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New here and weary of the struggle.

Community Member

Hi everyone,

I am living with PTSD and Resistant Major Depression linked to My Autoimmune disease (Thyroid) Hashimotos. Inflammatory thing that affects neurotransmitter function.  Profound fatigue, lacking impetuous to do ANYthing and the constant struggle, with the 'WHATS THE POINT of existing!.........with constant waves of anxiety and sadness??' type of thoughts. I welcome communication with you all here, because I'm finding it too hard trying to convey to my family the darkness I often feel, when seemingly," you have so much to be grateful for, beautiful environment, wonderful family, etc, etc !!"   Thanks for pointing that out to me, like I'm not already acutely aware of that!!

Medication was ineffective and actually made me more unwell. Trying (more like forcing myself) to bring things to my life, like mindfulness meditation, music and being in nature as much as possible does bring some relief at times.

Intermittent thoughts of self medicating, I don't know, with alcohol or something frequently crosses my mind, just to shut the brain up for a bit. Self defeating really, I know! Hope it doesn't gain traction!

 Thankyou for reading,



3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Sujema,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the forum. Thanks for sharing your story with us. I too suffer from most of the things you have mentioned. I too have Hashimotos. On top of that I also developed Chronic Fatigue a few years back. I totally get the not having enough energy to be able to do much at all. Been there and done that.

I am sure a lot of us here have had so many people telling us we should just pull our socks up and get on with life, that we need to be thankful for what we do have.

Like you, I am sure we are all very thankful in so many ways, it is just that when we are plagued with depression, it is very hard to feel that way and to really accept that life is fantastic.

It is great that you have connected here and are able to share how you are feeling.

Sometimes we need to try different forms of medication before one works well. Some people also decide not to use medication at all. For me, I have tried to go off the medication with my Drs okay, but soon found I fell in a huge hole and was a lot worse off with out it. That is how I am.

It sounds like you do try to help yourself, so just keep encouraging yourself to move forward. If you slip back, then accept that and try again the next day.

Writing down the things that help you feel better is a good idea. Then when you are having a lousy day and don't know what to do to pick yourself up, you can look at your list and try to do something you have written down.

Sharing how you are feeling here is something many people will be able to understand. People here are non judgemental as well and can offer encouragement.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools



Community Member

Hi Sujema, you are my first post. I haven't even done an introduction but I clicked onto your post for a reason. How nice to hear that there is always someone out there suffering similar conditions as yourself. I'm so sorry it's you! But perhaps someone (me) understands as i also have Hashimotos, and a host of other body parts affected by Autoimmune issues.  Don't be alone in your struggle and thank you for posting because you took my mind off my worries.  I hope the good days between the horrors increase for you and a furry friend always helps when it's bad. Good luck. 

Community Member
Hi Sujema, one other thing - I found 'The Lupus Recovery Diet' gives remarkable results for my autoimmune condition.  Look it up online - pretty extreme, but so is living with chronic disease. At least it gives you some feeling of control over it - and it works for me.