to enjoy, and the feeling of everyone hating me has come true because someone who was supposed to be my best friend accused me of something I didn't even do and talked to all my other friends about it, so they are all ignoring me and giving me the cold shoulder. Because of this, I've lashed out and just made the situation worse. I don't know what to do can someone please help?

Feelin like a fako | Why am I so caught up in my own worthless issues?

replies: 13

I feel like a fako attention seeker... Hey everyone, im Kiki and im 12 yo. I feel like a fako because my little tiny first world issues look dumb next to real depression. Im probably just a lonely drama queen in need of sympathy. I go to a friend for help and shes all sympathetic and says stuff like 'feeling for you' or 'omg poor you'. After she says stuff like that I feel... comforted. Like i got what i wanted. Thats what my inner voice says anyways. I post one of my small issues like "Are my friends jealous of me?!?!?!" Then i read posts about people who have actually hit rock bottom and have it way worse than me. I feel stupid. Am i just looking for attention or am i really depressed? I feel empty, like Im lying to everyone about who i am. I dont feel anything, just emptiness. I feel like im just sorry for myself. Some days im happy and perfectly fine, but the next i hate everything in the mirror and every little thing i do. Im in a love hate relationship with the mirror, and i dont know how to make it better. Youre probably wasting your time if youve read up to here. But thank you, really. If you have time, replies would be very much appreciated. xox Kiki

I can't make friends, what's wrong with me?

replies: 9

I don't really know what to do anymore. i used to have a lot of friends in highschool, a massive group of girl and guy friends, it was great, I was out every weekend and always doing stuff. Then one day it just changed, I started to get picked on, laughed at and left out. Fast forward 3 years and I don't have any friends. I've tried so hard but people just don't like me or don't include me. I've tried traveling on my own, joining sport teams, joined uni clubs and groups and gone on camps. I meet a lot of people, but no that wants to stick around. People don't like me. My parents have always brushed it off as a 'phase' or 'jealousy' but Im so tired of crying, and feeling alone and always wondering what's wrong with me. Why can't i make friends? I'm nice, I've always gone out of my way for people. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to feel so alone anymore, I hate it.

Life is really hard sometimes.

replies: 1

It's been a while since I last posted. By nature, I find it hard to share my feelings and thoughts outside of counselling. I'm honestly feeling that I've made some big mistakes in the past. I've just finished my Uni degree recently and I've been looking for any work. Nothing at all is happening, in 8 months, I've had two interviews and countless rejections. I should have gotten even part time work while I was studying. Now I'm over qualified for simple stuff and I don't have enough experience for my degree field of work. I want to be able to provide more income at home so that we won't be so broke all the time. I feel like I can't do anything right at the moment. I'm feeling like I've screwed up. I want to feel like I'm doing something that matters too. The worst part is, I am now realising that all the hard work I'm putting in means nothing. Because no matter how hard I'm trying, it's not going to get me anywhere because no-one realises or notices. Gonna have to keep trying and hope I get lucky. Maybe. Someday. I just wanted to vent a bit. Things just suck.

I feel sad and it seems like there's no way out

replies: 7

Hi all I'm supposed to go to sleep soon, but I feel sad. I have been feeling sad almost everyday now. I see a psychologist though but, I don't really have anyone to talk to when things get tough. I grew up really poor and I have been living in a dysfunctional home for all of my life. I study full time at uni and I can't afford to move out. My mum calls me a demon and makes me feel terrible about myself. My mum is never there for me and watches the tv. She never lifts me up, she tells all of her friends and relatives that I'm weak and she tells me that I am weak and that I can't do her job. My psychologist made me realise that I have been abused for all of my life. But I am just so confused because everyone always pushes me to my mum. And my view of the world is complex, I don't have anyone but myself. Since my mum and dad spilt, my mum tells me she doesn't make enough money to support me so I get money from the government to survive. It's tough. I currently do occupational therapy and it has made me realise how wrong I am for OT. I've had sleepless nights. When I study, I need a blanket wrapped around me. I feel like I am not smart enough. I don't even have my car license because when I first started driving, I drove with my mum and I got into a car accident. Feels like other people come from good families and have enough money to survive. I have this pressure to be at uni or to have a job because I know in 5 or 10 years time, my mum will probably no longer work and I might not have a roof or even food to eat. My mum makes me so ill. I used to see mental health services, but it always seemed like I was the problem. When I had my mental breakdown and got a manic episode, she made me seem like I was the problem. I was the problematic daughter. But she never let me into her life. Whenever I said that I was tired or sad, she would say "you think you're the only one who's sad" I am getting really sick. I can feel it because I cannot seem to accept the people in my life who care for me. I am worried about them leaving me when they graduate from uni and I am still poor. I feel like people use that victim mentality against you. I also feel like people use things against me a lot. Feels like I have to be normal, but I am dying on the inside.

stress and choosing between two things that are really important to me

replies: 2

so basically i'm a very spiritual person who has this one religious teacher who is coming to Australia next year. this is quite rare and only happens every 2-3 years. they're staying for 4 weeks in town but there are two problems: - the time i want to go is overlapping by a week with schooltime (during the last week of school) and my family thinks i won't be able to handle it because i'd get too stressed, etc. - on the 2-week holidays the day after I'd come back from these teachings, we're going to Japan to see my grandparents but i'm worried it's going to be way too much for me to handle. mainly because my dad doesn't want to take off a day from our holiday for me to re-pack and recuperate once i come back. so i suggested doing it the holidays after that, except he thinks my grandparents are getting 'old,' which is a politically correct term for 'really unhealthy and frail,' and he doesn't want to risk it. of course i don't either and this adds an entirely new level of stress and pain to my situation. i'm so sad because i know they probably don't have a long time left, so i should visit them ASAP, except how am i when i need to go to these teachings, but don't even have a day to repack and everything? i hate travelling and it's going to be awful for me if i have to come back from a flight one day, then leave on another in the next, without having any time to pack or do anything. i know that sounds like a weak reason for getting so stressed out but honestly i hate, hate planes and flying. absolutely can't stand it. it's a 9-hour flight to Japan and that in itself is really hard for me. when i fly i always have to take heavy medication to calm me down. so yes, it's going to be almost impossible for me, let alone the fact that i would have just finished doing truckloads of schoolwork. and that's the other thing. my school is Christian. i'm Buddhist. if i take a week off school for religious reasons, they probably won't give me an extension. no, i'm SURE they won't give me an extension because it's a private school and they don't allow these things. i've heard that once my friend took a week off school for a holiday and the school gave them so much crap for it. it's so hard for me because i know this religious teacher is also quite old and who knows, he may never come back to Australia before he dies. i have no idea. so basically i'm choosing between two sets of people that i both love so much. freaking out over here.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

"Addicted" to a friendship, please help replies: 3

Society Sucks In 2019.. replies: 3

Anxiety after opening up about domestic violence replies: 1

Young mother who is alone. replies: 2

Nothing is helping replies: 1

Feelin like a fako | Why am I so caught up in my own worthless issues? replies: 13

I can't make friends, what's wrong with me? replies: 9

Life is really hard sometimes. replies: 1

I feel sad and it seems like there's no way out replies: 7

stress and choosing between two things that are really important to me replies: 2