Taking the first steps...
dear Lilyana, I am so pleased that you have decided to post your comment, and firstly can I say that how you are feeling is exactly how most of us have had to endue through our life and struggle with depression.
Even though I know how you feel it's great that now you are keen to tackle this battle, where some people can or will overcome it without much ease, while others struggle so much along the way, and no one could ever predict how someone will recover, because it's virtually impossible to say.
I know that you must be feeling a bit nervous in posting your first comment and congratulate for doing so, but this is maybe why your post doesn't give us much to work on.
I only say this because there could be so many issues that you are struggling with, so we could go off and reply to you, but this could only be assuming the wrong idea or not the appropriate approach to what is hurting you, so I really do hope that you can come back to us.
Don't forget that this site is anonymous, so none of us don't know who you are or what you look like, so please can you trust us to try and help you. Geoff.
It is nice to meet you, and thanks for sharing part of your story with us. As Geoff says, we would love to be able to help you in any way we can, and learning more about your situation is key to this.
I'm glad you are up for the journey. Learning to get past the feelings you are experiencing is very, very much achievable especially given you have jumped on it early. It is a journey of self discovery, of learning, of acquiring knowledge, of compassion, of empathy. It is very rewarding and worthwhile. It is something that will stay with you and allow you to influence and help others. It is something that requires a physical and emotional inventory, no stone left unturned.
We are here for you whatever you need. All the best.