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New here - Isolated and alone after being ghosted by friends

Community Member

Hi all.

First time on here. Male, 44 years old, Who is very emotional in character, am seeing psych and on medication. Have been suffering from anxiety and depression for about a year. Started with the death of my mother (who was also very anxious in her last few years). I became less social, and less communicative.

Then out of the blue my girlfriend of +5 years left me with the reason she "Just wasn't feeling it anymore". This put me into a spin... and then due to a very bad accident I nearly broke my neck/spine that nearly incapacitated me, and was left unable to walk properly... It was at this time I started to feel the 'downward spiral'.

I was seeing doctors/specialists/surgeons sort out my physical condition, and this kept me kind of 'focused' as I wanted to get better. I have since had major surgery on my spine 3-months ago and this has helped with my physical condition, but now I am coming apart with the mental anxiety and depression I have found my self in following the separation... I find it difficult to leave the house, I feel embarrassed, and completely isolated. The GF said she wanted to still remain friends, but she has been slowly becoming more distant.

We also share mutual friends, and at the start they were all supportive of my injury, but now that I am fixed, I am finding that I am becoming more and more isolated and ghosted from these friends. We all went to a festival (incl. ex-girlfriend), and I was totally ignored by the majority of them which has made me feel very upset that my friendship group is no longer supportive. I've become very lonely and isolated, and have thought like "What's the point of it all" and including suicidal thoughts, to the point I 'tested' suicide to see what it would feel like.

This kind of 'woke me up' and the next day read a lot on this web site to get more understanding, and reach out to a friend to discuss what I'd done and how I feel, and this has helped...

But over the weekend, I ran into my ex-GF, and in my current depressed state I broke down. I told her how I was feeling, how I've felt ghosted by everyone, and that I am looking for friends for support. In a later text message I asked her not to 'run away' but that I need a friend for support, and asked her is she was still my friend...? It has now been two days and she hasn't even answered that simple question. Who would do that?

I'm falling apart, and left shaken that some one I still love won't at least be a supportive friend. What should I do?

1 Reply 1

Hi Black dog, 

We are really sorry to hear about the intense thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing right now. We can see that you are managing a range of challenges in your life at the moment including the ending of a relationship, we know this can be incredibly difficult. We think it is a wonderful step towards better mental health to be reaching out for support here. 

If you ever feel unsafe, it is important that you call 000 straight away for support. You can also call Lifeline on 13 11 14 if you are more comfortable. 

If you ever just need a chat, we are always here to listen and support on 1300 22 4636 or you can try the webchat if that's easier. We will also be reaching out privately to offer support. 

Thank you for your post to the forums and for sharing so openly and with such courage. You never know who may read this post and feel less alone in their own experience. Please also feel free to keep us updated on how you are feeling and to have a look around for other conversations that you resonate with.  Kind regards, 

Sophie M