Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[SmashtheStigma]

Hi Everyone!

My name is Di. I'm 51 and live in Brisbane. I am 39 months post trauma recovering with PTSD and major depression. I also have an adult son who is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have been a staunch advocate of all matters mental health for most of my adult life. I never expected to be the one who had the mental illness. Life on this side of diagnosis made me alarmingly aware of two things (1) difficulties finding the right treatment and (2) the horror of stigma. I'm a bit thrifty so I am determined to make my experience one that yields a profit of sorts. By that, I mean it must be for a reason and if in my life I only ever impact one other person positively regarding mental illness and mental health then my life will have been worthwhile. Truthfully. I want to impact many people with support, encouragement, acceptance and unconditional love. I wish everyone here the very best for their recovery. Praise the good Lord above for Beyond Blue!

[Blue_Warrior]

I am new to this, unaware of what to expect. I am 27 now and would think that I have been unhappy, in a state of anxiety and depression since my early teens. Which therefore means I have spent more than half my life battling with a demon inside, not something many people can understand. 18 months ago I sort help and went onto some medication, and around 12 months ago I began to see the world in a different light. The joy that was felt was incredible. However I soon realised this battle wouldn’t be an easy fix and will be something that will need attention for the rest of my life. My battle has involved several relationships failing, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, countless incidents which have caused me to hit rock bottom and required to be picked back up again. In amongst the chaos trying to maintain a flourishing career, purchasing my first house and finishing university. I am here to help and to learn, if I can help one person learn from my journey then it will all be worth it.  

[Mike_101]

Hi Eggy

What if you don't have 60% of the wine and cut it back to 30% or 40% ?

While no one wants to see a good wine go to waste I think a good marriage is more important. If you only really get your wife down during the wine drinking then maybe cutting back on the wine will cut back on the sarcasm. If you don't like to leave an open bottle of wine in the fridge maybe donate a glass or two down the sink after opening the bottle as a toast to a long happy marriage.

Kind regards
Mike

[Mike_101]

Hi Liz

Social anxiety and agoraphobia are hard to live with and can lead to anxiety even at the thought of needing to leave the house to attend appointments or to socialise.

Have you tried listening to music while away from home? Obviously you can't really listen to it while in class, but if you have some favourite bands or tunes (or audiobooks) that you can listen to with headphones on your phone or ipod or something - then maybe that will take your mind off being away from the house and act as a kind of comfort zone (listening to familiar things).

For some people the noise of being away from home can be overwhelming, everything happening all at once - information overload so to speak. So by reducing the noise, and listening to something familiar such as music - might help calm your nerves when away from your comfort zone and give your senses something a little more enjoyable to focus on.

Kind regards
Mike

[Josephine_Barlow]

Hey I'm 15 and I'm in Senior School too. I get stressed over everything at school even if its a tiny pop quiz. The only subject I'm good at is maths I seem to fail everything else. Everyone says that school isn't important for the future but once my sister told me that she believes if I fail the HSC I'm a failure, I just haven't been able to get that thought out of my head and it's really hard.

[RJSDriver]

Hello everyone, my first post and intro here.

 I am a 50 and bit year old divorcee with many years of low level depression starting when I was a teenager. Was diagnosed with cancer when I was 31 and been suffering from the after effects ever since. Took a couple of years just to get back to something like a normal life. My marriage broke down a few years ago, giving a lot of financial issues and other problems.

I have a new partner, which is probably the only thing keeping me off the street these days. I lost my job 3 months ago and finding it almost impossible to get another job now. Lost my house back to the bank recently due to unemployment, and have no assets and no savings at all now. My financial future is extremely bleak which plays on my mind all the time.

I am still pretty solid psychologically, so not too worried there. My main issue (like it has been since my cancer issue) is lack of employment. I am not sure what to do next.

[3littlebirds]

Hi there beyond blue peeps. 

I'm seh, and haven't been diagnosed. .. I'm only really coming to terms with the fact that I'm a total mess.

I'm 25 and first stared self harming at the tender age of 13. I stopped at 15 because I didn't like the attention that came with it. My parents handled it terribly calling me selfish and ungrateful.  The others would call me emo, try hard or an attention seeker. Highschool was awful. I saught help at the school. The advice was pathetic, it was along the lines of "smile more, and stop listening to sad music when you're on your period". I took that as, there is nothing wrong with me. I'm just hormonal.  Which I ran with, up until two years ago. 

Life throws you curve balls and I had to make a really hard decision. One of those things that really changes you as a person. I want to say it but it is one of those things that gets swept under the rug and never spoken about.  And I guess that it was the straw that broke the horses back. 

A lot of things that I hadn't really delt with came to the surface all at once. and I guess I'm ashamed that I can't really cope with it all. I mean I should be able to, right? I just wish I new how. Like why don't we get a manual for this stuff.

The other reason why I haven't reached out to a shrink, is because I did 2 years ago.  Grief counseling. She pretty much said. I'm fine. I'm just hormonal.  

It makes me feel like, what if she's right.  What if I'm just being a big crybaby. An overly sensitive hypochondriac.  Is that a thing? It just makes me feel bad coz what if I'm fine, and I've come hear pouring my heart out to you, people who actually have issues and real reasons for them. And here I am 'oh woo is me, I'm 25 and can't deal with being bullied from high school'... it just seems so small in comparison.  

I guess I'm here because I need a second opinion.  Well third actually. In my head it seems ridiculous that I want to have a mental illness.  But at the same time if I don't, then this it. 

