Seperation after 20yrs of marrage

[troyh]

How do you move on after being with someone for 20yrs.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It is hard. My relationships lasted 7,11,10 years and now married the 2nd time for 12 years happily. Those 3 prior ones were all tough especially the 2nd one with 2 small kids involved. In fact I made an attempt on my life then one week later left the home. My father had previously told me "better to be a part time dad than no dad at all"

So I set about changing my life the 1st night I was solo. Bought land, build my own kit home etc. Was so busy that my grief drifted away and being busy is one answer to that grief, which in the early weeks/months, is unavoidable.

Hobbies, sports, interests all play a part. But one thing is certain, you will survive this and you'll look back likely to feel that you are happier. The heart rules the head until then.

So how are you feeling now?

Here is a post I recommend reading.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-best-praise-you-ll-ever-get/td-p/134999

I'm here daily.

TonyWK

[Mark Z.]

Hi troy,

I'm sorry to hear about your recent separation. Moving on after being with someone for 20 years is undoubtedly a significant challenge.

I think the most important thing is to focus on your physical and mental health. It's important to be kind to yourself during this time. You can try to engage in activities like exercise or meditation. It's natural to experience a range of emotions such as sadness, anger, or confusion, you need to give yourself more time, and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship.

And then, take this time to rediscover yourself as well as reconnect with the community. For example, what brings you joy and satisfaction outside of the relationship. Also spend time with people who care about you and make you feel valued, this can provide a sense of belonging and support.

Hope everything will be better.

Warmly,

Mark

[narnia_rocks]

I am sad to read about your xperience. My wife left me 7 years ago and it was like a death to me, in the way it happened. I have dealt with most of the grief in monthly counselling with a trained counsellor. And the support of my church family and friends. And journaling. And calling Beyond Blue on the phone occasionally.

[quirkywords]

Troyh

you have been given great advice from other people here.

i think one step at a time and be kind to yourself.