New here and lonely

[Margaret11]

Hi everyone. I’ve been feeling pretty lonely lately. I hope to feel a bit more connected by participating here.

im 40. Single. Never married. No kids. Mostly lesbian. I have few friends and little family. The family I do have are overseas and COVID has made them feel so far away.

Work is my life but I hate every day of it. I count down the minutes until I can leave. I’m a boss and people are jerks. Everyone wants to play games. The people above are corrupt, many below are liars and cheats.

I feel empty.

[geoff]

Hello Margaret, and a warm welcome to the site.

If your employees or those who are employed and your their boss make comments about you, they have no right and try and hold your head up high, whatever sexuality you are is of no business to them, and if they cheat and liar that's much more of an instance that they should be worried about as they can't be trusted.

That's much more different than you believing yourself to be a lesbian, that's your private life and no concern to them, but if they are dishonest then their jobs are on the line.

Please stay strong, they have more problems than you ever had and remember you're their boss.

Hope you can get back to us, although I'm about to log off but will keep n eye out first thing in the morning, as I start at midnight.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Isabella_]

Hi there Margaret,

I imagine that being a boss with a lot of responsibility in a toxic workplace that you don't enjoy is incredibly hard, all the while not having a support system nearby. I'm sorry to hear that covid has affected the distance from your family 😞

You mentioned that you're single, you've never married and you don't have kids.. How do you feel about that?

I'm really glad that you reached out on here.. I'm here if you need to chat about anything, only if you're comfortable with doing so.

I hope you're taking care ❤️

[Margaret11]

Thanks for replying.

I feel something is missing. One of the first things people ask upon meeting is about kids/partner… as if all women my age must have them. If not, there is some deep issue.

I had to fire an employee on Friday 😔 I listen to my staff with their issues. It’s sad that in most instances their ‘issues’ sounds like welcome scenarios - they’re surrounded by people they love and love them.

I feel as if this rat race doesn’t go anywhere and I can’t get off.

[Mk2692]

Hi Margaret11,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out. I hope you find the forums welcoming and hopefully you can make some new friendships along the way. Sorry to hear that you haven't been able to see your family, that must've been tough on you being away from them. Borders are now open and things are getting better slowly, so hopefully you'll be able to see them soon. It sounds like your job is taking a toll on you, have you looked into finding another job? Work probably takes up most of the day and having a good working environment can make a big difference in both your mental and physical health. Hope this helps.

[Isabella_]

You're certainly not alone in that pressure, or feeling that somethings missing or wrong in your life if you haven't had a child at this age, or gotten married at that age. Our world runs on a social clock with expectations.. It's not easy.. It's understandable if you have insecurity about that, but there isn't anything wrong with you.. No one should make you feel that way. But I understand where it comes from. So many amazing people out there don't take the traditional route. It's a shame that indeed the first thing a lot of people are interested in is your partner and whether you have kids or not.

I'm wondering if your sense of something missing is the fact that you want kids and a relationship.. Or is it a sense of not fitting in, or looking at the people around you and what they're doing that makes you feel like something is missing.

Could perhaps your sense of something missing, and not liking your job, be a sign that you need some changes in your life, but maybe you don't know where to turn?

I'm sorry you had to fire someone, I can't imagine how that would feel.

[feralchik]

Hi Margaret, I just wanted to reach out and say hi. I am feeling pretty much the same at the moment. I am 48 and never married, no kids and little family, etc and yeah just feeling a bit alone at the moment and trying to work out how to connect with more people. I am not gay but am alone nonetheless. I registered here years back but perhaps didn't feel I could share much back then. I can't remember honestly that far back. I have always struggled a bit socially. I imagine it would be hard being a boss too, with greater pressure and stress. That is something I have never done. I have felt stuck in a job though where I was really unhappy though virtually every day with quite a bit of workplace bullying occurring not only toward me but others too. It just made it a very toxic, unpleasant place. Certainly not good for anyone's mental health. Have you thought about a career change or changing jobs or something? That is what I ended up doing and after years of struggling I probably wished I had done that sooner.

Take care.

[Crepe Myrtle]

Hi Margaret,

I just wrote my first post and then read yours, I relate immediately. I'm 43, few friends & family, all at a distance, never married, no kids, part lesbian. I have no job because of my anxiety & depression so when I meet people and they ask what I do for a living I don't know how to respond.

Getting through each day is an achievement, keep it up. We are strong. We are not alone.

Be kind to yourself & stay in touch.