sorry if wrong place to post... autism and depression/anxiety

[floydoss]

like i said sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, but i wasnt sure where to put it.

i was born with high functioning autism and in the last few years my dr informed me that i have depression and have probably had it in her opinion since i was a young child, being autistic i struggle with social and emotional situations and have learnt the last few years just how differently my brain thinks and reacts which makes it hard to explain to people what my problems are.

i worked for a few years and hated it, i seem to only be happy when im home with my dogs and partner (yes somehow i found someone that cares about me even if i am a social outcast), whenever i leave the house i immediately go down hill mentally, i can barley last half an hour before i get very angry and short tempered and have the urge to rush home, which i am told is a sign of sever anxiety. as you can imagine working 8 hour shifts was horrible and i was near physical/mental collapse by the time it was over, i became very suicidal last year deciding that if this is what life is i would rather not have it... luckily i have people that care about me and tried to help me and convinced me to see a psychiatrist. my psychiatrist told me after many hours of sessions that my depression/anxiety is actually caused by my autism so unlike most people it can never really be cured since there is no cure for autism, so he convinced me to go to centerlink and try to get the disability pension so that i can stay home and have some quality of life, which i tried back in September last year, took months of doing rediculas amounts of paper work with the help of my family and as of yesterday i was rejected. my psychiatrist wants to speak to someone at centerlink because i dont think they understand that my depression is caused by autism, and they seem to think it can be treated and without depression i can work with my autism so they say i can be reskilled. esentially the entire idea of having to work again makes me want to die, ive been home for months and have never enjoyed my life more but everytime i hear from centerlink they ruin my mood up for a good week and this last one has destroyed me. currently waiting for centerlink social worker to hopefully help me appeal.

sorry for the long rant i just didnt know who to tell this to and what to do.. im so done at this point

[Sophie_M]

Hi floydoss,

Thank you for taking the brave step of sharing this with us here today. We know it isn't easy but it is so important. You have come to a safe and non-judgmental space where members of our valued forums community give and receieve support based on their own, often very similar, expereinces with mental health.

We're sorry to hear you've been brought so low by bureaucracy. We're here to give you as much support, advice and conversation as you need. Please know there is always helpo available to you. We ecnourage you to reach out to our support service who offer advice, some counselling and referrals appropriate to you. They're available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via webchat from 3pm-midnight every day via https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support. If you feel you're reaching a crisis point, you can always call our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Please check in and let us know how you're getting on whenever you feel up to it.

[Croix]

Dear Floydoss

I would like to welcome you here too. This is a friendly place and people are not stereotyped which is what the government does.

Centrelink is an extremely difficult and depressing organisation to deal with and can seem blind to the most obvious. The fact you have psychiatrist on your side and willing to speak to them is a hopeful sign. If your psych thought it worth-while to get a 2nd opinion to exactly confirm his own diagnosis then you would be in an excellent position for your appeal.

Yes, any dealings with them will set you back, and keep on and on in your mind, they can literally be a source of trauma in themselves. If you start to feel overwhelmed and it is not worth going on, as you did before, then ring the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who I have found a comfort in the past.
Another time we might talk abut a safety plan full of nice things to do but for now may I suggest that you organize your day so that every evening you have something you do - just for you.
Something to take your mind away from ordinary life, and something to look forward to each day. I have found this helps long-term. I use movies and books and comics/graphic novels, I do not know what you might like - anything at all you enjoy will do.

Your partner and your dogs sound lovely, and I would imagine make all the difference. I am similarly blessed with Sumo Cat, Foxy Dog and Mrs C. (She goes crook if I call her Mrs Walrus).
Please do not call yourself a social outcast, you are not. Being able to work or not is only one small thing in a person’s makeup. Returning love is more important in reality, as are so many other things.

If you have trouble explaining things at times those who care will have the patience to help, and in all probability will know your mood or what you are trying to say anyway.

We care and will always listen. Please come back and say how you are getting on

Croix

[InhaleExhale]

Hi Floydoss,

Thanks for telling us your story, I hope that you feel comfortable and come back to let us know how you are going.

You mentioned that since you’ve been at home, you’ve never enjoyed your life more. It makes me smile to imagine you pottering around with you dogs for company, relaxed and content. I have a hound at home and he bring so much joy into our lives.

Autism definitely has a very valid and huge impact on your life. I understand that it’s very common to have difficulty going out, socially interacting and keeping a mask on every moment while you are work. It makes sense that this would have a huge negative impact on your mental health.

It’s great to hear that you have the support of your psychiatrist. Centrelink is definitely soul draining for those with mental health issues. I know that your interactions with Centrelink take a week to recover from but I encourage you to keep trying if you think this is what’s best for you. If possible, maybe a family member could support you or take over some of the interactions. It sounds like your family has helped with the paperwork previously which is great. Best of luck for the appeal.

The forums are a safe place to ‘rant’ (don’t apologise) and we’d love to hear back from you.

InhaleExhale

[floydoss]

thank you, i actually feel much better now that its been a few days, i have appealed the decision and decided to plant a new garden which is doing well. me and my three dogs have been playing none stop which has been great, for now im able to just ignore centerlink untill they do whatever it is they do and focus on myself

[InhaleExhale]

Hi Floydoss,

I'm super glad to hear you are feeling much better. Three dogs! The more the merrier. I only have one at the moment but would love to increase my pack. I can’t imagine all the dog food you must go through.

Gardening is also very therapeutic, there is something about digging in soil that helps to destress.
If anything else comes up, please check back in. I might see you around on the forums.

InhaleExhale.