New Member Saying Hello

[_Elle_]

I've just joined the forums hoping to just have a chat to others about what helped or helps them when they have a bad day and just to talk to people who may have been through something similar.

I have two kids and after the second i went through postnatal depression which i guess never really fully went away. I am doing a lot better now but some bad days still feel like a real struggle. I didn't get help for a really long time partially because i didn't recognize it myself and partially because the first people i tried to open up to after i realised i wasn't ok just responded with 'you wanted kids so you should have expected it to be hard' which didn't really send me on the right path.

While most days are better i just wanted to reach out and talk with people who may have had the same or similar experiences. Just feels nice to talk to someone who isn't either ignoring the problem or trying to find a quick fix for it. So hello all 🙂

[Doolhof]

Hi _Elle_,

My story is slightly different to yours. I do relate to depression and to the words of other people not being at all helpful at times.

I have tried to accept some people just have no idea how much their words can hurt and try to accept they are words that I don't need to take to heart. Not an easy thing to do!

Realising I make blunders too helps me to accept the comments I find disagreeable from others.

On hard days, I don't always remember to do the things that I know will help me, like being kind to myself, accept I am not doing so well, find something positive or encouraging to do, look after myself and maybe use a support help line for some assistance.

Do you have hobbies or interests you enjoy that provide some kind of satisfaction, appreciation or sense of achievement?

It can be very beneficial to know that you are being listened to, your issues have been acknowledged and your feelings validated.

Hopefully you will feel those things here on the forum and can also find ways to validate yourself!

Cheers from Dools

[_Elle_]

Thank you for the response Dools; much appreciated.

It is amazing how people can be so harsh when someone close is asking for help and taking a huge step by admitting they need help. Nice to know that there are places like this where even though we may be strangers people still show they care.

When i get the time i try to do the things that bring me joy such as cooking and dancing. On a good day things are alright but it is the days when things don't go so well that i still struggle. I try not to put too much stock in the negative words of others but when a family member responds with 'that's life' when i'm sharing that i'm having a bad day it is hard to keep that optimism. Looking forward to connecting with people here.

[Doolhof]

Hi Elle,

I agree with you, it can be very upsetting when the people we hope will be supportive just don't seem to be able to show us the acknowledgement and understanding we need at that time.

Sometimes I think maybe people just don't know what to say, or they aren't really listening, or they just have no recognition of what you are experiencing. They might not mean to sound like they don't care. Some people think tough love is the answer.

There have been times when I have used the phone help lines like the one here at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 and Lifeline. One lady really helped me through a rough patch on Monday, she saved me spiralling down.

When life does become rough and we spiral down very quickly, I have found it helpful to be able to recognise when they is happening and to try and stop it somehow.

I had tried distracting myself and it wasn't working, so the phone call helped.

Sometimes this forum becomes very busy. If you are comfortable, I would like to encourage you to look at other people's threads (as they are called ) and join in anywhere you would like.

There is also a social section with all kinds of topics. The BB Café is very popular and the conversation there changes very quickly!

Hope you feel welcome here and find your way around!

I'm off to do some gardening! Being outside helps me immensely as do various craft activities.

Cheers from Dools