This is an excerpt from my 19 self during my bipolar. Did you ever write anything like this?
It was called “the book you I’ll ever need”.
This is not a home just a temporary house. Home is what you want it to be, a place of ease and comfort that lovingly welcomes you regardless of your circumstances. Most of my garden is not mine when an unidentifiable seed is casually planted with my struggling plants that grow in pots. I am powerless. Cannot drive, ride a bike, I can only all and when I get approached they are confused on how to take me one. Instead of sugar in my cup it is salt. I am sick of the lies, backstabbing, gossiping, betrayal and ill-advised advice. NO. I do not have a Jon or any govt. welfare benefit - they are loose cannot say mad and crazy they make me feel. Not worth a breath. I am tired of waking up each day. I am scared of myself. I feel like I can keep doing things like when I was 17 years old and younger consumed by the darkness felling emotionally alone. I had no real stable relationships because I i still had to keep fighting for that tines, minuscule drop of attention. This is what hurts me and I see it and live in it, stop doubting me: I will prove you wrong even if I _ _ _ Just to prove you wrong because you never had the the guts to believe in me - not once. Not once. If you did you would not feel that I am all talk and no walk. Stoping trying you are just, correct and right there is nothing to prove - not to me anyway. I believe you, I am listening and trying as best as I can to understand you. I mean it.
i am going to end it at here I’m not sure if anyone would like to read the rest I just wonder if I could write about how I feel now...it shocks me what up e written
e.g. “Not everyone knows where and when and what they want to do, seem, learn and live happily with. People are still figuring it out.
e,g if you have dreams and you want them, what is stopping you ? Reach for it! Listen to your heart, mind and soul. If you can convince youself.... you are bound to find someone see that straight away