Psychosis

[tornadolover]

I ended up going through drug induced psychosis about 4 years ago and it has forever changed my life...i'm wondering if any of you have gone through psychosis and how you have got through it? I still struggle with knowing what was real and what was not real with my experience...i never thought i'd go through anything like that, but i did, i just want to go back to the person i was before i went through that roller coaster ride....can anyone else relate and have any advice on how to let all the thoughts and beliefs go? I remember everything in detail so vividly and i wish i could just move on from it, but me and my overthinking brain wants to make sense of what i went through and can't let it go....i will leave it here and hope to hear from anyone on this matter...thanks for taking the time to read this 🙂 

[PattoSturm]

Hello! I have been clean from hard drugs for 4 years now, if not longer. I still go through psychosis at least once per week. I had a major depressive episode on Thursday including alcohol and negative thoughts. I also don't know HOW to do what I am supposed to do. I am supposed to rewire my brain to include more positivity and less negativity. It is not easy. I lost my relationship as a result.

I have a nearly 3 year old son and I consider myself so lucky because I get to be a part of his life and my ex and I are co-parenting. I have it better than most and still cannot be happy. I often wonder if he is better off without me and on that Thursday, I had everything ready to go to say good bye. I wrote my letters, I left / allocated parting gifts and thankfully, I took a photo of my son with me for my walk.

The photo kept me alive. Not to be dramatic but it did. There is obviously something or someone keeping you going. Do you mind explaining what that is? I can then remind you of it later maybe 🙂

[tornadolover]

Hey thanks heaps for your response to my message 🙂 that is amazing that you've been clean from hard drugs for over 4 years now!!! That is an incredibly massive achievement, you should be so proud of yourself! I'm so sorry to hear you go through psychosis weekly though, that must be very distressing, may i ask what do you go through with your psychosis? Like what kind of thoughts and beliefs do you go through? Oh nooooo at having a major depressive episode on Thursday!!! Our brains can really take us to some very dark places hey!? It is incredibly hard to rewire the brain, i can understand how you lost your relationship due to this, everyday i stress about how my mental health may affect my boyfriend, i don't want to bring him down or hurt him in any way, he has never experienced psychosis so it's hard to talk to him about it, so i end up bottling things up inside and that just causes me more harm...i feel no one can understand unless they have gone through something similar...

That's great that you have a 3 year old son, life is hard, and it can be so hard to be happy in a world like this with wars and all kinds of crazy things going on...try not to be too hard on yourself there, you are doing the best you can with what you have got...wow it sounds like you really were struggling badly on Thursday, i don't think it's dramatic taking a pic of your son and it helping you stay alive, i think that's great you have a reason to stay alive! Guilt is what keeps me going, i don't want to end my life and hurt the ones i love, being my family and boyfriend, i don't really have friends that i talk to on a regular basis anymore, i have isolated myself over these years, so it's hard, i'm here for everyone else for their need, not for my own...i try not to think about ending my life, but sometimes it creeps up in the form of intrusive thoughts, thankfully i have enough strength not to act on them, however you give me more than 3 alcoholic beverages and that can change very quickly...so i rarely drink and when i do its usually no more than 2 drinks...i wish we didn't have to suffer like this, it's really just so awful and we don't deserve to go to hell and back constantly...we are fighters that's for sure! We go to battle everyday in our mind and for the most part we win but sometimes it gets too heavy hey?! 

[BB21]

Hi,

I have been through psychosis as well. In my case it was trauma induced, which caused me to have episodes. I was looking for help and felt God was talking to me, so I suffered a lot. I found it extremely hard initially. One thing I would recommend is to never believe hallucinations can be real. It can be tricky but by holding on to this thought firmly and practising, you can get through it. I would recommend stopping all consumption of alcohol, (and if you are on drugs then that too) as they sway our thoughts making recovery more difficult. Please have your medications. I know it is difficult, as they make changes to your brain which from documentaries and anecdotes I have read they cause severe changes which the psychiatrists would not know/care of. Pharmaceutical companies want repeat customers over cure, but we have to live with it. If you stop your medication, then it will have an adverse reaction due to medicine withdrawal symptoms (look them up online). Exercise regularly. For your own life and for others around you, try and control your behaviour outside (as in actions of the body) and  once you have mastered it work on the inside. Have a very healthy diet. I also tried meditation and yoga (pranayam yoga is very good for this), which helped me a lot. I know it is hard to distinguish what is a thought and what is a hallucination, never give up. Think that there are people suffering even more worse things than you. I have been extremly well for years now, and I hope the advice above will help you. All the best.

[tornadolover]

I'm sorry to hear you also went through psychosis and that it was trauma induced 😞 I can imagine that would be really difficult to deal with...it's funny you mention you thought God was talking to you...I had something similar happen during my episode, in the end I ended up thinking I was Jesus, pretty intense, i still question if I am or not, I've never been religious at all, so this was quite bizarre to have these thoughts, I looked into it and it is quite common strangely enough for people who go through psychosis to think they are Jesus, I'm more curious now as to why that happens to people, especially those who aren't religious...it kind of fascinates me! I agree with you not to feed into the hallucinations and that will help to get through it...I haven't touched drugs since my episode and have no plans to return to it when i'm off my meds....I have 2 weeks of meds left until I have done my 2 year sentence (lol it really has felt like a jail sentence in a sense for me)...these meds cause more harm than good for me, and i'm ready to return to the person I was before i started these poisonous pills, they have taken so much away from me 😞 I'll be honest, i'm a little concerned and nervous about the withdrawals coming off them, but i know i'll get through it and a better life is waiting for me. I exercise fairly regularly and try to eat healthy (my diet consists of carbs lol which i'm trying to cut back on for weight loss) I need to get back into meditation, my brain is so active all day it's hard to calm it and focus, which is so frustrating and it takes alot out of me to the point i need to nap through the day, but the meds wont let me nap through the day ugh! I'm so glad to hear that you have been extremely well for years, and your advice has helped me 🙂 thank you for taking the time to respond to my post, i feel less alone 🙂 i really appreciate it! I'll have to look into pranayam yoga, i've never heard of it, thank you again, really means the world to me your advice! It is working wonders for you by the sounds of it 😄 take care xo

[Tibby23]

I recently admitted myself into a mental health ward.  Severe depression and anxiety.  My psychiatrist tried me on mood stabilisers and that gave me awful side effects.  Then tried me on ADD meds and that didn’t work. I was put on strong relaxants. I felt like I was a zombie and nothing felt real.  I don’t know how I functioned for a month.   I know how you feel.  It’s a horrible feeling and I’m still getting over it   I’m on antidepressants now. I have some brain fog but not as bad as I was.