Introduction

[Foxile]

Hi,

I'm a 54 year old male and I've suffered depression on and off since I was a teenage.  For most of that time I was self medicating, primarily with ever increasing quantities of alcohol.  During the early years I just thought it was typical teenage angst and then early 20's blues.  I still managed to achieve things, a 2hour 43 min marathon, a good degree, masters degree, etc.  I was first treated for depression in my early 30s, but thought then that it was just due to heavy work load and struggling to pay my mortgage - beer and wine seemed to do the trick.  However, even when I moved from England to Hong Kong and started to make good money, the black dog was still there.  Mental illness carries a major stigma in China and my girlfriend/wife is Chinese so the depression wasn't talked about and I continued to self medicate for many years, including after moving to Australia in 2009.  Eventually, I started to look for help again and in 2013 I hit my rock bottom and started my journey of recovery.  I have not had a drink since entering detox on 17 October 2013, but the depression is still there.  I lost my job whilst in a rehab because I had been absent from work for more than 3 months.  Fortunately I had salary insurance, which has allowed me to focus on recovery whilst still making the mortgage payments.  I also learnt that I need both hips replacing - stopping drinking revealed constant pain!

Since the surgery, which was completed in July 2014, I have completed a Cert IV in Mental Health/Drug & Alcohol studies, and I am currently studying for a Cert III in Fitness.  Following this, I intend to do a Cert IV in Fitness then a Diploma in D&A Studies.  I hope to work in a rehab and use fitness training to facilitate recovery.  Last weekend I completed the CBR100km Challenge in 27 hours 26 mins, to raise money for Beyond Blue - sadly my depression means that I feel no sense of achievement or elation.

I am also a Director of the ACT Mental Health Consumer Network and a mental health consumer representative on 2 ACT Health committees.  I am also a consumer representative on the ACT Not For Profit drug & alcohol service, DIRECTIONS, Consumer Advice Group.  I have started a group called New Direction, to help persons with lived experience of mental health and/or drug and alcohol issues get involved in exercise and facilitate their recovery.

I look forward to being involved in these forums and working with Beyond Blue to advocate for us all.

[blondguy]

Hi Fox and Welcome to the BB Forums

So say that we would appreciate your help would be the understatement of the year (decade)

Thankyou so much for your post. I am still digesting your studies and achievements...I hope you can have a look around on our forums and by all means if you can assist anyone it would be very kind of you to assist.

The Black Dog can be a pest when he doesn't keep his distance...I do hear you loud and clear there. I apologise Fox....still re-reading your post! Marathons?? I think you give 'self discipline' a whole new meaning.

I have had severe anxiety for 25 years and now find the anxiety 'feelings' rather boring..which is great but the depression took over so I can empathize re the Black Dog. I just dont want to insult a K9!

There are many wonderful people on the BB Forums that would appreciate any coping mechanisms you wish to provide..Our BB Cafe is a 'neutral' place where you are more than welcome to have a cuppa!

Even by posting there is a large audience that read these (your) posts and will benefit by your input and experience Fox.

* New Direction......if you can provide us with details that would be great too.

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Fox,

Thanks for your post! You have certainly managed to keep out of the Black Dog's jaws long enough to achieve some amazing goals.

I'm sure you will find quite a conglomeration of people and circumstances on this forum. Welcome on board.

Recently I completed a 6 month Tafe course and felt very chuffed with myself when I completed it. I couldn't tell you the name of any of the modules I completed nor more than 10 percent of the content of what I learnt as my brain has trouble remembering information!

You mentioned that due to your depression you have no sense of achievement. I have a sense of achievement but due to my depression I have no recollection of what I studied! Ha. Ha.

Depression and mental health issues affect us all so differently!

Welcome and looking forward to reading more of your posts.

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[blondguy]

Good Morning Mrs Dools

I do hope Fox gets back to us....What a wonderful post!

