Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[kenzlblackk]

Hi my name is Mackenzie and I am 15. When I was 10 I had quite severe generalised anxiety disorder. It was treated over the course of one year, by seeing many, many doctors and receiving treatment from both the physical and mental sections of the hospital. Before my treatment, I hadn't eaten properly in a few months, I found it hard to even drink water, and at first, doctors put it down to a stomach problem. We soon found out otherwise. I think the most confusing thing for me, the doctors and my family was, we didn't know where the anxiety came from. I had a great family, great friends, great school and I had never been bullied, and I still wonder to this day, but I am here to say that with the motivation to be a better person, the right people in your life and time, it really does get better, however cliche or unbelievable that is to hear. I can definitely see a difference in myself when I look back. There are still times when I freak out or worry about nothing or the littlest things, or when I just feel sad or when I hardly sleep at all. I am so, so willing to help any person with their problems. So to everyone, good luck!

[Jastamika]

hi everyone, 
im jasmine and im suffering from social anxiety. 
can anyone give me advice on how to deal with it ? or what to do ? 

im currently unemployed as well and struggling for money so i won't be able to afford medication. 

I'm scared that if i don't do anything then i am going to ruin everything around me . especially my relationship. 
please help 😞

[Mark59]

Hi everyone my name is Mark I guess the best way to start is to introduce myself. I'm a former police officer of 20 yrs experience. After a life time of good health I developed PTSD from work related experiences.

It all came to a head several years ago when I had a panic attack which resulted in a trip to the ER. The worse day of my life! I had all the symptoms of a heart attack all tests were fine. However my BP was 230/120. This was 6 years ago I'm still on this road. 

My main anxiety is relating to the belief that I have some sort of medical condition that will kill me. I have given myself every type of major illness even though my GP who is great has sent me for every type of test I'm not convinced that I don't have something they haven't found yet. It's a horrible way to live and it seems to be a common complaint that anxiety suffers seem to face. 

I have days where I feel great then other days I feel dizzy/anxious with chest discomfort with no apparent triggers. It almost leads me back to the ER. I think surely the Drs have missed something? Like a lot of others I made the mistake of Googling my symptoms originally which definitely made things worse. 

I just had a full medical 3 months ago and all was fine but I'm not convinced. This is an awful way to live. 

As a former Police Officer I'm amazed at how many people have said to me that you are so lucky that you don't have to work anymore as I was medically retired. I would give anything to have my old life back. 

Just sitting at home reading posts and realising how similar lots of people's problems are and I guess I needed to tell mine. Thanks. 

[LJ4238]

Hi, my name is Linda, I am hoping to get some clearer understanding and support. I have my best friend that is constantly battling depression and other personality disorder. Most recently I have noticed she seems to be sinking further into that dark place where she has often go to in the past. Recently she admitted to me over the phone that she has started self-harming herself again. Then very shortly after that she has totally cut ties with me, told me she doesn't want me in her life and blocked me. I have tried contacting her just to tell her no matter what I am always here for her when she is ready and that I am not giving up on her. I don't know what I have done if anything for her to act this way. She has done this previously but it usually only lasts a week or maybe two at most. Then we pick up where we left off. I have backed off to give her space. How do I cope with loosing my best friend.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Chris_B]

Hi Mark69, welcome to the forums. We have a thread about PTSD and first responders where you can chat to other members with a similar background:

PTSD for medical and first responders

[Chris_B]

Hi Jastamika, welcome to the forums. Have a look through the threads below:

Social anxiety disorder

Social anxiety - by Katie 101

I can't handle the social anxiety anymore - by Kelliew

Social anxiety - by Jukee

Social anxiety and work experience

Social anxiety is ruining my life

Social anxiety - by clouise

Social anxiety - by sarah272

Social anxiety - tips for communicating better with others

[Losingsleepintoodeep]

I'm only new to these forums, I've only read a handful of posts and already your situation seems a lot like mine.

I don't know if it will help you, but it helps me to know that I'm not alone in the way I feel.

[Losingsleepintoodeep]

Hi guys and girls,

 I'm a 27 year old guy, in 2009 I was diagnosed with anxiety and ocd, I was put on medication at the time, but after some life changes I worked through my issues and was doing well.

I've had a very full on couple of years and I am now struggling again, this time though I have been diagnosed with depression as well. I'm not on medication this time, after talking to my doctor I have decided to see a psychologist, she is helpful and I thought I was doing well, I'm not. I'm seeing her for a follow up appointment next week, but I may have to start regular visits again.

I was feeling awful tonight, but after joining these forums and reading other people's stories I am feeling a lot better, it's great to know that I'm not alone.

[Leia]

Hey twarbs, I know I don't know much about you but your words struck a chord with me.

Mental illness can be intermittent and conniving. Everyone always mentions that it's a 'choice' to be happy or sad but I don't think it's that simple. You've self-identified that you've been fueling the flame that makes you feel this way and although that may seem like nothing but another painful reminder of your inadequacies, it's not. It is a small, crucial step to a long road of progress. I'm not a professional. I binge eat, serially watch tv, chronically cry, stay up too late and too often buy into the superficial side of society. But it doesn't have to be a marathon at a time. It feels like Everest yes, so maybe we could think about it differently? Bear with me.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the bottomless spiral of self-loathing and (I hate using this word but) 'negativity'. Then my psychologist (bless her soul) can point out the simplest things and that wall can seem easier to cross.

Bed maybe half an hour earlier? The week after, maybe try to have one day where you aim to have wholesome satisfying meals. Next time you open FB/instagram/whatever it is, instead do something you know will activate yourself and make you feel more satisfied? (sit outside, listen to music, google interesting facts).

I'm sorry if none of this is helpful, and I am even more sorry if this sounds at all like I am preaching because that is not at all what I intend to do. I am not nearly recovered, I have anxiety, depression and more recently bulimia nervosa. I'm a mess but I think sometimes comfort lies in the thought that as hopeless and as restless as you feel, there's someone else experiencing something similar.

I'm knew to forums so apologies if this long winded rant has been of no value. I'm really just sorry that you're feeling this way because it sucks. I'm here and so are many others. It's hell, you shouldn't have to spend everyday fighting yourself, but you don't have to walk this path alone.

Leia

[Leia]

Hi Mark,

Honestly thank you for sharing. I haven't even posted my story yet because I feel pretty stupid not directly talking to someone but nevertheless, I will.

I think it's brave of anyone with mental health issues to share their story but I also think it's particularly brave for you to share yours. As a former police officer you have served us all indirectly and dealt with a side of society many will never experience. Life is unforeseeable and I'm sorry events took place that lead to here.

I don't know a great deal about PTSD other than what I have learn through my study within the health field. I do have my own experiences in anxiety and I can't imagine you feel any better than I do about being a chronic self-diagnosing, problematic 'hypochondriac.' I've had issues with my joints since I can remember and every test has come back inconclusive. Doctors, physio's, specialists can tell me whatever they want but I feel that I know something is wrong with me. I'm always thinking its something awful and terminal, which is then matched by the excessive discussions I have with myself about how I must be completely delusional and self-absorbed.

I'm a paramedic, so although there are vast differences between our fields, SAPOL and SAAS often work together. There are a lot of undisclosed and traumatizing experiences to bed had and although we can be resilient not everything is within our control. Your BP was outrageously hypertensive and it just goes to show how physically debilitating mental illness can be.

Thank you for you years of hard work and I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I'm here if you ever need to chat. Take care of yourself, I hope with time and good help you can find a way to quieten that voice that tells you 'something is wrong' and slowly learn to take each day as it comes.

Kind regards,

Leia