More fragile than expected

[Smalltownperson]

Hi there

I moved back to a small town last year, determined that I would manage it differently this time. I joined a couple of groups, ran sessions through U3A in areas if interest to me (and apparently to others), met some great people, and felt reasonably content. Stayed out of gossip, exercised, and made a rule to have at least one conversation that gave more than I received (easy, sometimes. If I am out walking and meet someone walking their dog, all I need to start the conversation is to compliment their dog...it goes easily from there.)

I am dealing with a shoulder injury that prevents me from swimming and gardening, two of my favourite past times. It's a drag on several levels.

Just recently I began to notice that I was a bit more fragile than I expected to be. Small things have started to distress or disappoint me. It has hit me that no matter how many things I join, how much I go looking for conversations, how much I exercise, I still end up on my own most of the time. Dating sites have proven disappointing, in fact sometimes awful. But I would be the first to admit, I miss male conversation (particularly about sport, which I also love) and company. It is a bit of a buyer's market, even more so in regional areas than the city, I think.

None of my friends or family are single, none of them live within easy reach.

Not sure where to go from here. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[blondguy]

Hello Smalltownperson

Welcome to the forums and good on you for posting too!

I hear you loud and clear. It can be very difficult when we have any physical or mental issue. Ive had anxiety for many years and it makes it hard to meet up with anyone.

Regional may be harder but its still the same here in the subs.

It depends on the amount of people we come into contact with. As you mentioned when walking people are always happy to talk about their dog for sure.

Im a volunteer here on the Beyond Blue forums but do understand where you are coming from

Dating sites do have their benefits. I know some people that have met their soul mate on them......after going through the filtering process and the frustration of course.

Even though this is a forum/website for mental health, loneliness can be a very real and isolating place to be in

Being alone and fragile can be a bad place to be in. Companionship is hard to find for many of us.

You are not alone here at all as there are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Smalltownperson]

Thanks Paul.

I will go back to my Gp to talk about my shoulder. I have had the injury in my other shoulder, so am a bit concerned that I am looking at 18 months or more of little progress. There hasn't been much so far. I am trying hard not to think that way but being in a rural area I am finding the medical system is a lower standard than what I am used to. Difficult.

Not sure what else I can do. I too have friends who met their psrtnrrs online, but in a few years that hasn't happened for me. Here there are less options and opportunities. I feel disappointed in my ability to shift anything much at present.

Regards, stp