Members new and old, introduce yourselves here

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone,

This is (what will hopefully become) a mega-thread for members, new and old, to introduce themselves.  I'll kick off:

My name is Chris Banks and I’m the online communities manager at beyondblue. Basically, I’m here to help out, contribute to discussions, and answer any questions you may have about beyondblue. I work with a team of moderators behind-the-scenes who keep the forums running 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I’m 37, originally from New Zealand, and have worked as a filmmaker, journalist, and musician.  I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in the mental health sector too. I have lived experience of bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety, and have been living in Melbourne for nearly two years. In my spare time I enjoy movies, music, hanging out with mates, and I barrack for Hawthorn, much to the disgust of some of our regular members!

I’m not a psychologist or counsellor (although I have seen a fair few of them), so I can’t give medical advice. Like everyone else here, I can provide peer support only.
I really enjoy being part of the community and virtually meeting the many different people of all ages who come through everyday, even if they're not feeling the best when they arrive on the doorstep. Hopefully in your time here you'll feel less alone, and pick up some tips and encouragement for the journey.  

(passes on the talking stick)

PLEASE NOTE: This thread is for introductions only, if you have an issue you would like to discuss ongoing with the community, please start a new thread with your topic in the appropriate section.

[WallPop]

Hello there Clayhay. I am 61 y.o. And only joined tonight and noticed your Post which I do relate to, although I unfortunately cannot comment for your employment position. I have been treated with a Depression for past 18 years and with this recent return have found that I too do not want to get out of bed, nothing interests me and when I wake in the early hours I get irritable knowing I should get out of bed in a few hours. I can only say that hopefully you (we) can find our answers in this forum. I have come very annoyed and wary about Meds and Doctors' apparent lack of knowledge about the benefits or side effects of the Meds they are prescribing. I trust you may be more positive with this debilitating illness by being involved in this forum, certainly that is the hope I have for myself and that together we might all find our answers. I am sorry if this has been more of a whinge about me than helpful advice for yourself but let's both look forward to getting out of bed in the morning.

Sincerely WallPop

[Pixie15]

Hi WallPop,

Welcome to the bb forums. The forums are moderated so as your posts are up you probably have ticked all the right boxes. There are three options for reading posts "All Posts", "New Posts" and "My Posts". They are fairly self explanatory.

You might want to check out some of the threads under the "Staying Well" and "Treatments" forums which you can access by choosing "All Posts" and scrolling down.

If you do not find anything that really relates to what you want to talk about you can start a new thread.

cheers,

Pixie.

[WallPop]

Thanks heaps Pixie15. As it was, being an old dinosaur with this technology I was lost trying to find my way back to a relevant Page when I discovered your guidance. Thank you, but knowing myself, I will continue with some difficulties at times. Must continue on with reading Posts in search of some answers, hopefully.

Sincerely WallPop

[Masked101]

Hiya all, I'm 40 yo  mum of a teenage boy, work full time, study part time, have battled with depression most of my life. On and off meds for years. Most days over the last year or so have constant suicidal thoughts. Dependent on alcohol and pills. Like many I go to work and seem to cope fine with the pressure of work but by mid arvo am craving that wine....therapy helped for a couple of years but my therapist moved overseas and I'm struggling to fight my demons. Deep down I hate myself, I have such ingrained feelings of being  worthless . Thanks to a difficult childhood. I have broken ties with most family, avoid social settings as people annoy me . I work in a very sociable work place and in some ways that is my saving grace. But people at work don't know that I cry many days driving home and I think I am so worthless.

i have a wonderful son and an understanding partner( although he doesn't really know what I go through) but we don't see each other that much.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

have tried meditation, mindfulness, etc

still hate myself.

keep imagining getting 'loser' tattooed on my forehead 😞 

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Bluebird-09]

This is my first post.

I guess I've come here for anonymity as I'm sure many do. I'm intensely private in normal life and feel completely alone. 

