New to BB Forums - not coping

Mayfreed · ‎17-08-2017

Hi, I am a long term depression sufferer but have always managed to work and take part in sporting activities. Late last year my 17 year relationship ended, just over a year after we finally married (I know, it seems like a cliche). I moved in with my sister and her family which was very helpful, but also difficult. I went from being an independent adult to sleeping in a single bed in a spare room and tiptoeing around. I have had the good fortune now to find my own little apartment, but I feel very lonely here. I am currently almost finished my Bachelor's degree and am working in a casual job (although I often work six days a week), which I don't enjoy very much (I had always had good full time career roles before a cycling accident in 2013 forced me out of work). So I have moved twice this year and am finding it hard to get reestablished in any kind of routine. On top of all this I have a daughter with ongoing drug use issues and I find it hard to deal with these on my own (we needed to attend court today). She does not live with me, but when things go wrong I have no one to really debrief with. I have lots of things to feel positive about, my ex-husband and I still have a friendly relationship, I have a nice place to live, I am almost finished my degree and have great results, and I do have a job. But I feel sad most of the time, wondering how at my age I am alone, with no real assets, trying to manage my daughter and put on a brave face to the world. I can talk to family and a couple of friends, but their help is more instrumental than anything else. I just want someone to understand. I think lately that if this is what my life will be like, then what is the point?

BballJ · ‎17-08-2017

Hi Mayfreed,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. Sorry to read what you are currently going through, you have had so much going on and one thing I have picked up in your post is your strength and resilience, I know it may not feel like it but you have pulled through everything life has thrown at you and landed back on your feet which is great and something you should be proud of.

I heard this quote the other day - depression isn't being sad when things are going wrong, depression is being sad when things are going right. You said you seem to have things in order with your nearly finishing your degree, you have a nice place to live and you are on good terms with your ex but as that quote states, even when things are going right depression lingers around like a bad smell. I know you said you are a long term sufferer, have you ever spoken to a psychologist? or have you recently spoken to one? With so much going on in your life I feel you need the help of a trained professional to help guide you through it all. These forums are great and full of great supportive people so you will hopefully find some comfort and support in these forums.

I am a long term anxiety sufferer and I know speaking to family who don't fully grasp the mental health situation can be tough as you feel they don't fully understand it but rest assured we on these forums do and we just want to help where we can.

Please remember you can also call the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 to discuss anything you are going through.

Please, feel free to post back as much as you like.

My best for you,

Jay

Mayfreed · ‎18-08-2017

Thanks Jay. It was nice to wake up to your reply. I do see a social work counsellor and she is really helpful. I think sometimes everything gets on top of me and between appointments it's hard to find places to turn. Thank you for pointing out the helpline number, it may come in handy. I thought I was coping well, but then the reality of having to manage my daughter's issues on my own (her father isn't my ex-husband and although she does have a loose relationship with her father he is unhelpful when things get tough), it just all hits me, and I have no one to come home and 'debrief' with. I really appreciate the support.

BballJ · ‎20-08-2017

Hi Mayfreed,

Apologies for the delay in response, I haven't been on the forums for a couple of days.

I understand everything you are saying and how hard it can be between sessions and the fact you have a good counsellor is a great thing as well. You have found these forums now so please, post here as much as you like, I am always happy to chat.

My best,

Jay