Lonely and just needing to talk it out

[Chloe013]

Hi, first time posting here.

I'm 20 years old and always kind of struggled with anxiety and opening up to others about it, towards the end of last year/start of this year was when I first decided it was affecting my life so much that I need help and at the start of this year I saw a counsellor at my uni. I found that useful and she said how it seemed I was having anxiety problems and kind of explained how anxiety works to me and told me about negative thought and ways to rethink. I saw that counsellor four time over a couple months and it was decided that I was doing better and didn't need to keep seeing her.

Over the last couple months though I feel like as if it's slowing rebuilding and I've noticed things like feeling nervous and restless but somehow sometimes a sense of nothingness. While also experiencing some physical symptoms like not getting to sleep until hours after I've actually gone to bed then not being able to get up until hours after I've woken, as well as a loss of appetite and just a general feeling of panic that I guess if I had to have way of describing, it would be a feeling in my chest.

I know that I should get help again but I almost feel ashamed because I was so proud of myself for getting better that I feel like I can't open myself back up to friends about it. I also feel like my recovery was kind of rushed at my uni so I would want to find a new counsellor which seems like a daunting task.

I guess I'm just looking for anyone who's experienced this sort of relapse and any advice?

Sorry for the massive post but thank you

[Croix]

Dear Chloe013~

Welcome here, and I'd have to say you are not alone. There are so many of us who have felt better, and relaxed thinking it's all over and OK. I'm as guilty as anyone.

It's a trap of course, anxiety can respond well to treatment, however it's often not a quick fix and takes time. Within limits the longer you stay on medical support and the better you feel the more your body and mind settles down long-term. Then you taper off, but always know at the back of you mind it is still there if ever needed, a sort of comfort.

So yes, it's disappointing, but only becuse you thought things were quicker than they actually are. There is nothing to be ashamed about, illness is illness, that's all.

If you old councilor is available and did you good, you could go back (many would have done so), else uni may be able to help, if not then your GP.

Please do not get discouraged or talk yourself out of getting the medical support you need, it does get better.

Croix

[baet123]

Hey Chloe,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting and sharing your situation with us.

Croix made some great points above and it is really important to acknowledge that your not alone. It is super encouraging that you have began seeking assistance and this is super important as it is crucial to intervene and receive treatment before your well-being and condition gets out of hand.

One thing I can recommend to you that worked for me is ensuring that even if you feel better and quite a bit of time goes by and your in a good place, please ensure you keep up regular appointments and the like. Feeling better is great and we all love to feel good, however, at any moment we can start to feel "not as great" and when and if this does happen, its crucial that you express your emotions and have appropriate support networks in place.

Seeking help for your condition is nothing to be ashamed of and in fact, you should be super proud that you have the courage, resilience and bravery to seek support and that you have battled on your own for so long. I believe it would be extremely beneficial for your emotional and mental health and well-being for you to see your GP and explore the possibilities of medication and setting up a mental health care plan which will provide you access to 10 free psychologist sessions. Please consider this as it will assist you greatly. Once your condition it is effecting your emotional well-being and overall quality of life, it is time to consider medication and/or assistance from your GP.

It does get better AND will get better. It did for me and so many others so why not for you to? Your GP and other health professionals are there for you and would love to hear from you and provide you with the tools you need to live the life you want to live and the life you deserve to live. Everyone deserves to be happy, yourself included.

I hope this helps and look forward to hearing from you again shortly.

Enjoy your week and good luck with your upcoming exams at uni.

All the best,

Nick.

[Mike_7597]

Hi Chloe

I am 21yrs old and I am literally in the exact same situation. Struggling with anxiety and don't feel comfortable opening up to people about my worries. I too went to speak to my uni councillor last year but after a few months I felt like we were getting nowhere. I have now been seeing a psychologist through Headspace for most of this year which I would definitely recommend. They really know their stuff and can really help break down your anxiety into a more manageable task. Please don't give up on your treatment though, listen to your gut and don't worry about what other people might think. Just do what's right for you.

I'm here if you wanna talk or just vent 🙂

[White_Rose]

Hello Chloe and Mike

A warm welcome to both of you. As you have similar posts I am writing to both of of you together. Hope that's OK.

As has already been said, anxiety does not not go away quickly. It has probably taken time for this to get into your head enough to be distressing and does need time to get it out again. You are not alone in this and I am surprised your counsellor suggested you were OK Chloe after only four sessions. To have experienced anxiety for a long time is a measure of how much it affects you. Hardly surprising to realise it will take a while to manage.

However, do not be discouraged or think you have failed in any way. It's the same with any illness that you have for a while. It also takes time to heal. So take time to heal from your anxious thoughts. Find someone who has the skills to help you. Mike has pointed you to Headspace. https://headspace.org.au/ Ph:1800 650 890. Explore their web page, I think it will be helpful to you.

Alternatively visit your GP and ask to be referred to a counsellor or psychologist. I think Headspace is the cheaper option and perhaps Mike, you can confirm this. You can have Medicare subsidised visits to a psychologist but you must go through your GP who will explain the whole process.

In the meantime please do not be too hard on yourself. I usually chuckle when I write that because it's exactly what I do, set impossible standards and wonder why I cannot reach them. I frequently need to remind myself to be kind.

Please do not be ashamed about your feelings. I know how good it must have felt to manage your anxiety after such a short time and then to start worrying again is such a let down. It happens to all of us. If you have learned some ways to manage your anxiety from the counsellor then may I suggest you write it up as a list and pin it up somewhere you look frequently. It's a good way to bring your attention back to coping instead of the mind telling you how bad you are.

I also find it's good to keep a journal of some sort. It is amazing how much different there is between thinking and writing. When you write you tend to keep focussed on what is happening but simply thinking and trying to get the brain to behave and send your thoughts away does not work. You find that all sorts of other problems get added to the anxiety until you have a panic attack. That feeling in your chest is unpleasant and in turn affects the rest of your body. Writing keeps roller coaster thoughts under control.

Mary

[Chloe013]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the support and suggestions. In a way it was reassuring to hear that this is a long term problem for most people, it makes me feel less disappointed in myself for letting my anxiety catch up with me again, and I"ll set up an appointment with Headspace or my GP, but I think I'll go with Headspace first as if it's going to be for a long duration seeing a counsellor then I may need to go with the cheaper option.

I think I'll also try you're idea Mary of keeping a journal as even writing these posts I feel has been helping so I think writing down what's going on in my head will help.

[Chloe013]

Hi Mike,

Thanks for sharing your experience with me, I feel like we had similar experiences with our uni counsellors, although it did help initially, I felt like because I was still at uni I couldn't completely open up about what was happening. It seems like seeing the psychologist at Headspace has really helped you and it seems like you can get the support you need there.

It was good to hear this from another student who's had a similar experience, as I often feel like I can't open up to friends about how I'm going with my anxiety which probably didn't help with keeping on top of it.

Thanks

Chloe

[baet123]

Hey Chloe,

Good to hear your feeling a bit better. Headspace would be so beneficial for you and let us know how that progresses. A journal is a great way of tracking your emotions and expressing them rather than keeping them inside.

Continue the good work and keep us posted.

All the best,

Chloe.