Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[pipsy]

Hello.  Pardon me if I trample on sensitive feet, here.  I'm wondering if what attracted you to your new partner, is what attracted you to your previous partner.  Quite often when we are emotionally bruised and battered, we leave the relationship after months/years of intolerable abuse.  We eventually start a fresh relationship and discover (unfortunately) our new partner is similar to the previous partner.  I'm not saying that's true in your case.  I may be completely wrong, in which case please accept my sincere apologies.  Having said that.  Do you know what caused the original depression, a bad childhood or just traumatic divorce.  Are you on meds?  Maybe you need to talk to your G.P, or a referral to a psychologist which will help you understand your 'blackness' better.  Depression has many 'hats', some from past traumas some present situations.  Once you understand why you feel as you do, you're half way there.  It won't be easy, quite painful emotionally, but you do need to face your demons to fight them.  Any bad memories are just that, memories.  Learning to 'shelve' them is difficult, but not impossible, with help.  Meds will help, but overcoming bad memories is necessary for long term benefits.  Once you learn how to 'box' them, it will get easier.

Please talk to your G.P.  If possible a psychologist or psychiatrist.  Above all be honest about your feelings when you do talk to someone.  Never be afraid of memories, they only hurt you when you don't know how to control them.  For this you need help.

Good luck.

[bandaid]

Hello everyone. I'm Bec. 24, work in IT and live on my lonesome with my pug. Have recently started uni for a career change (because IT is destroying my soul!) and taken up long sword fighting as a hobby.. because why not!

I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I'm not quite sure why; I was raised by a loving family and was never bullied in school. Yet, somehow at 11 years of age, things were so bad I made an attempt on my life. Although I never tried that again, the depression made an appearance every couple of years and would tear me down for long periods of time. At about 20 years of age, my depression turned into horrible anxiety after a bad relationship. Ever since then, whenever I get remotely close to someone (friend or otherwise) the anxiety comes back. I honestly miss my depression because that did not affect my relationships with my friends and partners; it was an internal struggle. The anxiety has me lashing out or avoiding situations because I feel generally crazy. 

Looking forward to conversing with people on here, sometimes I find it easier to talk to people I don't know about these things. I'm finding I'm starting to feel very bitter about it all!

[White_Rose]

Dear DC

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I am so sorry that you are having this dreadful time. It can be quite horrifying to realise you are repeating the patterns of your own upbringing, especially when it seems almost impossible to change.

You have recognised that it is time to change, so well done on reaching that milestone. You do not mention receiving any professional help so I presume you are struggling on your own. I would really urge you to visit your doctor and get some help. I'm not sure what the American medical system is like or how different it is here. Neither am I certain how you access the medical system if you are not a resident or citizen. I suggest you go to your local doctor and ask there.

If you go to the tabs at the top of the page and click on Get Support then go to Find a Professional you will come to a list of GPs who are experienced in managing mental health problems. This list is searchable by postcode. Find a nearby doctor and make an appointment.

I make this suggestion because you sound completely out of options. Consulting your GP will open other options such as medication (don't knock it) and counseling services. You may not need these but the GP will advise you.

Many people are wary of going to a doctor as they think it makes them look weak, 'a nut case', unable to manage etc. In fact it takes a lot of courage and determination to ask for help in the manner. And you have shown you have the necessary courage by writing on BB.

I hope we can continue this conversation. If this is OK with you then I suggest you start your thread in the Depression or Anxiety Forums. That way all your posts and the replies will be in one place instead of the need to search for them in the Introductory thread. Hope to hear from you again.

Mary

[Chris_B]

Hi twarbs, welcome to the forums and well done for making an introduction post. If you'd like to talk further about your situation with our members, please start a new thread in the section that best suits. There's a thread here that explains how to use the forums.

You might also wish to have a read through our Staying Well forum, and Self help tips for managing depression.

[guest144]

Hi, first time to beyond blue. Have been diagnosed with NPD where I have crossed many boundaries, have lacked empathy for my actions and now after 18 years of marriage find myself separated. I accept my diagnosis and am seeking help to learn how best to manage and grow with  this condition.

[pipsy]

Hi guest144.  Firstly, congrats at accepting your problem.  Too many NPD's do not accept or believe they have this problem.  Have you read many books about this disorder.  It is a mental health disorder, don't be put off by the 'mental health' stigma.  People who don't know or understand it tend to walk or run from sufferers.  Do you have children?  Try and explain to them what the disorder is depending on their age (obviously).  Does your husband know or understand why you said and did the things you did?  Building bridges to repair the damage will come as you start to manage your disorder.  Are you on meds?  Sorry to ask so many questions, just trying to let you know you needn't feel isolated.

Best of luck.

Regards Pipsy.

[Keznic]

Hi I am new to beyond blue and a bit nervous about sharing my problems, anyway here goes. For years I have suffered with a panic disorder. I remember my earliest experience with what I call (the monster) was at the age of about 9. I am now in my 40s and although I havent experienced the monster all this time I seem to when I go through a traumatic experience or stress. I am going through continuos panic attacks in my life at the moment and I am unable to do anything much on my own without the assistance of my husband and kids. I feel like a failure and a burden to them. I tried using prescribed medication some years ago and all it did was made me like a walking zombie, not to mention that it affected my sexual intimacy with my husband. I  am on no medication for this problem at the moment and to tell the truth I feel scared to give it another go. 

[shelleagle]

I have a nearly 16 yr old daughter who was diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder 12 months ago.  However, has suffered all her life, and after being told that she would 'grow out of it', finally got some answers.  She is currently seeing a psychologist fortnightly and up until 2 months ago was coping well.  She was back at school, playing sport, socialising with her friends and had a wonderful supportive boyfriend.  For the past 2 months, she has gradually withdrawn back into herself, not wanting to go to school, panic attacks happening more often and eventually broke up with the boyfriend.  This has now sent her into a complete downward spiral, telling me she just doesn't want to be here anymore and continual crying, non stop.  Psychologist has told me to be strong with her and challenge her, but I am at a loss as to what to do.  I get so frustrated as she is ostracising herself from her friends and support network, and we are all there to help her.  It is totally destroying our family unit.  we live in the country and therefore cant just 'pop' in to see the pysch.  Are we doing enough?  Should we be looking further?  I have resisted medication, but consented to her being on one type of medication, which she managed to survive without until a couple of months ago. Any advice or support from anyone would be greatly appreciated.

[time2talk]

Hi,

just joined BB. I'm from a mining background (26 yrs in the industry) and have recently left to start a new life style. My experiences in life range from having 5 children - 3 of whom are on the autism spectrum, going through marriage breakdown and divorce and having to face redundancy after a lifetime in an industry. I would say that I faced depression and went into a dark place for a while but have dragged myself out of it after much soul searching and realization.

Mining was a toxic environment to work in for so many years but like an addiction, it was hard to give up. I saw fatalities, serious injuries, nervous breakdowns, relationship breakdowns, career defining moments and serious environmental plundering.

Since I left mining, I've restored my relationships with my kids and even reconciled with my ex. We live together again as a family. All those experiences have made me understand more about life and to that extent I have embarked on a counselling career to help others avoid the dark places in life. I hope to learn and contribute through the forum..

regards...

[Chris_B]

Hi shelleagle, welcome to the forums and thanks for introducing yourself. If you're wanting to discuss your specific situation further with our members, then please start a new thread in the Supporting Family & Friends forum.