Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Tina_m1]

Hi my names Tina and I'm new to this. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for years now. But lately I've been feeling like I'm just waking up and doing the same thing over over again and I'm constantly thinking about everything and not sure where my life is going. is there anyone here who can relate????

[Comet]

Hi Sach. I really liked your post. You are doing a good job but I can't do what you are doing, that is making myself do something and get out of the house. I keep thinking about what I am going to do but I usually don't do it. I just mooch about the house or go back to sleep. Sometimes I can do it especially when I am going to meet someone or got to someone's house.

So what are your strategies for making yourself do things? Can you share them with me?

 PS I introduced myself on this thread a couple of days ago if you want to read it.

[Laughing_Giraffe]

I was born in London in 1976 and was diagnosed with depression during my childhood years. I attempted suicide twice in my teens and spent time in 2 separate psychiatric hospitals and saw various psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors. Neither these institutions nor practitioners cured me of my depression. Completing a Bachelor of Arts degree in Philosophy only left more questions unanswered. I am now living a happy and fulfilling life in NSW, Australia after taking myself on a journey around the world. The journey took nearly 2 years. This was a journey to cure my self of this miserable disease of the mind. On my travels and throughout all the subsequent years I learned how to take back control over my mind. Through practicing different techniques and making lifestyle changes and paradigm shifts I have been able to heal myself and others. I have studied meditation, yoga and art and I am continually researching alternative health therapies such as naturopathy. I love cooking, painting, skiing, paragliding and speedriding amongst many other things. I have spent most of my working life caring for others. I have worked with people from all backgrounds with varying abilities and needs; from working in respite centres for children with developmental disabilities, through caring for those with physical disabilities such as MS and Polio, to working in group homes for adults with developmental disabilities and more recently as a paramedic. Over the years I have learned a lot about communication and it is this skill coupled with the information I have gathered to rid myself of depression that has helped many people through dark times and given them a new perspective on life. I have a message of hope, happiness and health.

[pipsy]

Hi Comet.  It's good that you appreciate how Sash is coping with her problems.  What you have to also appreciate is, you're not her.  What works for some, doesn't work for others.  Your depression is controlling your life.  It's hard to get out of bed when you're feeling that all you want to do is pull the covers up and 'escape'.  Well meaning people will tell you to 'join something'.  If you can, that's good, but if you can't that's 'mission impossible'.  Have you thought about volunteer work.  Maybe once or twice a week, something you know you can do.  If you can find something that stimulates you, that'll help with the getting up.  Only you know what (if any) your skills are.  Perhaps working with children, or a garden nursery.  Meal on Wheels, driving or in the kitchen.  Once you start doing something you love, that'll help lift your dark days.  Maybe Lifeline counselling would be your forte.  Sometimes it's easier to help others than it is to help ourselves.  A wise man once said to me, the hardest part about fighting depression, is understanding and accepting you can't divorce your emotions.  You can learn to control them once you 'lose' yourself in a project that makes you feel good.  Through helping others, also, we sometimes find the answers to our own problems.

I have found that on here, all I do is 'call on' my own life experiences to try to 'feel' what others feel at their worst possible moments.  I've had some really 'black dog' moments, believe me, but when I look back, it's nothing compared to what I read on these forums.  In-law issues are 'hot topic', I live with that now.  Sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, I've had to live with that, too.  I survived, you will too.  What I've lived through has made me strong. 

[Nickexe]

G'day,
My names Nick.
Ugh.. I'm not exactly sure what to write, to be frank with you.
I'm 19 going on 20. Very into music and whatnot.
Diagnosed with BPD.

Honestly. I'm looking for friends, Some form of social connection, anything really.
advice even.
Cheers.

[EP87]

Hi. I'm female 26. I've had depression & anxiety since I was 15 which went undiagnosed until I started to fall apart 2 years ago and finally told my GP. I've been on antidepressants for about 2 years and have been seeing the same therapist that whole time too.

For a long time I have been doing really well. It even started to get to the point where I thought my therapy was wrapping up. But as of the last few months I am struggling. I feel like my medication is not working like it used to. I feel emotionally weak again. I often find myself on the verge of tears over very small things. And I am worrying excessively that other people hate me. A small number of people in my life (two at work) really hate me and have been bullying me. Because of that I live in fear that everyone hates me and I've become very insecure again.

I feel like if I had a community to belong to I wouldn't feel like that as much/I would be able to regain perspective.

[Striker]

Hi, well I don't know what to write but here goes nothing.  I have finally given into the pain I have been dealing with for a while now and finally reaching out for help.  I currently have a dependence for alcohol and even though I hate it I still find myself reaching for the bottle to calm me down.  Hopefully I will be able to let my feelings out in time as I'm a shy lonely person and don't normally let my feelings show.

[Little_one]

Hi

i don't know if I'm doing this right.  I just joined after feeling horrible all day.  I've struggled with depression for about 25 years, however have been well medicated for the majority.  I am the one that copes and supports everyone.  I am relied on and expected to do it all.  I'm the fixer the do-er.  My immediate family know about the depression, but they tolerate my occasional falls, waiting for me to pick myself up and move along.  I want to run away, escape, die.  But after so many years know that the desire for death will pass and that once again I will become who im supposed to be.  I feeling my entire existence is orchestrated from birth by the needs of others - like the birth of a child used as spare parts to help others survive.  When the depression passes - I step back into line and resume the role.  The hysterical thing is no one outside knows, no one would guess.  It's like its not allowed in my world and I e been so well programmed - I follow the script.  I feel very alone in this lie and if I allow for it to overcome me - I feel I'm letting everyone down.  It's too hard living like this.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[White_Rose]

Dear Little One

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I am so very sorry that you live this life of service to others.

You have described a very controlled life and I wonder if this is the cause of your depression in the first place. It is horrible to feel that your only use is to care for others. No wonder you 'fall down' and feel dreadful. And how unhelpful and unsupportive of your family to "tolerate your occasional falls". So cold and distant.

You say you have had medication in the past. Do you still take medication? And more importantly, do you receive any professional help other than the doctor who prescribes your medication?If not I suggest you have a chat with your GP and get a referral to someone who can help you regain your self esteem.

I have read your post several times and I am dismayed at the tenor of your life. I want to take you to a lovely place where you can live happily ever after. Whoops!  That sounds a bit suss.

You know, caring for others is wonderful and can give a lot of satisfaction. But you also need time out for yourself, to care for your own health, both mental and physical. The sad part, especial for moms, is that we start off caring for our families and then get so taken for granted that no one notices anymore. I think all moms go through this to some extent, but it seems to have got out of hand for you.

To me it's a form of abuse, albeit without malice, and probably without thought. Perhaps it's time to start letting the family, and others, start learning to manage their own needs. Start with the smaller problems and ask them what they intend to do about it. My guess is that the answer will be along the lines of "I don't know. Can't you do it?" At which point you need to gently but firmly tell them to come up with their own solution.

My children learned a lesson in consequences, when after constantly reminding them to put their dirty clothes in the basket I said I would only wash what was put out. And I stuck to it. They soon learned. I realised it was good that they learned consequences and they learned not to take me for granted. Win/win.

It would be great to continue talking to you so can I suggest you start your own thread in a different forum. Your posts and relies will get lost in this forum.

Mary

[thisaquarian]

Hi Tina M - I can certainly relate. I feel a bit stuck with my life right now... Where am I going, what am I doing with it? It seems like everyone else around me has their life sorted and I'm still in the same place.