Hi all!!!! First timer here 😀

[Evie79]

Hi all my name is Evie,

i have been suffering from anxiety and depression on and off for many years now, I am a mother of two and been married for nearly 16 yrs.

I am hoping I can get advise from fellow sufferers and just to have general chit chat with people dealing with the same illness.

Looking forward to hearing from you 😀😀

[pipsy]

Hi Evie. I'm so sorry to hear you have this terrible problem. I suffered for many years too. Mine was mainly lack of family support when I was abused by a member of the family. My mum knew, she also knew who attacked me, but favoured him. My dad never knew, I was told if I told him and he left, it would be my fault. For years I believed that. My in-laws (ex, now) abused me, with my ex-husbands full support. I left him last year with the support and friendship shown here. Since leaving him and re-building my life through the friendship and support here, my life has turned around. I still have moments, but knowing I'm not alone has been amazing. Now you've reached out, you'll never be alone either. No matter how often you come to the forums, there'll always be someone who will listen and support. Are you on AD's for relaxation. Do you see a counsellor/Dr. Everything helps when you reach out and learn to trust. Would love to learn more about you. Please feel free to write back. There are some pretty awesome people here who have been where you are now.

Lynda.

[Evie79]

Hi Lynda,

Thanks for the reply!!! That is horrible what happened to you I'm very sorry to hear that. It's great to hear that you are getting better.

When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at first I thought my hormones were all over the place and thought I was on the verge of early menopause cause the anxiety or panic attacks would occur whenever my monthly was due so went to docs had tests done and all come back clear which was great, but wasn't expecting them to say you have depression and anxiety 😞

my first daughter was 5 when I was diagnosed and she is 13 now so I have been dealing with this for many years now and I'm sick of it!!!

I had some family issues (hubby) wasn't sure if I still loved him as we were always arguing about money as he wanted me working but I thought I couldn't at the time as I was scared I was going to have an attack and look silly. So it took me awhile to get on the right medication and to accept my illness.

I was getting very frustrated with my husband as he was trying really hard to help me, but he kept saying " you need to snap out of it" and occasionally he still says it. But as you know is easier said than done and they wouldn't understand.

Im glad that I got the courage to register myself on this site as I kept saying to myself " no I don't need that, there is t anything wrong with me"

im the type of person that would lend a hand at the drop of a hat, and then when it came to me needing help no one would offer. I also had a stalker on social media that was really nasty, so I was scared to leave the house for about a month.

I hope that gives you an insight of me and hope to hear from you soon xx

Evie

[blondguy]

Hi Evie79

I am sincerely sorry that you have anxiety/depression...Not a nice place to be in at all. My name is Paul and had my first mega anxiety attack years ago and then the depression came to the party..ugh! I have been on AD's since 1997 which have been a huge help and gave me a platform on which I could heal further.

You have great courage and strength to have posted on the forums Evie and good on you. There are many super kind people here with similar issues.

With all respect to your husband I have a little quote I find handy when people I know just 'dont get it'....as depression is an illness just like diabetes or heart disease....

"Expecting positive thinking to cure depression is like expecting a person with diabetes to lower their blood sugar level by thinking happy thoughts"

Of course a positive mindest does help...but over the years I have found this helps me out...its only my opinion

You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish Evie

My Kind thoughts for you

Paulx

[pipsy]

Hi Evie, Nice to hear back from you. Having a stalker would've freaked you out. Being told to 'snap out of it' is really like waving a red rag to a bull. People often say that, thinking it helps, all it does is send you scurrying. Where are you now with your depression, are you coping? If you're still having set-backs, there are ways you can overcome this. First you need help from Dr's. AD's will help relax you too. If you can get a referral to a counsellor/therapist for skills to overcome the dark clouds that envelope you, that's major in coping. Another thing to help is small steps to start. By that I mean, if you're having problems with getting out of bed, try giving yourself a treat when you do accomplish this. Sometimes getting up is major. Each time you manage to go for a walk, treat yourself. Keep a journal of your accomplishments so when you find yourself back-tracking, read your journal of where you are now, as opposed to where you were. With work issues, if you feel comfortable, part time work, or volunteer work to give you the confidence to build up to where you feel you could handle a full time job. When you feel depressed, sometimes work is good therapy, other times it can back fire if you take on too much, too soon. Do what you're comfortable with, not what others tell you. You're you, they're not.

Lynda.

[Evie79]

Hi Paul,

thankyou for reading my post and thankyou for welcoming me and your kind words.

I love the quote that you shared with me, and it totally makes sense.

im hoping to make some friends aswell.

Thanks again Paul

hope to hear from you soon xx

happy thoughts

Evie xx

[Evie79]

Hi Lynda,

Thankyou for replying to me, as much I I want advise and ways to deal with my situation I really like to make friends aswell. Because I only have a small amount of friends and I find I can't talk to them about things. I find that if I go to bed too early that I'm awake all night and then I'm stuffed the next day, so my husband gets cranky with that, and I know that my biggest thing is that I like to have a few reds of a night time which I know I shouldn't be having but it somehow relaxes me.

I have tried listening to relaxation music when I go to bed which sometimes helps, but I have also found whenever there is a full moon my anxiety is horrible, I finally drift off to sleep then once I've finally fallen asleep I somehow get startled and jump and wake myself up, I get restless and get hot and cold sweats and get very fidgety. It's bloody annoying.

With the work situation I've had a few jobs since I've had depression, most of the jobs were part time but there were days that I couldn't go in because of my anxiety and restless nights , and I'd lose my job.

Sorry!!! But I need to ask am I saying to much in here or not?

Anyway I will leave it there for now 😀

thanks for listening ( or reading) hahaha!!!!

Hope to hear from you soon xx

happy thoughts

Evie xxxx

[geoff]

dear Evie, never feel as though you're saying too much, that's not the problem but your depression and anxiety are what is causing you to feel this way.
The biggest trouble is that you have to accept that you do have depression, because being in denial only confuses the situation and also prolongs the beginning to any treatment, but when your husband says 'snap out of it', what does that actually mean, to be able to go along with what he wants,or just pretend all the time that you are OK.
It would be difficult for him to help you if that's how he feels, in other words it's not the appropriate type of care you need.
When you are feeling this way it's so hard or even impossible to be able to show your love or to continually tell him that you love him, even though you do.
I also wonder how your daughter has been treated, because at 13 it can be a difficult age with so much going on and learning with so many questions to ask.
Can I ask about any treatment you are getting and also about the stalker, but won't unless you want me to. Geoff. x

[blondguy]

Hi Evie

Thankyou so much for posting back and your kind words too 🙂 You are not saying too much at all. You can talk about what you are comfortable doing so. I used to get those hot & cold night sweats a few years ago and they were a pain. The anxiety (adrenaline flow) can wake us up at night and keep us in a state of 'over awareness' by having poor quality sleeps leaving us exhausted the next day.

If I may ask Evie, do you suffer from anxiety everyday where it effects you in traffic or frequently in certain situations?

Lynda is gem and has some excellent advice I read above. I was initially put on AD's to take treat the chronic anxiety I was having. It was awful. I gave my doc a hard time as I was anti-meds but after my female GP read me the riot act I have found them a great tool which have helped me re-build.

You attitude is a breath of fresh air. You are a self aware, intelligent and well articulated person.

My Kind thoughts

Paulx

[Evie79]

Hi Geoff,

i would like to know what you meant by how my daughter has been treated?? My daughter is treated like any other 13 year old. But this isn't about my daughter this is about me.

Thanks

evie xx