New to the Forum Scene

[baking_girl]

Hello,

I have never posted on a forum before, so feeling very new and nervous.

I have recently turned 25 years old and I live in Melbourne. If you asked any of my friends, family or coworkers what my personality was like, I'm sure they would say happy and bubbly, always has a smile. For as long as I can remember, to me I've mostly felt ashamed of myself and very self conscious. I can get really tired and in my mind I'm being really lazy and unproductive. I dropped out of uni a couple of times which I've now realised I was so anxious and worried about failing that is why I ended up doing just that... failing. I am unhappy with my body and weight which is a major factor to my feelings.

I have been too scared to talk to anyone whether it be family, friends or even doctors. Even trying to just write this I'm second guessing myself and wanting to delete it.

I'm looking for support from somewhere, where I won't feel like I'm getting judged or over reacting to what I'm feeling.

[white knight]

Hi baking girl

You wont be judged. Hete our community know too well what its liked to be judged and we are left with hurt guilt and stigma.

Motivation collapses under stress. Stress at uni isnt unusual and your mask is a common feature. Add to that the depression of being over weight and you have a cocktail of emotions.

Somehow you'll need to make use of ant resourses available to you, in order to improve your choices and get back on track. Motivation is ok but false motivation isnt. The false type is to strive for unrealistic goals. These can include professions beyond your academic capability or chasing them for the wrong reasons. Sales people set such goals, always pushing for more and more..As the flowers bloom then seed without being noticed.

So we at times lose our way, our purpose in life and concerned family members are powerless...its all up to you and your resourses.

Make a visit to your GP in the first instance. Dedicate time to read up on threads here, there are thousands. Eliminate negative factors like toxic friends. Think about positive ways to change your mindset. Add a little exercise and cut back a little food intake...tip the balance in your favour. Attend comedies and motivation lectures. Change.

Please use google to read these. Just the first post if each is ok

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Topic: switching mindsets- beyondblue

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: motivation, search and rescue it- beyondblue

Topic: feeding your brain- beyondblue

Maharaji the perfect instrument

Thanks for being here. Repost anytime.

Tony WK

[Quercus]

Hi baking_girl and a warm welcome 😊

No need to be nervous on here. It's all anonymous and the moderators watch the forums closely so it is a place we can talk openly without worrying about being judged.

I'm glad you hit "post" because I relate to how you talk about people seeing you as bright and bubbly. I use that as a mask too. Happy and polite and "nice". It's a pretty effective way of guarding and protecting yourself and not letting people know they hurt you.

The downside? Not letting people in to know you as you are. Feeling inferior or boring or worthless. Or like you said feeling embarrassed of yourself. Yep been there.

I was talking to a friend lately about body image and weightloss and there's a thread I plan to resurrect once I can remember what it was called 😊. I wonder if I find the link would you be interested? I think there are so many people who relate to being held back by their lack of confidence. And being comfortable in our own skin is a big part of that.

Another thread that you might enjoy is "do you love yourself" by BlondGuy (Paul). This is a pretty good place to start and Paul is very welcoming and gentle. Your comments will be most welcome.

Anyway I'll stop waffling. I hope you stick around. The forums have a lot to offer. Good on you for posting. You're not overreacting. We feel the way we feel. And that's ok.

Nat

[geoff]

hello Baking_girl, I'm pleased you pressed 'post', nervous or not, it's a great way to talk with other people and don't worry we were also apprehensive when we started, it does go away so please stay with us.
Dropping out of uni was a good decision and remember you won't be judged, you are absolutely safe and you can trust us, so please believe me.
It's so nice for you to finally contact us and whatever you have told us we sympathise for you, and also know that many people pretend to be happy but deep down they are struggling like hell, and excuse me for saying that, but there has now come a point where you are exhausted and tired of making people believe there is nothing wrong, you can't be happy when you've hit rock bottom, and I sense that you're frightened to see your doctor, please don't be, they are there to help you, please trust not only me but Tony and Nat.
Book an appointment with your doctor and if your family/parents are close try and involve them, their support maybe something which will also help you.
Hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

[quirkywords]

Baking girl

Welcome. Tony, Nat and Geoff have written very friendly and helpful posts so I won't repeat myself.

When I was your age I dropped in and out of uni so many times and kept on changing courses. It was very stressful.

What do you like doing?

I am so glad you decided to post. Hope to hear from you again.

Quirky

[baking_girl]

Hi all,

Thank you for all the encouraging advice:)

Nat - if you do find that link I would be very interested.

Quirky - as per my user name, I do really like baking, and have thought of making a career out of it. But I've never pursued it because I've been too afraid. Afraid of failure.

And again thank you 🙂

[Quercus]

Hi Baking_Girl 😊

I'm glad you're interested in yhe thread too...there has already been a really facinating response. Looks like we all do need this thread after all. I would really love to hear your ideas too.

Forums / Staying well / Healthy body image tips

Forums / Staying well / Do You Love Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

As to baking go for it! My friend's mum got a food licence and ABN (and whatever other legal stuff needed) and set up a cake making business from home. She advertises on Facebook and is doing so well. You never know until you try.

Nat 😊

[Robbie_A]

Hi baking girl.. 😀

Well thank you for firstly for pressing 'post'. And have the courage to do so, that step there is an achievement in itself and is the first step to self growth.

Well to be honest this is my first post also 👍 well reply.. And I'm happy to be sharing that on this topic.

And everything you explained is somthing i have also suffered with my entire life up until this year,with finally getting professional help and speaking to peopke who won't judge me or look at me a different way,as that is extremely scary..

But since I took that step to build up the courage to ask for help and finally surrender it has been the best decision I ever mad, and surrounding myself around people who really care about me.

My suggestion would be to find a counselor or a therapist you feel comfortable with and take it from there,its been nearly 7.5months for me now and I feel so much better within myself,id Iv had so much growth and slowly learnt to except the things I cannot change,and the courage to change the things I can.. And working through that in time has been the greatest gift for me.

Now joining the beyond blue family and being part of this amazing organisation makes me even happier with the direction in my life.

All I can say is baby steps and one day at a time.

Thank you again for pressing Post

I hope you get a the support your after and keep working on your journey. It'll all be worth it..

keep up the baking 😊