Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[Chris_B]

Hi HelpfulHusband, thanks for introducing yourself here. Please have a look through some of the threads in the Supporting Family & Friends forum, that's the best place to get support for loved ones. You can reply to others in there, or start your own thread.

[Loobylou]

Just wanted to quickly introduce myself. I am almost 48, married for 25.5 years  we have 4 grown children, 3 of whom still live at home.

I got online today to try & find some support/guidance to help me work my way out of the hole I currently find myself in.  This is a hole I am all too familiar with, one I had actually hoped I would never find myself in again. I am finding that even if there is a familiarity to my present state of being, that in its self brings no comfort at all. Just deep fear because I know where this path leads. 

As an adult, I now look back & see that anxiety has always been a part of the way I respond to life. That response was manageable when I was a child, but started to escalate as I transitioned into adulthood. Anxiety started to shift from being specific to certain situations  (ie heights, small spaces like lifts, stairs etc)  to pervading all areas of my life by the time I was in my early 30's. I became severely agoraphobic, obviously unable to drive also. Life was interesting with 4 small children to care for. 

I had clawed my way back to being able to live a life I was happy with. Participating in all aspects of life. Never completely free of the anxiety but I felt I had it on a leash with the ability to rein it in if it started to get bossy. Feeling anxious wasn't fun but I did things in spite of those feelings. 

This year things have been slowly coming unravelled. The last month has seen the return of panic attacks. My world is getting smaller again as I find I am beginning to avoid all sorts of situations to try & prevent extreme anxiety & panic. Right now I am not sure what I am more afraid of, the giant black hole that is consuming me or loosing the freedom & confidence I had achieved. They are one & the same I guess. 

I have seen my GP, he wrote me a mental health treatment plan. I have begun to see a psychologist. I had a light bulb moment in the shower this morning.  I realised I used to get up and think, RIGHT what am I going to do today.  Now I wake up and assess how I feel, and wonder how I can avoid the anxiety and panic: how can I keep myself safe. Increasingly that means just staying put. I am trying to remember how I worked my way out of this before. I think I just had to be brave and DO no matter what. But I am feeling very raw and rattled. I have lost my brave and can't quite find it. So I am starting with connecting, hoping maybe someone can remind me where to start! 

[HA1]

Hi Lobbylou!

Thanks for your post and thank you for reaching out to BeyondBlue.

I take it from what you have said that you have gone through most of your life untreated (and undiagnosed)?  Only recently have you seen a GP who has you on a mental health treatment plan?  Well, congratulations on seek professional help.  Big step.  I went all my life without seeking treatment and, boy, don't I regret it.  You are still young, so you are now well on your way.

Where to start?  Small baby steps I always say.  Have a to-do plan, and knock of one or two a week first, then one a day and then .....  My psychologist insisted that I do just this, and every week she checked to make sure what I had ticked off.  Even the smallest of achievements were just that, achievements.  The more I knocked off that 10 page list, the prouder I felt.

Can I ask you that you start your own thread with your wonderful post.  You could start it by just copying your first post here and putting it in your own thread.  That way it will be easy to follow you and provide a reply.

Really looking forward to hearing from you,

K

[pappy]

hello beautiful people,

currently sitting here at home, worried like hell, full of doubt and fear if i am doing the right thing. i know i am in desperate need of help because every day is a struggle for me. everyday i get angry with my current circumstances because i have extreme difficulty in processing life on life's terms.

i am 47 year of age next month and still i feel like i am a toddler in a grown mans body. i never did grow up or if i am permitted to say, was never allowed to grow up. so here i am seeking answers to a life i know very little about.

where do i begin when i have tried so many other things in growing up. things which have left me with grave emotional scars and wounds deep within that have never healed. 'things', being drugs. drugs which i took in order to stop the pain i carry everyday in my inner most part of my soul. i think they call that 'self medicating'.

i also feel quite selfish in sharing my story, because i am sure there are others with much worse situations than myself. dear friends, i hope this will be a step in the right direction, to find healing for my life and the wounds i have sustained along the way.

thank you for letting me share part of my story. may that which is to be found through this web-site come to us all.

[HA1]

Hi Pappy!

Thank you for the post.  Can I say that, just from the tone of your post makes me think that you have done some hard yards.  Don't ever think that your story is insignificant compared to others - we all have our own pains, and each story is different.

I would hope that you can share your story in a new thread.  But can I just ask when you say "you were never allowed to grow up" what do you mean?  I fear that it might be close to many of our hearts.

Please start your own thread so we can respond directly to your situation.

Look forward to chatting more.

K

[Loobylou]

Hello Hideaway,  thanks for the direction I have copied my post and started a new thread!

cheers

[pappy]

hello hideaway, thank you for you reply. i am as green as they come. i don't know how to start my own thread. please help me.

[tropicalHibiscus]

Thankfully I have fairly good mental health.    I am happy & healthy in mind & body.      One of my bosses suffers from a mental condition & is on drugs to try & keep it under control.    I'm not sure what "label" her condition has ?      She thinks people talk about about her ... when they aren't  .... she's also a dreadful bully.

I don't generally see her bullying behaviour, because I sorta "jumped" on her years ago about her bullying, & won't tolerate it.    She bullies the younger staff members, & I worry over them.     I'm not sure her bullying is connected to her mental health ??     I feel as if she's just misbehaving ??

I feel that she is acting like a toddler when she's doing her bullying ... she often has tantrums when she's bullying ...... they don't seem to be related to her thinking people are talking about her.

I'm not sure that I can do anything to help her.   I need help ... just so I know how to react, & how can I protect the younger staff members?     

I have known her for 25 + yrs ... I have her best interests at heart .... mine too.  

It's great to have found this place.

THANKS 

[pappy]

hello again hideaway.

don't mean to be rude, but i think i will retire for the night. i am extremely tired and this is also draining me. i by no means want to stop what i have now started, because your words have given me a spark of hope. i also hope to find this same place tomorrow. again, thank you so kindly. pappy:-)

[HA1]

Thanks Loobylou,

I will look out for it.!

K