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My First Post

Cocoon4
Community Member

Hi all

This is the first time I have posted on these forums. I have bi-polar plus I suffer from winter depression. Some of my depression is also dependent on life situations. Between all this it doesn't leave much room where I don't feel depressed - in spite of having a psychiatrist and being on medication. I would have to say that 95% of the time my life sucks due to my being depressed all the time.

3 Replies 3

AGrace
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Coocoon4,

Welcome to the forums. I hope that you will find them a safe place to express how you feel, as well as to feel supported among a community that understands what you're going through.

I understand that you are taking medication and seeing a Psychiatrist. What is your Psychiatrist's take on you feeling depressed 95% of the time? I would hope that as your therapist s/he would be quite concerned about this? Has your Psych recommended other forms of therapy for you? Group programs, Psychology sessions? Have you has hospital admissions in the past?

Have you been able to read any of the other threads by people here with Bipolar?

I hope to hear back from you, and sorry - it's a lot of questions:)

AGrace

Cocoon4
Community Member

Yes my psychiatrist is concerned that I am feeling depressed 95% of the time. We are currently trying out some new medication - well new for me. 

I've been either depressed or hovering just above depressed since new year. Previously it depended on the mood swings that came and went with my bipolar. Winter is always a difficult time for me.

I have been hospitalized many times but not for a long while though. My depression used to be complicated with alcohol and drug use but I haven't used either for about 15 years now.

I have had a lot of issues to work through such as child abuse, anger management and homelessness to work through. These issues have been dealt with as they have arisen.

I think my latest big bout of depression is partly to do with my age (I am 61). I feel as though I've done a huge amount of things in my life and I've come to a place where I feel as though there is nothing left for me to do in life. I no longer even know what I like to do and seem to have lost interest in everything.

I have thought about taking up running again because I know I was more stable when I used to run. However, there seems to be some stigma around a woman of my age running. I know of men in their 70s that run marathons but I haven't found much around women my age running. Also getting started in running is very difficult sometimes even for people who aren't depressed. I've even stopped taking my dog for walks at the moment.

I feel so lonely and alone in the world most of the time. My life has made it difficult for me to have friends so I have no one I can turn to. Often I can go for weeks with my therapist or my GP being the only two people I communicate with. 

I haven't yet read other threads by people with bipolar but I will. Perhaps it will help - especially if I find someone else going through what I am going through.

 

 

 

Hi Cocoon, you sound a bit like me at the moment. I'm 38 but on my own. I feel like I've lived enough. Please don't ride me off yet because of our age difference. I have been through some tough stuff which has isolated me from others. Hard to trust people again. Lets keep chatting if u like. Do u have work? What kind of dog do u have? I fostered a retired ex racing greyhound for 2 months a little whole ago & he was gorgeous. Hang in there xo