I've struggled with depression for what feels like my entire life - worsened by a number of factors but most significantly the loss of my first child, a debilitating accident resulting in chronic pain and a fairly sad family life growing up. More recently I am struggling with anxiety and am at the lowest I've been in a long time. 

I have been medicated for as long as I can remember but I think I need a change and am seeking a new psychiatrist but don't know where to begin. 

The days are insufferable and the pain is relentless. I don't want to die, I just want to be free from the pain. I'm not suicidal but have very dark thoughts. 

I hope to be able to feel connected here somehow - I need help for the sake of my family.. 

[Super_Nurse10]

Hi Guys and Girls,

  I hope this finds you and find you all well! I've only just joined so am still navigating my way around.  I am(or was??) a nurse, although my PTSD doesn't allow me to work at the moment.  My PTSD is due to multiple traumatic events unrelated to Nursing.  I've become quite the homebody with my two dogs but am slowly working my way back.  My biggest coping mechanism has been avoidance, which had protected me for so long but is now hampering my recovery. I also find it hard as a lot of things trigger me! It may sound stupid but one big trigger is peoples eyes! (I am still not able to look at my therapist and its been two years- its a slow process) . I also get overwhelmed quite easily, and that is when i rely on self destructive behaviours/thoughts. I may self harm or have thoughts of suicide. 

I hope I have not rambled on too much!  Before I'm the woman with PTSD, I'm the woman who loves chocolate, loves her two dogs and plays netball a bit too rough!  🙂 
beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[DustyMB]

G'day all,

I've only recently found out that I have depression and anxiety, exposed by a job change that didn't work out. It's more complicated than that really, but I thought I'd be brief.

It's been 5 months now, and while I feel I have made some progress, adjusting to a 'new normal' is proving very challenging. 

I found Beyond Blue through the advice of my psychologist, as she believes that sharing my story would be helpful.

[Tryingtobeme]

Hello Beyondblue,

This is my first post here on this website so here goes.... I am 46 yrs old have suffered with anxiety and depression in the past was free from that for 6 years up until about 6 months ago. I am married to a man who is very controlling, manipulative, spiteful, childish and most of all a pathological liar. I believe or have figured out that this man is a deep rooted narcissist with no remorse or respect or care or concern for anybody but himself! We have been married for 4 long yrs and am needing to get out of this situation as it has started affecting my whole way of life! I have been nothing but loving and kind throughout this marriage but now i am starting to feel like it tearing me apart.. The whole time i thought that his behaviour would change but have now realized that he is incapable of anything else but delivering nastiness and pain!!! I need help to get out of this situation and don't know where to turn to as narcissism is a new thing to me!! I have never met anyone who can create so much destruction under one roof!! Please help Beyondblue..........

[Pixie15]

Hi Tryingtobeme,

Welcome to the bb forums. Hope you find some support to move on from this difficult relationship if that is what you want. There are a few threads that have dealt with NPD. The easiest way to find them is to google NPD and Beyond Blue which will give you links to go straight to them.

You might also like to start a thread of your own if you want some support specific to your situation.

thanks,

Pixie.

[pipsy]

Hello.  Firstly, sorry you are in such a bad place.  You're right about needing to get away.  You do need to be aware that when you leave he will let all your friends believe that everything you say is rubbish.  People with his condition don't like admitting they've got the condition.  Most of his problems probably stem from childhood, but you can do nothing about that.  Help is available through Centrelink, family services (depending on your age and financial status).  Leaving him may jolt him into realizing he needs help.  Just be aware that you're in for a rough time when you do leave.  If you can leave when he's not there, that would be easier.  If there's a potential for violence, the police will help.  He needs help, but so do you.  You're your first priority.  In time, you will be able to forgive him, but you need to find emotional safety.  Try to remember, this is not actually his fault, nor is it yours.  NPD's are usually people who've had to emotionally fight for survival in their growing up life.  Some believe this, for others it's true.  My in-laws are this way, I've had to distance myself for the same reason.   

Best of luck.