Need someone to talk to

[Sasha_Rose]

Without writing a novel I have been finding life a little overwhelming at the moment. My work environment is not the greatest place for me to be in but I am finding very difficult to move on as well. Applying for a jobs makes me very anxious. Even though I am unhappy with the person in charge at work, I am happy with the job itself however further up the chain they do not want to know the issues we have. The hours are also suitable which is making me hang in there. I work in a school environment which makes it very suitable for my teenage children. Mentally it has not been healthy for me. The first time my boss ripped into me (screaming his head off), I thought to myself ok may be it was my fault. The second time it happened again, I said ok he is under pressure but there is no reason for him to take it out on me. The third time it happened I said to myself this is not right. By this stage I was anxious, depressed and on edge. This all happened in within 6 weeks of the boss starting work. I was also up for promotion and I started questioning myself if it was going to be a good move. I in the end declined the position because I was no ones b@t#h. My whole team had made management aware of what was happening as the same had happened to them as well. The fourth time he decided he was going to go off at me, I stood up to him and said no, he was not going to have a screaming session with me. I went to management really upset and let them know this is not ok. Even though management has had words with him, he is still there. I turn up to work anxious and on edge. I try and ignore a lot. The bosses contract is up for review in a few weeks. My husband is pushing me to find another job and I know I should move on but am finding it hard. Looking at job ads has me crying. The thought of going for a interview makes me very anxious. I am applying for jobs hoping I don't get it. I am feeling very lonely and don't know who to talk to. Everyone I know is involved at work. I am so lost and just need someone to talk to.

[smallwolf]

Hi Sasha,

welcome to beyond blue.

Being constantly on edge in a work environment is really horrible - that is the best word I can find to describe it. While my situation is different to your, I was constantly on edge thinking that anything and everything that went wrong was my fault.

With the help of my psychologist I would learn tools to find other ways of looking at the same issue. At the time it may not help straight away, but learning to look at the situation from a different perspective, or via reframing helped me. It sounds like a very stressful job - both for your boss and you. And it maybe the case he releases his stress on his workers?

Of course, I went through the period of people telling me to leave my work. But other issues prevented me from doing that also.

What I have done is planned my exit by doing study and totally change my career path.

I can see a number of positives in your post also - a very supportive husband (or so it sounds), you were assertive in standing up to your boss, you also had the courage to talk to management.

Perhaps you could look at the pro and cons of staying vs leaving work. Maybe hang in there til the contract is up? Or go to an interview? Or leave?

I am listening and if you want to write some more I will still be here.

Peace,

Tim