my husband has had major depression for 14 months and I am struggling

[Christina2]

Hi. I am married to a beautiful man who is struggling with depression, now for 14 months.

He is 57 and this has come out of nowhere. He has tried three different combinations of medication and nothing is working. His psychiatrist is starting to talk about ECT.

I feel very alone in my role as his carer because he doesn't want me to talk about his depression to anyone. Mostly I keep myself busy but I am finding that my emotions are getting more intense and I occasionally say things that I regret. I know he is doing everything he can- wondering if our life will ever return to the way it was.

[Petal22]

Hi Christina2,

Well come to our forums.

I'm sorry this is happening to yourself and husband I understand this would be difficult for you.

I can see that you are a very caring wife.

If you feel as though you need some support you could make an appointment with your gp, you could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

We are here as a community to support you, please chat to us any time.

[geoff]

Hello Christina, no matter how much you love someone, especially if you marry them, depression can suddenly pounce on them and seemingly take them away from you, deep down they still love you, but because of this illness it doesn't allow them to express this feeling and I know you must disappointed and comments that are made are done so in frustration.

It's not easy for him to talk with you as you might be asking questions which he has no answer for because he doesn't know himself and even what you say to him, may not register.

Can I ask you and please only answer if you want to, does he get on with his psychiatrist, because as much experience and knowledge any psych has, doesn't necessarily mean they will suit everyone, and I only say this because there were several I'd seen that weren't to my liking.

Please remember it would be helpful if you could see your doctor and to answer your question, yes it can return but may need to take another direction to what he has previously being doing.

My best.

Geoff.

[blondguy]

Hi Christina2

Thankyou for speaking from the heart and being a part of the forum family too!

I understand your husbands pain and anguish with his depression..I used to have depression and anxiety attacks for a few decades and it is an awful set off symptoms to experience

Just from my own experience the meds are never a 'fix all'....Im sorry that your husband has tried three different combinations without success. I have been on the same meds since 1996 and they have helped me so much

The meds only work in conjunction with regular ongoing counselling. Monthly is good...Fortnightly is better and weekly is the best..(affordability is a consideration of course)

You mentioned your husband doesn't want you to talk about his depression to anyone..This is sad as he hasnt accepted his illness yet...Depression is no different to a physical injury/illness....

Your life will get back on track Christina... You are so strong yet your husband's well being/recovery is based on regular visits to a counsellor....and his determination to heal

any questions are always welcome....I hope you can stick around if and when you choose

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Christina2]

Thanks Geoff. Yes he likes his psychiatrist and he also likes his GP. I have met his psychiatrist and also like him and trust him. It took 12 months to get the first appointment with the psychiatrist but now he is able to see him every two weeks. He meets with the GP every week. I have been to one appointment with him at the psychiatrist and a couple of appointments with the GP

[Christina2]

Thankyou Paul. I appreciate these comments.
I have realised I am becoming very stressed by the situation as it feels like he might never be better. I miss him and the way he was and I am starting to get impatient with the constant sleeping and other things that he is doing that are different.
I don’t know how much I should be pushing him to do things and how much I should be leaving him alone.