 Anyway I'm looking forward to reading some inspirational stories on this forum,  and hoping to find some peace of mind.

 Cheers

Seh.

[White_Rose]

Dear Seh

Hello and thank you for sharing your story. Welcome to Beyond Blue. You sound upset and miserable and that alone is enough cause for you to ask for help. Self harming is a cause for concern even if you no longer do this. I am disappointed for you that your grief counsellor did not help you to manage your sorrow. You also mention your uncertainty about your feelings. All of this makes me believe you have a depressive illness of some kind, but how severe I do not know, not being a doctor.

What I do know however, is that the best place to start is with your GP. Any decent doctor will listen to your story and help you to make sense of it. This may involve referring you to a therapist such as a psychologist, or may not. It all depends on the diagnosis. But the longer you leave this the harder it will get to resolve your difficulties. If you do not have a local GP or you feel uncomfortable with your current GP, you can see another.

BB has a list of GPs experienced in mental health issues. Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on Find a Professional. This will take you to a search function. You can search by postcode for a GP. While there is the ability to look for other professionals I suggest you start by finding a GP and go from there.

Many people mistakenly believe that their problems are not worth being helped because others have greater difficulties. The reality is not what is wrong with others but what help you need. There is no order of merit for any illness.

It is also quite common for people to question their feelings and if something is really wrong. "Is it all in my head?" is often asked. Am I strange, do I want to be ill, am I just a wuss etc. The answer is no. Whatever the outcome you are worried and need a proper answer. Even if the answer is that you are depressed, it's not the end of the world. Once you know where you are it gives you a focus to go forward.

You ask if it is just hormonal. This may be the case and it is very distressing. But you still need to find out and receive some treatment. So please take the first step and visit your doctor. Be as open as possible. The best diagnosis depends on you giving complete information.

I look forward to hearing from you again. Perhaps you would like to start your own thread so that all responses will be in one place. Continuing to write on this introductory thread will mean your posts and replies will be scattered all through the thread.

Cheers, Mary

[lostkath75]

Hi everyone

I'm also new here. I was diagnosed 6 years ago with depression and anxiety. I have been trying to fight it without meds and help. Obviously at one stage I thought it was working, but now. I know it's not. I hate doctors and psychs. I hate talking face to face about my issues. I have been bottling everything up inside me for a very long time. 

I believe it all started when I was 16, the same year my niece was born. It was then that I remembered what my brother had done to me when I was a little girl and the fear of him doing the same to his own daughter. I spoke to the school councillor, and her answer was basically that it was understandable for that to happen as a teenage boy needs to experiment. That same day I told my mother and her comment to me was I know. So I guess that was the start of the destruction of me. I have been up and down over the years. More so now then ever.

I am 40 and I really am finding it hard to do anything. I don't see any of my family, basically I have no family. My parents have decided to side with my brother, because they believe that I had made it all up. The funny thing about that is that I remember pretty much everything from that day, the weather where I was, where they were. I was only about 6 years old. But anyway.

I feel so alone at the moment. My husband is too busy to care or notice. All he is concerned about is raising money in memory of his best friend who passed away. I have this cloud that used to only hover over the top of me, but now all it is doing is choking me and preventing me from seeing any sunshine. There is no sunshine in my life at the moment and I can't find the strength to go on. 

I have no friends, no family, no body that knows anything about me. This is my first time here. I can't find anything to look forward to. What do I do? Please don't tell me to see a doc, they just look at you and don't really try and understand you. I sent myself a good bye post on facebook. Only I can see it. I want to say goodbye, but then I think, what's the point of telling people, when they are just pretend friends.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[White_Rose]

Dear Lost Kath

Hello and thank you for sharing your story. I am so very sorry that you have had to live with this pain and I hope we can help and support you. I have not had the same experience as you so I cannot begin to know how it feels. I have had my own experiences which have left me feeling alone and friendless. It is bad when you feel no one is interested in how you feel, what has happened and whether you are telling the truth. I can also understand your concern for your niece.

There are organisations who specialize in caring for adults who have experienced childhood abuse. These people know all about your circumstances so it may be worthwhile contacting them for assistance. It's not the same as going to your GP or a general counsellor.

http://www.asca.org.au/Survivors/Finding-Care-and-Support.aspx
http://www.bravehearts.org.au/pages/individual-and-counselling.php

These are a couple of addresses. Other organisations that can offer specialist counselling are Relationships Australia, Lifeline, Anglicare. I understand your concern about face to face counselling and a dislike of doctors and psychs. Trust me, I've been there. After 30 years of an abusive marriage and 15 years of living on my own I have just started counselling for this. I would love to scoop you up and take you to my lovely doctor who has been fantastic, knowledgeable and supportive.  Without her I would still be struggling. There are good people out there.

I'm not going to persuade you to change your mind by saying I have been given great help. You need to find it yourself. But you do need to find it soon. You have discovered that bottling up all your feeling has not worked.

It is always difficult for parents when their child has been abused. Some cope by denying it has happened, especially when it involves another of their children. The counsellor you spoke to at school was clearly incompetent in making those remarks. It is never natural or normal for a 6 yo child to be molested under any circumstances. It's sad that your mom acknowledged the abuse when you were 16 and has since denied it.

Have a look round the BB site read as much as possible about depression and anxiety. There is not a great deal on child abuse as this is not the focus for BB. However general information is always useful. You can also call the helpline on 1300 22 4636 24/7 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. Both these organisations can tell you where to find help.

Please do not give up. Please reply and tell us what is happening.

Mary