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Why can't I converse anymore

Wanting_to_get_better
Community Member

Hi

i have always been a happy and talkative person and love helping others but over 18 months life has fallen apart

i lost my marriage. I lost my home. I lost my business

im residing with friends with 2 children in my care I function because I have to but I just don't want to talk I'm on meds and go to therapy but to anyone around me now even my kids I just clam up

i want all of this to pass and feel like I am back in control of my life and give my kids their mum back

3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Wanting to get better, I'm so sorry that your post hasn't been answered but I know exactly how you feel.
My wife divorced me and our house had to be sold, and my business had to finish up with 6 months work in front of me, but it's not as awful as what you have had to go through, and I do realise that it can make it very difficult for you to discuss your situation, because it's certainly going to bring you to tears.
I got to the stage where I thought it would be impossible to cry any more, I was wrong, the sadness and depression only increased, and it was difficult talking with anyone even my two sons,
I don't know the circumstances of what has happened so if you want to get back to us then I hope you do.
There seems to be so much that has been going on, which I'm really sorry for, again I apologise for not replying earlier, somehow posts get through the cracks and not picked up until a bit later. Geoff.

Thank you very much for responding I am very greatful

i know there are a lot of people worse off than me and I get that

so much as gone on and I am dealing with each situation as it arises

I think I have lost my confidence and feel very isolated and I just keep seeing everything that has gone

I am happiest when alone as I don't have to talk or when I do have to I continually ask questions to avoid people asking me questions. And then my brain going into an unfocused block and I literally cannot think of anything to talk about.

Im constantly thinking of conversation with my kids in my head and nothing comes naturally. It's all thought about

i keep saying to myself just get it together. But I can't

I'm happy on the surface. Pretending. So I can get through each day. But it's hard and because I don't have any financial security it keeps me in the mode of ' what if and how. Can I get back to where I was'

hi Wanting to get better, there are always other people worse off than ourselves, but that's not the point, you have to look at your own situation and that's what counts, we aren't talking about their concerns but only yours and that's what is so much more important.
In your position you will lose your confidence, I was no different, I remember when I was told to build a rabbit's cage as a gesture for someone, something which wouldn't take long at all, but it took my weeks, I couldn't finish it, I didn't want to complete it, it was too much an effort.
It's not easy to have a conversation with your kids, simply because you pretend that everything is OK, but it's definitely not, and to carry on talking with them is so difficult, it's a false conversation, although maybe your kids seem to be happy that it's happening, for you it's hard work.
I know that what you have lost is an enormous disappointment, and I can truly understand that and definitely feel so sorry for you, but it doesn't make you a failure, circumstances may have caused it, but it still means that you are a father to two children who must dearly love you and don't like to be in the middle of this.
Slowly try and gain your confidence back with them and if you can do this then that's an important start. Geoff.