Am I Depressed?

[Jordz5853]

Hi everyone

I don't really know what to say but here goes

I've always been the type of person who closes off their emotions and I hardly ever tell anyone how I'm feeling and sometimes I don't even know how to express what I'm feeling at all

Im irritable and I always feel tired and I have a terrible immune system.

My mum and my boyfriend both think that I'm depressed (on and off for a couple of years) and I've done a bunch of tests and they all say there's a chance and I should see a doctor but the thing is I don't know what I'd say

Like if they asked me how I was feeling I wouldn't know what to say because I feel like nothing that bad has ever happened in my life and I have nothing to be sad about

If anyone has been in this kind of situation it would be great to hear your experience because I don't know what to do

[geoff]

hi Jordz, welcome to the site, and you say that you have done many tests on whether or not you could have depression, so in these tests have you done the K-10 test which you can just google and do the test, but it's best to do it several times at different times of the day or when your mood changes.
You don't need something bad to happen because it's such a strong illness and can be built up over a few years, or perhaps by having PTSD which could have happened when your parents broke up.
If you don't feel well, not excited, sleeping too much or not enjoying school and don't want to join in doing what your friends are doing then that's what you say to your doctor, and he may want to get you to do a blood test first and then take it from there.
You could also say that your mum and b/friend have been telling you that you could have depression, so he will then ask you a few questions, but you have to be honest and try not to cover anything up otherwise it's a waste of time, and if you try and hide your depression if that's what he says you, again it's a waste of time, but you will then still struggle along until you accept you have this illness.
It's a private conversation between you and him, and depending on your age your mum may need to know so that if any medication is required she can then get it for you.
Let us know how you get on with the K-10 test. Geoff.

[mixtape]

Jords,

Quite similarly to you, Id be sad for no reason,,, nothing particular would happen, but I would find myself lying on my bed, staring at my ceiling for hours, numb. Sometimes this can be due to chemical imbalances in your brain. For example, for some people its chronic, but for others it can change during the adolescent ages, which is why hardly any teens get proper diagnosis' till 18.

But don't spend time thinking, "what do i have and why do i feel like this"

I mean i know it would be reallllyyyy great to have answers to those questions, and with time, you will get them, and I'm sure there is information on this website that have possible answers for those questions.

However, instead of wondering that, think in the present. Be mindful of now. Even if you don't want to do anything, get up and go watch a sunset. Just because.

Accept that there is this problem, but it doesn't have to control your life.

Something i find helpful that i often think to myself is; "If my mind has the capability to destroy me and create such destructive thoughts, can't it do the exact opposite? Create thoughts so nourishing and fruitful?"

Jords, you gotta allow yourself to be at peace with yourself. To be okay. You gotta tell yourself, "OK i don't like this, i don't like how I'm feeling. I deserve happiness. I deserve to be okay. I want to go out. I want to make memories and live a life worth living."

And even if you don't think that, if you tell yourself enough times, it'll happen. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or in a week or month or year, but it will. I promise you. 🙂

I know you don't feel like seeing a doctor because you don't know what on earth to say, but hey, thats exactly what i did, and 'not knowing' is a valid answer. Its okay to not know what you feel, and its important to acknowledge that all you know is that its not good. I prompt you to see a doctor. Time is valuable.

You're going to be okay.

[SociallyAwkwardGirl]

Jordz,
Now, depression isn't simply "hiding" it has a few common symptoms, which I suggest you have. You close off the emotions, as in not telling anyone, so you're doing a strategy called coke-ing, where its like having a problem, then its like throwing a mentos into coke, and sealing it up, constantly, when later on it will result in explosion, like your feelings.
Now - if you see a doctor, (local doctor, psychologist, therapist etc....) they are surely to determine depression, im not expert, but from your POV you are definitely depressed. An experience I actually did today, was explained my feelings to someone I trust, im uncomfortable with my mum, because I think she would be ashamed, or disappointed, Desperately, if you think help is necessary, I suggest local doctors, thats where you figure it out, and later on, if you become unstable, you might need to turn to psychology, therapy or anti-depressants. Please try and figure it out, before you learn it the HARD way.

Now, if it is suspected, have you read of the booklet of "beyond blue"s anxiety & depression? In the book, it suggests you listen to other peoples suggestion, that you are depressed, because they might have of noticed a minor difference, maybe, have you stopped being interested in certain subjects? No concentration? Eating disorder? (thats fine to have, I have a eating disorder - I eat WAY too much) that's how you tell.
Hopefully I helped 🙂
Sincerely, SociallyAwkwardGirl