New to this forum

[Rach05]

Hi. I'm a mum of 4 children under 7 (a seven year old. Twin 5 year olds and a three year old that is going through the process of getting an Autism diagnosis. My husband and I have lived away from family for 7 years. During this time, my husband has suffered from depression and been on medication for that on and off. I started taking in too in January as I have struggled since finding out about my sons Autism and wondering how I would cope on my own. But my husband has recently stopped taking his antidepressants again. And he has gone back to being incredible critical, putting me down and speaking negatively to me in front of the children, putting women down and myself. He is unhelpful and believes that women should do all the housework, cooking and child rearing on her own. While I am capable of doing all these things, I find it hard to get through the day when I am put down and don't have a good relationship with him anymore. It is our 10th wedding anniversary in a month...and it's at the point where I don't want to celebrate it with him. I know he works so hard at his job but I feel lonely. And having little children is a hard thing to cope with without it being a team effort. This has become 100% worse since him stopping his medication and at least he is enjoyable to be around normally. How do I encourage him to start taking it again? It's been around 3-4 weeks since he stopped taking it...which he didn't consult me with even though he has had to be on it for over the 7 years and has tried to come off it before. I want to have a good relationship with him but I am feeling like if he wants to choose to be without medication, I am not sure how our relationship will survive long term. Any encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

[blondguy]

Hi Rach

A Warm Welcome to the forums...I am Paul and will try to help..

I am sorry that you are so isolated now especially when you need the support from your husband which has vanished. The recent diagnosis you have received about your son would be incredibly painful. If I may quote something you mentioned........" gone back to being incredible critical, putting me down and speaking negatively to me in front of the children"

This is very sad to read Rach. I have been on anti-depressants for approx 10 years...Can I ask you why your husband decided to come off them? Even with depression medicated or not there is no excuse for your husbands emotional abuse especially in front of your children. Thats a no zone....period.

I understand he works very hard at his job and thats fine. You and your children have a right to peace especially in this difficult period.Is your husband seeing a GP...or a therapist? I do hope he is. I still see my GP on a regular basis for a tune up where my depression is concerned. I used to get impatient and over critical until I realised that I needed to 1/ Stick to taking my meds, and 2/ Understand the impact of my actions towards my partner.

The BB Forums have many wonderful people that are here for you Rach....and we can help as people that suffer from Depression/Anxiety. Its just my humble opinion Rach...but I do hope your husband can start taking the AD's asap and see even his GP on a regular basis.

You have great courage by posting. Please post back if you wish to of course

Kind thoughts for you and your children Rach

Paul