Seeking advice

[Mi_]

Hi, this is my first post about me, and I have some questions. I've had bouts of depression and anxiety on and off for about 20 years. For the last year and a half I've tried to do something about it. So, I found a great doctor, found a psychologist, and so everything should be great right? Well not so much. The last 2 months for no real reason, my depression is back with a vengeance... My meds just aren't working, but I couldn't bring myself to tell my doctor...and my psychologist thinks I'm doing OK... Which is far from the truth. If you haven't guessed already, I'm a total people pleaser, so I put up an everything is awesome front... I can't seem to work up the courage to say.... I'm not doing so well, despite what you see on the outside... Thanks for listening

[RandR]

Hi Mi,
My first post about myself was fairly recent as well so I commend your courage. My position is somewhat different from yours as I had suffered major depression for 12 years without seeing a psychologist or being on medication. That being said, I'm sure I can relate to the waves of that feeling, especially when it comes back with a vengeance. What's also interesting is that like you, I am a people pleaser too! A social butterfly, extrovert and a front better than a steel poker face (well at least I used to be when I had depression). I'm sorry to hear that things are not great. I'm not sorry to see that you have reached out to see if anyone is listening. My only advice is that you be honest to yourself first and only you. You can't help anyone until you help yourself. You will always be your best friend and your worst enemy. There is always in my experience a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The Doctors and Psychologist are your confidants. Not telling them your position could hinder future sessions with them and in some instances, the side effects. It took me 12 years to tell even the closest of friends and friendship circles that I suffered major depression for 12 years. Truth be told, only one of them picked it and knew. The others had no idea. You might not have mustered up the courage to tell your friends that you are not doing so well, however, you have mustered up the courage to post via Beyond Blue and regardless how you've gone about it, communication is communication 🙂
I wish you all the very best and feel free to message or contact me if you need an ear or person to speak with. I can say with great assurance that I intimately know the feeling 🙂

[geoff]

hi Mi, can I say that being a 'people's pleaser' will always come off second best, and I say this because all you do is want to help other people, but in turn their help for you won't be there, and they won't be there for when you want need.
Unfortunately you are only kidding yourself when you go and see your doctor, plus the psychologist when you don't open up to them.
These professionals would undoubtedly know that you are not telling them the truth, but they won't question what you have said or why, what they need is for their patient to be honest, otherwise you might as well sign the form and give them the money before you go in.
Truly this isn't going to help you, because you can't keep lying to them, because if you do there maybe a specific time when you need them but they won't be there to help you.
I hate to be cruel but have you heard of the boy who cried wolf, please don't let this happen to you. Geoff.

[The_Possum]

Hey there

I really can't stress enough how important it is to speak up to your doctor about medication.

I was on an antidepressant which was just horrible for me, it didn't do anything and actually made me feel worse.

I did speak up about it, and long story short, my diagnosis changed and so did my medication!

The change I felt was immense, and wouldn't have been achieved if I wasn't honest with the medical profession.

I know it's scary. I know it's easier to bury your head in the sand. I know the unknown and all these medications can be overwhelming but there comes a time you have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask 'is this how I want to spend the rest of my life?!'

Because you don't have to live like this, but only you can step up and make the change.

Goodluck x