am I depressed or overreacting?

[L1]

I'm 15 and in year 10 this year. I don't know if I am depressed or if I am just being silly about this all thinking I'm depressed. 

First of all let me just say I hate school, but not just like every other teenager does, I hate the students, the teachers, and just being there. I've skipped so many days of school not because I don't want to do work, but because I just hate to leave the house. If I could stay at home all day everyday, I honestly would. I also get into trouble at school and I hate it, the other day I skipped a class because I didn't have the energy and I wanted to be by myself and today I had to go see the principal but instead I skipped school, petrified of what would happen and because I love to be by myself in my house.

I usually only get about 7 hours of sleep per night, and I can never wake up on time. I always feel anxious, my heart is always pounding. I just want to scream and cry some of the time.

Im also a dancer, I use to love it, I use to be happy that I had to go to dancing, now Im just over it. I HATE it now, I want to stay home in my room and not do anything. I feel useless, I feel like I don't deserve a chance at life and I feel like I've let a lot of people down and that what I'm doing is wrong.

am I just being paranoid? And I just overreacting? Please help.

[TheSteve]

Hi L1,

Thanks for sharing. 15 is a really tough age - you are no longer a kid, but nowhere near adulthood. It is like an in-between phase, that can be really tricky to navigate. The good news is as your experiences build, you learn ways to get through these emotionally tough times. But often, you need help and guidance as to how best to manage these weeks and months of difficulty.

I'm not a professional and can't provide a diagnosis, but just by listening to what you are experiencing - loss of interest in activities/school; desire to be alone; anxiety; tiredness etc. you may be experiencing some mild/situational form of anxiety or early depression. That is ok, it is not the end of the world it is just the name our society has labeled on a certain state of being, a group of feelings and symptoms thereof. It is ok, and frankly it is better to know what you are dealing with as opposed to having the extra burden of not knowing and constantly questioning yourself.

My suggestion is that you go and see a counselor or therapist, and that you do it now while your feelings are manageable. This is not something you want to leave alone too long, nor just sit back and wish it away. It takes effort to work through these periods of our life, and often times when we come out the other side we are changed people - for the better and typically much more resilient in all facets of life.

You may first wish to see your doctor, explain how you are feeling, and get a physical check up. Then, go and see a counselor. You can speak to your GP about this also, and get a referral. See if your parents can help you with this, should you feel comfortable doing so. Alternatively you can always seek guidance through the school or through YBB Helpline here.

Like I said, don't leave this alone. Take action now. You will be ok. Please keep us in the loop as we are here for you anytime.

Steve