Unsure

[Mdn]

Hi, am new on here. Bit unsure of how it works

[geoff]

hello Mdn, welcome to the site, it's not easy to know what to say or what to do and may feel a bit worried about to say, well all you have to do is tell us what you are concerned about or what you maybe suffering from, it's an anonymous site, if you like you can place an avatar under your Mdn but not everybody wants to do this so that certainly doesn't matter.
What you can start off doing is just continue on from this comment, then people who have been through similar or the same situation will reply back to you, offering advise but definitely wanting to help you. Geoff.

[Guest_9809]

Hello Mdn and welcome to the Beyondblue Forums.

Geoff has already welcomed you and explained how the forums work. You have done exactly the right thing by opening an introductory thread in the Welcome and Orientation section of our forums. Thats where most new members start. Your next step is to go back into your thread and reply with some more details which will assist other members to respond to you further.

Perhaps you can include what it is that you are experiencing right now, for example depression, anxiety or stress. And also a little bit about whether you are seeing anybody to help you currently or in the past. Please also tell us what you expect or want from the Forum community - do you need advice about something specific, or do you require ongoing support and guidance from others who are experiencing the same difficulties as you are? Knowing a little more about you will encourage other members to connect with you and respond.

You can be quite open in your replies Mdn as this site is moderated to ensure our ongoing safety and anonymity. If you havent already done so, you will find it helpful to take a look at the following information for new members (google the following):

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/community-rules

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/newbies-guide-5-tips-for-getting-the-most-out-of-the-forums-(updated)

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/forums-etiquette-give-support-to-receive-support

Those sections will explain how the Forums work and how you can get the most from them. You will find that the members here are very helpful, understanding and supportive. Remember that we are all the same here - we each live with anxiety and depression. Alongside appropriate professional help, peer support is a very important factor in helping us overcome our mental health struggles.

I hope to hear back from you.

Taurus

[startingnew]

hello

i think both Geoff and Taurus have offered great insight

i just wanted to pop in and say welcome 🙂

[Mdn]

Hi

Was quite young when one of my parents attempted suicide, my parents got divorced soon after. I lost contact with my father soon after, as I wanted to show my mum as much support as possible.

I walked away from something great that I worked hard for for 3 years rather than letting them help and support me.

I just i'm not exactly sure how to get over this completely. Ive use exercising as it helps to get rid of all the frustartion. It helps as you can run untill your legs give out from under you without having to worry that you will get rejected

[Guest_9809]

Hello Mdn. I'm really pleased to see that you have responded by telling us a little more about yourself.

It sounds as though you've had quite a traumatic youth, as well as dealing with the issues surrounding your parents divorce. Its well known that this can impact quite strongly, both at the time, and often well into our adult lives.

Sometimes professional help is required to help deal with this. Have ever had any couselling or therapy with a psychologist? This can be the catalyst to self discovery and acceptance, followed by recovery. If you havent already done so, I would urge you to talk to your GP who can set up a suitable treatment plan.

I dont understand what it is that you worked hard for over 3 years, only to subseqently walk away from. Whatever it was, it was obviously something you valued and which you now miss and regret having let go. If you'd like to talk more about it, then please do so. It may be possible that this 'something great' can be reclaimed or revisited, that it may not be entirely lost to you.

Have you ever been formally diagnosed with either an anxiety or a depressive illness Mdn? It would help me to know that, so I can give appropriate advice and suggestions.

You mention in your post today that you worry about rejection. Have you experienced rejection in your life? Rejection can take many forms, for example: romantic relationships, feeling rejected by a parent or sibling, social rejection, etc. Most people will feel rejected in some way at some stage of their life. Unfortunately when we fear rejection, we start to avoid situations where we may again face the pain of rejection, and this means we can miss out on things in life.

There are some self help methods we can all use to improve our own wellbeing of both our minds, and our bodies. One of those is definitely exercise, so you're doing well there. Hopefully you can continue with that, and add some additional things which may help.

Its very important to maintain good physical health, to eat well and get proper nutrition and to get adequate sleep. Other things you can add to your daily routine are: mindfulness, meditation, yoga or tai chi and spending time on hobbies or activities that you enjoy.

Mdn please be patient with yourself, listen to your mind and body, take small steps, allow others to support you, and acknowledge your successes along the way.

I hope you will post again with further information which will help other posters reply to you also.

Taurus

[Mdn]

Hi Taurus

A few months after my parents divorce I was diagnosed with mild depression. I did not talk about it at all at the time. I was ok about it for years. My mum remaried shortly after, her husband is great and raised my as his own child. He really was like my own father. I have so much to be greatful for and really tried to not complain about it, but I was not fair in my behaviour as I hardly spoke to them and if I did I was angry. I cut ties with my grandparents on my fathers side for several years, I reconnected with them. It was so great, before I got the chance to tell them that it was nothing they did wrong that caused my to break contact I lost my grandmother.

I wanted make peace with it myself and did not want to take time off of work and did not go to the duneral, and feel really quilty about not going.

I really enjoy exercise as I said it helps alot to get rid of frustration, and I love horses and try to go out for a horse ride every chance I get. I have been refered to a psychologist. I felt a little bit embarrest though.

Iam not sure if this can class as rejection though, but I was teased and make fun of in school quite often. My brother was vert vert popular and even teacher's compared us all the time, I just got tired of trying to everything as good as he did.

Mdn

[geoff]

hello Mdn, it would be so upsetting to see one of your parents attempt to end their life,but there must have been unknown reasons why, just as there is for losing contact with your dad.
When your mum remarried it's good that he treated you as one of his family but to you it's not the same as having your real dad, these two are completly different people, so you lost contact with your g/parents and didn't feel as though you were able to communicate with your mum and her new husband, making him your step dad, this is when you had already started to crawl into a hole.
Many people don't like going to funerals, that's only how they feel and we can never criticise them for not going and now that you were visiting the black dog that's quite understandable.
You know you are still struggling within yourself and by referred to a psychologist only means that you need to talk about what's been going on, and never ever feel afraid, worried or guilty in doing so, no one needs to know only if you are underage.
Lots of people just like myself have been to a psychologist, yes I was afraid at first, but that soon dwindle away, because I knew she was helping me, but with depression you may go along and have 4 or 6 months feeling on top of the world, but that doesn't mean you won't fall back into the hole, it's possible, and it has for me several times, but after each time I come out a much stronger person, simply because I have learnt that some particular trigger will set me off again, so I avoid that situation.
Please don't worry. Geoff.