HI Denice,
I want to start by saying please do not apologise for 'not being intelligent enough' because that is very unhelpful thinking. And I bet you wouldn't talk you your friends like that!
Perhaps a way of getting past at least a little of your depression is to stop comparing yourself with others; we are all unique with our own set of strengths and challenges.
Have you ever heard the saying "If you spend you life judging a fish on its ability to climb a tree, you will be terribly disappointed."? ...... well, that's almost what it means when comparing ourselves with others. Some are like 'fish' who can 'swim really well' and others are like 'greyhounds' who can 'run really well', but we are not all fish, and not all greyhounds!
As you can probably see by my name - soberlicious - I am a sober person. Twenty two years now, in fact, since I have drank alcohol. And I can tell you that I am certainly not the person I used to be in my drunkenness. But one of the things that really helped me to get well (among many things) was when I stopped comparing my insides to everybody else's outsides ...... because when I did that, I always came off second best.
The only fair comparison I can make, is to compare myself now, to how I used to be. I am some days dong well, other says feeling challenged. But definitely doing far better ...... and I mean FAR better, than I ever did in drink.
Anyway, if you need a safe space to get things off your mind, then well done on coming here because that's what we're here for.
Hope that helps a little. Take care. xo
