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Job search avoidance

Community Member

hi I need to look for a job but am avoiding starting the process. I could not work as a registered nurse due to depression so I resigned 4 years ago.l have been supported financially by my husband and focusing on caring for my teenage daughters (17 & 18 years old) getting them through school & looking after household ,my husband is pressuring me to get a job but just the thought of starting to look is a daunting task with depression & having been out of the workforce for so long , I am 55 ,just wondering if anyone has been through similar situation or any tips to motivate me to start the process,job searching agencies for people with depression sound beneficial but I’m not eligible for job seeker & therefore unable to get assistance from them , I’m not sure what sort of jobs I’m suited to but maybe with my nursing background I could look for work in a Carer role , or a job suited to someone with depression, any suggestions?  Kind regards 

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


I certainly understand your depression and how hard it is to be motivated to seek work.


What is a concern however is- what if your husband developed depression also and you both didnt get the income he provides now?. What I'm suggesting is- there are many people with mental illness that still work because they have to or are capable of working maybe even in a part time capacity.


A change of career isnt so silly, away from any work that has the capacity to inflame your illness. For many years I was in the legal/law enforcement fields and I had to start fresh in another job, it turned out a supervisor in a factory with disabled people, it turned out perfect at the time. So any field that causes the least stress  might be the way to go, for the short term. Also working with the least number of people around you as people and their antics can be challenging.


I'd recommend 10 free visits to a mental health professional as a means to help you with the get back to work process. See your GP about this.


Discount your age as a barrier as well as 4 years out of the workplace, those facts are less and less relevant nowadays.


I think you husband would be really proud of you for trying to find work and deep inside I think you can begin the process but find it somewhat daunting. These hiccups in life that leave us in a "hole" can be easily washed away as soon as we place one foot in front of the other and step in the right direction. That first day of trying is the hardest, then you are on your way.


Keep us posted. You've got this.





Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Frogmore,


Your thread immediately caught my eye because it hit close to home so I wanted to reply (and also to see what ideas others came up with!).


Like you I left my job to cope with depression and found myself unwilling and scared to make the step to rejoin the workforce.


I felt like I was uncompetitive for any job, that my skills were out of date (or non existent) and didn't know where to start either.


I started with seriously thinking and writing down what I absolutely needed in a workplace. Things like...


I get very drained dealing with people so I want to work mostly alone.

Need to have work which fits with childcare and family life.

Physical work makes me feel good and less stressed so I want something active.


Then I tried to find jobs that fit those things. Even jobs that other people said were 'beneath' me or paid little. You just need to get back in the workforce, get some new skills and references and then if you want to you can develop from there.


So if you were to write down the absolute key things you need to be well in the workplace what would they be?


Can you think of any jobs that fit or that would make you happy?


The second hurdle was taking action. I am absolutely hopeless at this. It's hard to apply for work when you have to sell your skills and don't feel like you can.


But you are an asset to any workplace! Your life experiences are amazing skills to bring to any job. Your history of nursing and then life experience with mental health issues are skills in themselves. You can empathise with people. You have experience with being a parent while coping with mental health issues. These are all skills you can use. 


But that said it's not just the healthcare jobs open to you! Look wider. What interests you? What would make you feel happy? 


I'm not remotely ashamed to say I clean at a school. I love my job. It is rewarding because I care about children and their right to learn. It is early so it's quiet and I work in my area alone for the most part. It's physical. It works around my family. Would I ever have considered it? Maybe not. But it works for me. 


Now... what would work for you? Any ideas?


I'd love to hear what you think. 








Thankyou tonywk much appreciated your  advice has encouraged me to make steps forward, 👍

Thanks quercus , this is great advice that I will take with me in my steps toward employment I am still trying to job search with a big depression cloud hanging over my head at the moment, and financial depression/anxiety makes up big part of that cloud , cognition very foggy , I can’t afford my hrt patches I have a virus My teenage daughter is driving me crazy , I need to get better fast to get a job not just for the$$ but also give my daughter a break from me , thanks again much appreciated, just saw a job for laundry assistant (plenty experience there !& I don’t have to talk to the sheets, I just got to apply myself