I just need to talk

[sad_and_knowone_to_talk_t]

I just have knowone to talk to

[Misfunctional]

Hi there, Sadandknowonetotalkto, I have been in a position almost identical to yours. We are now seperated and working on reconciling but it has been a long hard road and we still have a very long way to go. I can't tell you what you should do but I can tell you what I should have done before we seperated.

1. I should have seen a counselor more frequently to decide what is holding me back from making myself happy instead of relying on him to make me happy. He had always been my rock, but the rock started wearing out and needed time to do stuff for himself before he crumbled.

2. I should have asked him if he was ok. Everyone knew I was suffering anxiety and depression but I don't think anyone asked how he was coping. Being the support for a depressed person is hard and would make anyone resent their situation sometimes.

3. I should have said "I'm not happy with the way things are, I've booked an appointment with a relationship counselor and it would mean alot to me if you came too"

After we agreed to seperate we did see a counselor together so we could seperate as amicably as possible and I realised how bad things were.

I have no idea if these things might work for you, but I regret not doing them myself. Seperation is so hard on everyone, even "amicable" seperation.

I am sending lots of good thoughts your way and really hope you guys can work things out. If you do, it will be hard, but if you love each other it will be worth it. X

[sad_and_knowone_to_talk_t]

I do love him still. My head just gets into these black holes and it's hard to clearly think at times. We do love each other still. He knows my head gets into these spots at times. I do need to ask him if he is ok. I know my anxiety can be hard for him at times. But instead of getting grumpy and taking it out on him I need to speak up and tell him. I dont want to leave him.

[Mikaela99]

Hi everyone, I'm new here...to be honest I'm not really sure what to say but I pretty much just need to talk to people who are going through similar things and understand and make me feel a little less broken than I do lately. I guess I need to vent but it will probably happen in small bursts because I feel so overwhelmed and its too much for me to sort through all of it right now.

If anyone has any advice on strategies or coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety/depression over family drama then I'd love to hear it...(sorry I know this was super vague)

thanks for listening x

[Sophie_M]

Hi Mikaela99,

Thank you for sharing this here. We're so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Please know that this community is here for you.

In addition if you ever fell like talking to someone about these thoughts and feelings,  please give the Beyond Blue helpline a ring directly on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer: 

• Beyond Blue 
• Kids Helpline 
• Lifeline 
• Headspace (9am-1am AEDT) 

It can be really tough to make the step to make a call but the people who answer the phone are kind and helpful. They speak to people about this everyday and can offer useful advice. You don't have to go through this alone.

Hopefully we'll hear from the community at some point. In the meantime, we hope you're able to be kind to yourself, and to feel some pride in the bravery it took to post here today. 

Kind regards,
 

[jaz28]

Hi Mikaela,

I am sorry you feel this way, just know all of us here understand and are here to lend a listening ear. You are not alone.

Family drama is difficult, I find it best to try and remove myself from it if I can (although it is hard) and focus on doing things that make you happy. I find meditation and gratitude helps to ground me.

Are you able to reason with your family members?

Jaz.