Negative thoughts

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

This is my first time here. I have anxiety, sometimes I don't know the trigger, it could be making a mistake, or talking, I have zero belief in myself and usually think I'm bad.

At work, I apologize too much and always think (or perhaps I do) say stupid things (well the sarcastic comments tell me it is) and I feel pathetic for being too sensitive.

Recently I'm gotten so upset that I cry, mainly from frustration, which isn't right, I shouldn't because it's a minor thing, especially with the world Iike it is, but there it is.

I have been trying meditation and all that but still the negative thoughts come, sometimes my thoughts go to the negative about work people which I am horrified by, they haven't done anything.

I am trying to be grateful and when my mind goes to the negative I feel bad because I'm complaining and so the cycle goes around.

I'm nearly 38 and I have everything you need to be happy but I'm not.

I have thought about suicide, I feel like a waste of a person on this earth, I don't do anything.

Also too I feel like a drama queen for overreacting over small things which shouldn't matter, especially when others have had it worse, why do I feel like this, I've had a good lucky life!!!

Thanks for reading this,

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

Today it's been a struggle, had depressing thoughts most of the day. Been trying to tell myself I'm having a moment.

Just sick of the thoughts in my head, of my self pity & negative & self absorption.

I didn't talk much at work and when I did, I said stupid things & dumb things.

I hate these thoughts and I hate not being positive & I hate having stupid opinions that people end up looking at me as if I'm an idiot, though this is what my head is saying.

[mocha delight]

Hi jacintamarie I know exactly how you feel as I was feeling that way 2-3 days ago but today I think I’m feeling ok. Just know if you ever need to chat I’m here for you ok no matter how little or how much you feel like sharing 🤗

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Mocha delight

Thanks for that & you can talk to me. Today was a bit better though people's sarcastic comments can be a trigger! I know I shouldn't feel pathetic over it but I do, 38 years & still feeling like it.

How was your day!

I hope I can stop feeling like this!

[mocha delight]

Hi JacintaMarie I’m ok today I’m 31 oh and I made a appointment with a psychologist today it’ll be my first one ie as I may be on antidepressants but I’m not officially been diagnosed with depression yet.

[smallwolf]

Good luck with your psychologist appointment. Hopefully you are not too nervous about it. I would find it liberating on that I had an explanation for how I was feeling. Keep in mind I have garden variety depression and anxiety - nothing more specific than that. But I could then find tools to help me cope.

And HI to JM! It has been a while. I hope you are going ok. I did read you can be triggered through sarcasm.

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Mocha delight

Hope your psychologist appointment goes well!

Hi Smallwolf

Yes, unfortunately I think sarcasm is a trigger, it's pathetic I know, need to be stronger. How are you?

Some days are good and some are bad, today at work I feel like I'm boring, because I don't have many light hearted moments or laugh much, I think I am boring.

Sorry I don't know why my brain can still think of these thoughts , it just doesn't seem to end. It might be hormonal, & the world has so many worse things rather than my pitiful worries.

[mocha delight]

Hi smallwolf my friends ok and as to the family member there’s not been any new update yet. And yes I do want a diagnosis/answer but I don’t want to rush it or anything like that. As I’d rather the right & accurate diagnosis then a rushed mis diagnosis if that makes sense? I may not gel with this psychologist but who knows. I also may have to see a few psychologists before I find one I gel with. But the one I have a appointment will I’ll give her a fair go in seeing if she’s the right one before I make up my mind even if that means if she’s not the one that does the diagnosis.

[mocha delight]

Hi Jacintamarie me to 🤞

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

Had another day of negative thoughts. I tried to keep quiet and that did worked, unfortunately when I spoke I think I said the wrong thing.

I mostly always say or do the wrong thing, so sick and tired of saying the wrong thing, so annoyed with me.

So much better when I'm silent! Thanks for letting me vent.

[mocha delight]

Hi jacintamarie I’ve not had a good day either but on the bright side it’s nice to come here to a safe place that has other people who understands and it brightens my day a bit.