Newbie here - not sure where to start...

[Amelin_21]

Hi everyone, I'm not entirely sure where to start or how to let this flow but i'm going to give it a try 🙂

Mid 2021 was my breaking point. I have been working from home for over 2 years now and have been through moments of routine, no routine, not getting out of PJs, wearing ugg boots 24/7, all of it. I have never experienced anxiety before (that I have been aware of) and generally held a balanced, healthy lifestyle pre-covid.

But last year I all of a sudden had a few moments where I started panicking about things that could happen (like my husband having a horrible car accident, my own mortality thinking I wouldn't make it past 32 and even when it rained I thought we would be flooded out, even though we're on a high side) and I couldn't shake them off - to the point where I would actually drive with my husband places because I was worried if I didn't he wouldn't make it home and I would get up to turn the water tank on just in case.

Initially, I had so many symptoms like, complete body tingles, numbness, dizziness, shortness of breath, heavy chest feeling and tight muscles that I thought I was having a heart attack. Fast forward a little, I had all the tests (scans, ECG, blood tests, lung/asthma test) and there is nothing physically wrong with me with the exception of maybe acid reflux. I know (now) severe reflux can make you short of breath but it doesn't explain all my other symptoms (which have calmed down a bit thanks to change of diet / routine but I still get a tight back, breathlessness a lot). I'm a little better now but I am only just starting to explore the possibility that my issues are all stemming from anxiety. I have reflux tablets and still get symptoms. I feel like i'm a little slow on the uptake of this now that i'm starting to look into it more.

I've tried meditation, focusing on activities like playing music, running, reading, even cleaning but they don't always work and sometimes I feel worse afterwards like my body hasn't been able to relax or switch off so it adds to my existing stress. I'll admit, I am an over-thinker and will worry about ridiculous things but I am lucky enough to be able to vent to my husband but, it's obviously not enough.

I guess, i'm wondering what other people's symptoms have been, at what point did they realise symptoms were driven by anxiety (or not) and what have people done to help them realise when symptoms start to pop up to ensure they get on top of it before it becomes too much to handle.

TIA xx

[Sophie_M]

Hey TIA,

Welcome to the forums, and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We can hear how difficult the past couple years have been, we’re so sorry that’s been going on.

It sounds like you’ve taken some really good steps in learning about your physical symptoms. It’s important to be kind to yourself while you figure out what works for you in managing this, and we think sharing here is a really good way to find understanding.

If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636. The counsellors can be good to talk to right in the midst of the anxiety symptoms. You can also reach them via Online Chat here (11am-midnight AEDT).

We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. We understand you might have been through some of these in the past and it might feel like cold comfort right now, but they’re here in case they do pique your interest:

• Some strategies for managing anxiety
• This previous thread where community members shared what physical feelings of anxiety some have experienced
• Another existing thread where community members have shared some of the things that have helped them to manage anxiety

Thanks again for sharing, TIA. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[geoff]

Hello TIA, if possible could you please have a read of 'intrusive thoughts' either by typing it in the above search bar and/or by googling it, this may be of some benefit for you and then get back to us.

Geoff.

[Amelin_21]

Thank you for the helpful directions!

Geoff, I've thought (and lightly joked before in my life-many times) I have a bit of OCD - I know I was naive when saying this recently (and to anyone with OCD I probably frustrate them by saying that) but reading up on it actually makes sense!

I am reflecting on my day-to-day actions and thoughts at the moment. I realise that on top of my fears and thoughts that have led me to where I am now, I actually count in my head when I do everyday actions like stacking a dishwasher or gardening, and I can't have the TV volume on an odd number. It's not for everything but the more I think about it, the more I realise how often I do these things. So these 'little things' on top of the recent thoughts of dread and fear are just mounting on me and they've gone unmanaged for so long,it's become more serious to a point where panic attacks started to occur - something I've never really experienced before. It seems i'm only getting worse and these thoughts and actions are daily.

I've found a couple of helpful looking worksheets online for intrusive thoughts that i'm going to start working through and see how I go from there. Atleast I can take this information to my GP so we can work through it 🙂

I'm going to have a look at some of the forums around intrusive thoughts and OCD too. It's good to know that others have been where I am now but have found a way to maintain it.

I can't thank you enough 🙂

[Learn to Fly]

Hi Amelin_21,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. And really well done on trying to steer through it and already taking steps towards the improvement! It takes a lot of self-work to get to the point of realisation and even more to start to do something about it, like asking for help, doing research, trying on recommended techniques. Truly well done!

[Amelin_21]

Thank you for the encouragement. It has been hard to get to this point. I've been in denial clearly for some time thinking the things I did weren't that serious compared to others. It also doesn't help that most of my family are not as open to understanding mental health. But I am getting there and always like to understand why and how things happen so doing the research is actually calming to me 🙂

One of the things that have helped me most so far has been to write things down. It seems to help me from getting overwhelmed with my thoughts and slow things down.

Hopefully I will continue to make progress and get on top of this.