The Future

[Homebrew]

It is really hard to write for the first time. But I assume most of you found it  as difficult as I am, if not worse. Please allow me a few lenience's though if I transgress on the protocol.

   I find the most difficult part, is to contain the urge to just pour everything out and ramble on, as I am starting to do now. I find that rambling buries the problems that i don't want to tell or face.

I was first in contact with Beyond Blue in 2020 / 2021, I had a long talk with "Millicent" I believe, she was wonderful, and suggested i I contact my GP and arrange for psychiatric help, which I did. 

 To put it bluntly, I have lost the future somewhere over the past 4 or 5 years. I have been going to  psychiatrists for some time. Quite honestly, they don't seem to work, it's not their fault, as I just find it impossible to be completely open. I have  a few embarrassing hidden secrets, that i find hard to divulge.

   I  find it much easier to talk to a female than a male, but still can't open up totally even in private.

I find it easier to answer questions, than pose them. 

I apologize, if this not how a newbie should start. 

[Whatsinaname]

Welcome,

There is no right or wrong way to introduce yourself and don't worry about rambling, there is plenty of people here to listen.

I also find it hard to open up about everything and I'm sure there is a lot of people in the same boat.

Have you ever tried guided meditation? I find it invaluable for when my mind is doing loops.

Wishing you the best!

[Homebrew]

Many thanks. Don't think me stupid, but what is guided meditation?

[Whatsinaname]

Essentially it is someone who talks you through how to meditate and help you stay "focused"

Meditation is to try and help you get used to have thoughts and feels but realising you can separate yourself from them. Sorry to anyone who knows how to explain it better but that is my use of it. Many people use it for many different reasons.

Try looking at the app Insight Timer, it has a huge amount of free meditations. 

If it's your first time, don't be surprised when you struggle to maintain focus, but it is a slow practice that can really help.

[Homebrew]

Many Many Thanks   I have downloaded Inside Timer. I did the first breathing lesson this morning.

Beautiful background music, will give it my best shot.  I will try anything at the moment.

[Whatsinaname]

Just don't be hard on yourself, its really hard to begin with. I have intrusive thoughts so find it difficult, but when it quietness even just a little it can bring at least a small part of relief. 

Also, I'd be a miss to mention, be sure to try different Therapist. I went through 4 or 5 before I found one I was comfortable with.

Best of luck!

[Homebrew]

I have had 3 psychologists so far, 1 male and 2 female, the last being a male who was cost ME $140.00 a session, twice a month, I believe Medicare covered another $100'00+ per.  I  realize I went into the wrong career as a plain ordinary simple mech eng.   I have never really understood the difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a psychotherapist and councilor, I believe they all just sit there and prompt you to come up with the answers!   See I am rambling again.

Thanks for your advice.       Can I do anything for you? 

[Homebrew]

I forgot to add. My belief really is a councilor often gives more concrete guidance and help than anybody. 

I appreciate the fact that they can sometimes be firm with you. 

[fuzzyduck]

I really think I feel more ready in the morning now, to face the day positively After 20 minutes just feeling the calm of the meditation envelops me. I don't want a confrontation today. I don't want a confrontation please But it happens. within an hour or so normally, I have done something wrong.  What does one do. retreat into isolation, I am married. 55 years. But I am sick of always taking the blame for everything.