I'm new here and struggling with a lot of frustration

[Rochan2014]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and wanted to say a bit about my current situation. I suffer from anxiety mostly, occasionally panic attacks but not much depression. I have type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, am very overweight and a few other health issues too. I have been told I am more vulnerable if I get the coronavirus. I always seem to have a sinus infection and last year after I travelled overseas I got sick at the end of the trip and it took 2 months to get better. I believe if I get Coronavirus that it will hit me hard.

I have done everything right now to plan my isolation. I get my groceries delivered and have arranged to get medication delivered next week. And I am not visiting anyone or leaving my place or garden except some days to go for a walk. I am washing my hands very frequently, cleaning things in my room and doing everything possible not to get the virus.

I live in the downstairs basement of my parents house. They are quite elderly but unfortunately they are not taking things seriously. Although they get priority delivery of groceries as a result of their age, they still go out to the shops and supermarket nearly every day. They are not careful about washing their hands, touching things or keeping a distance from other people. And they have my brother visit them inside the house (upstairs) several days a week. He lives in a seperate place but works in a public office with people coming in and out all the time.

I have tried to advise my parents about the risks of getting Coronavirus for me and for them. However they are ignoring not just my advice but also the government's guidelines and putting me unnecessarily at risk. While it's true I can mostly stay in my unit, I still have to use the washing machine and occasionally cook in the kitchen upstairs. I have tried all manner of things to communicate to them but it makes no difference. My elderly neighbours and friend's parents are all doing the right thing which makes it more frustrating. My family just don't get the seriousness of it, and take it very casually and continue to defy the government's advice.

So my anxiety goes through the roof which means I eat more and my blood sugar goes up, or it goes up anyway with stress. And if it's uncontrolled then it makes my risk even greater if I get coronavirus.

I have tried talking to my friends and on facebook but people just don't reply or also aren't taking it seriously. I feel very isolated and alone. I can do my work but have noone to talk to.

[Helen72]

Hi Rochan,

You are very proactive and your organising skills are impressive 🙂

I had a similar thing with my mother - she insisted she wasn't infected and suggested I was being unreasonable - parents can be so frustrating.

You've organised so many things - can you do your washing at a neighbours? That'll be one less avenue?
As for talking you're talking on this board - it's something

Helen

[Rochan2014]

Hi Helen,

Thank you for your support and kind words. I need to be proactive as I always get hit hard by a virus so I simply can't afford to get it. I probably won't ask my neighbour for washing as they are completely isolating and it might make them a bit anxious, they are both elderly and have other health problems. I guess I can do it and remember to wash my hands before and after, and the same if I go in the kitchen to do some food.

I am just so frustrated, upset and anxious because my parents say they will continue to go to the supermarket and say my brother will visit several times over Easter and on Sunday. I wish they understood the seriousness of it all. He should not be visiting a house with 3 vulnerable people at all now. And since they have priority delivery from Woolies, they should use it and stay home !

If anyone has any advice on how I could cope with this, or how I could calm down a bit, I'd appreciate it.

I'm carrying on with things like working from home etc, and cleaning, preparing food in my basement room. It's just eating away at me because I can't seem to get the message across to them and I don't know if they will ever take it seriously.

Thanks for reading,

Richard

[Helen72]

Hi again Richard,

I've no suggestions for less contact - although if there's a laundromat that may be an avenue - do all the usual precautions and sit. outside while you're waiting? Or is the washing routine you've got more doable?

As for you, the usual, do something you like, do some exercise, do some relaxing, limit your news intake. Me I'm working out how to do exercise online. I'm doing some overdue house cleaning, doing a tiny bit of exercise every time I got to the toilet, put on ABC Kids in the morning instead of news, play the radio. and I'm slowly getting a routine - I'm fairly active in the morning and then if I'm slack after lunch I've still accomplished something for that day. Maybe a routine for you would help?

But most of all, think of this at seasonal - yes it will last for a while but not forever.

'Talk' soon

cheers Helen

[Helen72]

Oh and this thread might be helpful - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/coping-during-the-coronavirus-outbreak

[Rochan2014]

Hi Helen,

Thanks again for your words of encouragement. I guess there is usually a time I can do the washing. I have a bit of a routine but I just find I'm tired all the time now. I should try and get out for a walk most days. I find all the other jobs just tire me anyway plus doing my work on the computer.

I'm not very good first thing in the morning. Usually, I am better after dinner. I guess it is just seasonal as you say, and just taking it one day at a time. I will glad when I am able to get out and about a bit more.

Thank you for sending me the link.

Take care also,

Richard

[Nimi]

Hi Rochan,

First of all welcome to the community servers! I am brand new as well. I am not sure how helpful this advice may be, but I just wanted to say that it sounds to me like you are doing the very best that you can despite the situation and I think you should definitely keep that in mind!

I have always found at least for me that deep breathing is one of the best ways to calm myself down when I start to get very stressed or anxious. I am not sure if you have tried it before, but maybe give it a shot? Sometimes taking a moment to ground yourself and remind yourself that you are doing your best and that these times will pass is all you need. For deep breathing, I take a deep breath in, then hold it for a moment and exhale slowly. After a few repetitions, I have found it has a naturally calming effect.

Take care and goodluck,
Nimi

[Rochan2014]

Hi Nimi,

Thank you for your advice and encouragement. Yes I am trying the best I can and I decided after last night that I will have all my meals in my room now, and just use my microwave to prepare evening meals. I had dinner upstairs last night and it was too much anxiety, and I needed to watch what I eat since I have diabetes and people kept coming in and out so I couldn't relax. My brother continues to visit when he is not supposed to and my parents keep going to the shops when they have delivery available to them.

I am worried that people will not stay home over easter and all the good work of the last 2 to 3 weeks will be undone.

I am using the deep breathing more and more now, it is an excellent grounding technique and helps me to calm a bit. I read today that anxiety and panic are bad for the immune system and it is even more incentive for me to completely isolate from my family and be in control of what I eat and when I eat.

It is difficult when I see or hear them talking together, because I don't have anyone to talk to. I wish they could do that well away from me. It would be so much easier if I was just here by myself. It is just more stress with people here who are not following the instructions of quarantining.

Take care too,

Richard

[Nimi]

Hi Rochan!!

That's wonderful to hear! I am glad the breathing is helping, who knew it could be so effective right? It sounds like a good plan to have dinner in your room if you are feeling anxious and uncomfortable in that environment. I hope you are feeling okay today, just wanted to send you strength!

Nimi

[Rochan2014]

Hi Nimi,

Thank you for your message. I don't feel too bad today. I was not well last night with all kinds of pain and anxiety and low blood sugar even after I ate food. I think I did too much yesterday. My doctor advised me I need to eat my meals on my own because my family are not doing the right thing. So I take his advice, but it's so hard cause I'm always tripping over things in my room and there's no space for anything.

I will keep using the breathing techniques to try and calm down. Thank you for that suggestion.

Richard