Cheers

Paul

[geoff]

dear Foxile, a wonderful achievment in what you have done, but when you are in your 20's it's the norm to drink alcohol not that I'm saying everyone in their 20's have this problem, but it's a time when you have to decide what you want to do with your life.
Being abstained for 3 years is another great achievement and probably one of the best you have done, because by running marathons, yes is good, but not as good as stopping the grog, because I would consider that to be more important.
Once you had hip surgery, which I know is very painful before the operation, you then decided to put your life back on track academically even though depression was still there.
I have to applaud you on what you have achieved and we would value any help that you have for this site.
Can I just ask you a question or two, and only answer if you want to: how you cope talking to people who have an alcohol or drug problem, and whether it makes you more determined not to drink, and how is it talking or seeing someone struggling with depression, because talking face to face is different than typing on a keyboard.
How you answer these questions has no bearing that it would be great to have you on board. Geoff.

[Foxile]

Is that a Husky?  I have a female Husky, she's about 11 now.  Used to also have a rough collie, but she died in front of me about 15 months ago.

[Foxile]

Hi, 

I think a lot of younger people are realising early that they do have a problem and are getting help and sober at an early age - I wish I had known what AA really was about when I was at university after my mum died, as that's when the depression and the drinking started to get completely out of control.  I did manage to pull back and get the degrees, the good job, the properties, etc. but when I look back now, I realise I was never in control of it.

Regarding to talking to people with addiction issues, I find it stimulating, if frustrating at times.  I very much believe in the 'pay it forward' model, I don't want anything back from people I help (doing that in itself is incredibly helpful to me, which is more than enough).  What I like to see is when these guys can then take their experiences and knowledge and help the newcomer.  I often drive people from the detox facility in Canberra to and from AA meetings, and it is great to talk to them and show by example that there is a solution.  I have also volunteered at the AA office and manned the phones, so I have experience of telephone interventions.  In April I am doing the security and safety training to allow me to be an AA visitor at the local prison.  In late June early July I hope to be accepted for the Lifeline crisis intervention course (I am already an accredited Mental Health First Aid provider).  In April I will also be taking training to help present the ACT Mental Health Consumer Network Self Advocacy training.  I have experience as a trainer (I was training manager for a multinational civil engineering design company in Hong Kong (amongst other roles) and public speaking - presenting technical papers at conferences, so I am looking forward to that.

Comorbidity is very common, so many of my friends in recovery are also suffering from depression or are bipolar.  Being patient and recognising that we all respond differently is important.  Early identification of strengths and working on those initially to build confidence and trust is important.   Challenges can be viewed as opportunities for growth or as reasons to step back.  It's important that the validity of the second is acknowledged to avoid being judgemental, but I would always encourage that people view them as opportunities.  Having said that, when I was drinking I would avoid challenges and attempts to leave my comfort zone, so I have walked in their shoes in some ways.

[Kazzl]

Hi Foxile! Wow oh wow am I pleased to meet you! I'm in the ACT and I know of Directions - had a bit of contact with them a few years ago. Please take a look at my profile on the Who are our champions thread. I'm leading the Heads Up program for a major department - we're just starting up and looking to connect with local service providers and knowledgable people to learn from. I'll be doing the Mental Health First Aid training soon too.

Congrats on your sobriety too - I'm coming up to five years booze free!

[blondguy]

Hi Fox

Thanks for the reply

Sorry to hear about your Collie....It is awful when they pass. I just had a Border Collie euthanized in December with Tracheal Paralysis.

The guy in the photo is an Alaskan Malamute..he was about 60kilo...a bear.

Great to see you on here Fox

Cheers

Paul

[Foxile]

Hi Paul,

In response to your request for more information, New Direction is a group that I am trying to get established for people in the ACT region who have lived experience of mental illness and/or addiction issues (or their carers) to get involved in exercise and talk about their experiences.  I got the idea when I was in rehab and exercise was an important part of my recovery.  Many people enjoyed the exercise but dropped off when they left.  My hope is that the group will encourage them to keep exercising as part of their continued recovery.  Hopefully we can enter teams into events such as City to Surf, the Canberra Times Fun Run, Sydney to the Gong Bike Ride, etc.

For more information, I have set up a Facebook page

I am trying to build a website, but have no experience so it is a slow process.